• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

There is a terrible phenomenon in China today that affects every family. It is too late not to look at it.

When the rich have changed the direction of education, they have begun to cultivate compound talents who can better adapt to society. But the poor have taken the detour that the rich took 10 years ago: doting on their children unlimitedly, seeking only grades and nothing else. There are too many rich second generations from poor families now! When he went to a friend\’s company to talk about team building, he said confusedly: \”I used to think that children from poor families can endure hardships and have a sense of responsibility. Now I simply don\’t dare to recruit employees from poor families. There are too many rich second generations from poor families.\” \”Rich second generation\”, in people\’s minds, is equated with being lazy, spending money like water, not striving for advancement, and behaving erratically. As the name suggests, it is because the family is rich and pampered that the children are ignorant. However, with the development of China\’s economy, especially the rise of the new urban middle class, there are more and more rich second generations who speak uprightly, bear hardships and stand hard work. On the contrary, children from poor families have inherited the problems of the rich second generation. The biggest reason for this phenomenon is the compensation mentality of family members. The worse the family situation is, the more they feel that they cannot lose their children. It is their educational belief that they would rather make the whole family poor than their children. Growing up in such an environment, he was used to asking for things and lacked a sense of gratitude. Spending today\’s money and tomorrow\’s consumption far exceeded his ability. What\’s even worse is that the sense of responsibility is almost zero. If I am poor, I am justified, if I am weak, I am justified. This mentality will make people around him have great opinions on him. Complete failure in interpersonal communication. The psychology of compensation is the self-comfort of the elders. Ten years ago, poor people had the courage to admit their own shortcomings and were able to stay clear-headed when it came to educating their children: Our family situation is not good, you have to take more responsibilities and become self-reliant; now, various myths of wealth creation have impacted all walks of life, and more and more people People who have not created wealth put the responsibility on opportunities, social injustice, and class consolidation. Because they see no hope, they can only use everything they have to compensate their children: I don’t care what your future will be like, at least when you were a child, you had what others had. This directly has a negative consequence: the worse the family background, the easier it is to regard normal education as hardship, and to make children suffer as a shame. Limited by one\’s own vision, families with poor economic conditions can easily make the third mistake in education: thinking that as long as they study well, it will be enough. Regardless of whether their children study well or not, they never wash underwear, clean, or say hello to strangers. Things other than grades have nothing to do with them. This directly leads to children\’s poor sense of responsibility and poor social skills. After working, I became the little princess and prince in the team who didn\’t use her brain when doing things and wanted to shirk responsibility when problems occurred. They never regard themselves as a complete person who can be responsible for a comprehensive project, but as a screw or a part, imagining that there are parents behind them to clean up the battlefield for them. If a rich person wears clothes costing 100 yuan, he is frugal, and if a poor person wears the same style, he is poor. In this social reality, poor parents often cultivate excessive self-esteem in their children. In order to prevent others from saying that their children are poor, they simply don’t let them wear clothes worth 100 yuan. However, self-esteem is vain, life is real, and vanity cannot help anyone survive a lifetime. This kind of self-esteem education in poor families makes children particularly \”late bloomers\”. When their peers already know that they are working hard to have three meals a day and a life ten years from now, they still hold on to the idea.With a warm self-esteem, they imagine that they can succeed as long as they act like successful people. The difference between rich and poor is essentially a difference in education. While the rich have changed the direction of education and begun to cultivate compound talents who can better adapt to society, the poor have taken the detour that the rich took 10 years ago: doting on their children unlimitedly, seeking only grades and nothing else. As a result, the \”poor second generation\” of rich families are getting richer and richer, while the \”rich second generations\” of poor families are getting poorer and poorer. When Brigitte Lin was most depressed in her life, Master Shengyan gave her 8 words: face, accept, deal with, and let go. This 8-character policy also applies to parents whose family circumstances are not what they want. The real growth as a parent is to be able to face up to your own failures in life and reflect on your own reasons. A father said to his children at the dinner table: \”I have enough talent and hard work in my life. The reason for my failure is that I have too strong a personality and am not tactful in dealing with things.\” Later, he reflected on this issue many times, so that his children were very early I started reading psychology books and always paid special attention to the cultivation of my emotional intelligence. The causes of failure in the father are well restored in his children. If he does not face it honestly, but blames his family and society, his descendants may become poor and proud in a cycle of paranoia. Parents who openly face their own shortcomings are more authoritative than pretending to be strong. All roads lead to Rome, so don’t compare yourself to those who live in Rome. Every effort made by parents and children will ultimately bring them closer to Rome day by day. Face, accept, process, let go. I hope that all parents in the world will firmly believe that parents are more powerful than schools. No matter how great the difference in educational resources is, it cannot compare with the difference in parents\’ mentality. Recently, I have seen too many \”rich second generations\” from poor families who are afraid of difficulties at work, have high self-esteem, and cannot do or say anything. Differences in education will solidify or even intensify the gap between rich and poor. And this difference is not what school you go to, but whether your parents can face their own situation with a normal mind and explore methods of education through reflection and growth. Attachment: A bowl of noodles killed a child, but awakened countless parents across the country! A grandma often takes her grandson after school to a beef noodle shop next to the school to eat noodles before returning home. They often order two bowls of noodles. Before each meal, the grandma always puts the beef from her bowl into the child\’s bowl. Then he looked at his grandson with a smile as he gulped down the jujube. 01. You didn’t give me the beef. There are no waiters in this noodle shop. The noodles are usually served by the customers themselves after the boss cooks them. On this day, when grandma came to serve noodles, she simply picked up her chopsticks and put all the beef in her bowl into another bowl, and then brought two bowls of noodles to her grandson. The shopkeeper shook his head violently when he saw this situation, but said nothing. Grandma smiled and let her grandson eat, but the grandson stared at grandma\’s bowl and frowned, \”Grandma, why didn\’t you give me the beef today?\” Grandma said that all her beef had been given to him before it was served, but The grandson didn\’t believe it and shouted: \”You\’re lying! You must have secretly hidden the beef!\” While shouting, he used chopsticks to dig into grandma\’s bowl, and he actually dropped all the noodles on the table! Grandma showed a helpless expression and said, \”You are really disobedient.\” She used chopsticks to put the noodles on the table back into her own bowl.inside. 02. I won’t sell my noodles to you. “Then you must have stolen it! How could you do this? I won’t eat it, I won’t eat it…” The surrounding diners looked at this little overlord in confusion. Grandma sighed, \”If you don\’t eat, you\’ll be hungry. Then I\’ll buy another bowl!\” Just as she was about to speak, the shop owner said coldly, \”I\’m sorry, I won\’t sell my noodles to you anymore!\” Grandma was helpless. He sat back and said, \”My beef has been given to you. I really didn\’t eat it secretly!\” At this time, the angry child was so angry that the veins on his neck were exposed. He stretched out his hand and hit both bowls of noodles on the table. He dropped and left angrily, with grandma following behind dejectedly. People around him cast condemning glances. This child was too domineering. How could this grandma dote on her grandson like this? Not long after, the child brought a man, who seemed to be the child\’s father, followed by the grandmother who was wiping her tears. As soon as the man entered the door, he went straight to the shop owner and said, \”Give me three bowls of noodles!\” Then he sat down angrily. 03. I had the final say over the noodles I bought, but the shopkeeper didn’t say anything and made three bowls of noodles for them. As soon as the three bowls of noodles were put down, the man put all the beef from two bowls of noodles in front of the child, \”Boss, come here!\” When the shopkeeper approached, the man knocked on the table and said, \”I bought the noodles with money, how do I like to eat them?\” Just eat whatever you want. I can give it to my son if I like it. You see, I gave it all to my son. We don’t want to eat your noodles anymore!” After saying that, he spit in the bowl! ! Then he dropped 100 yuan, took the child\’s hand and left. The shop owner was so angry that he cried. He said that when he refused to sell the third bowl of noodles to his mother-in-law and grandson, he hoped to make the child realize his mistake and also wanted the old man to know that it was wrong to spoil the child like that. He did not expect that he would be insulted. It is difficult to be a good person in this society. Do! Education expert Makarenko said: \”Giving everything to your children, sacrificing everything, even your own happiness, is the most terrible gift that parents give to their children.\” Chinese parents often give this terrible gift to themselves intact Children, the negative impact of this gift on the children is \”valuing intelligence over morality.\” The manifestation is that Chinese parents dote on their children and pay one-sided attention to the cultivation of intelligence. Top 10 \”typical\” forms of doting on children 1. Special treatment: The child has a superior status in the family and is given special care in every aspect, such as eating \”alone\” and putting good food in front of him for him to enjoy alone; being an \”only child\”, Grandparents can celebrate their birthdays, but their children have to buy big cakes and give gifts for their birthdays… Such children feel special and are used to being superior to others, and will inevitably become selfish, unsympathetic, and incapable of caring about others. 2. Pay too much attention to the fact that the family always takes care of him and accompanies him. During the New Year and festivals, relatives and friends would come and laugh and tease him endlessly. Sometimes the adults would sit in a circle around him in the center and welcome the children to perform performances again and again, with constant applause. Such children think that they are the center and have indeed become \”little suns\”. Everyone in the family would surround him, and he would have no peace all day and night. His attention would be extremely distracted, and his \”crazy behavior\” would be particularly serious. Even when guests came, it would be so noisy that it was impossible to talk. 3. Easily satisfy your children and give them whatever they want. Some parents also give young children and primary school students a lot of pocket money.It’s easier to be satisfied. Such children will inevitably develop bad characters such as not cherishing things, paying attention to material enjoyment, wasting money and not caring about others, and have no tolerance and spirit of enduring hardship. 4. A lazy life allows children to have no rules in eating, living, playing and studying. They can do whatever they want, sleep in, skip meals, wander around during the day, watch TV until late at night, etc. When such children grow up, they lack ambition and curiosity. They muddle along and do things haphazardly, starting and ending. 5. Pray and implore, for example, coaxing and begging the child to eat and sleep, and promising to tell the child three stories before finishing the meal. The child\’s mentality is that the more you beg him, the more coquettish he becomes. Not only is he unable to distinguish right from wrong, he cannot cultivate a sense of responsibility and a generous character, but the prestige of education is also completely lost. 6. Arrangement instead. So three- and four-year-old children still need to be fed and don’t know how to dress. Five- and six-year-old children still don’t do any housework and don’t understand the joy of labor and the responsibility of helping parents lighten their burdens. If everything continues like this, A capable and motivated child who is hard-working, kind, and compassionate is bound to be lost. This is by no means sensational. 7. Make a fuss. It turns out that \”newborn calves are not afraid of tigers\”, and children are not afraid of water, darkness, wrestling, or illness. After wrestling, I often get up quietly and continue playing. Why do some children become timid and cry a lot later? It is often caused by parents and grandparents. Children behave in panic when they are sick. The end result of pampering is that the children do not let their parents leave. These children are branded as cowards. 8. Children who are deprived of their independence will become timid and incompetent, lose self-confidence, develop a dependency mentality, and often become \”gatekeepers\” who are domineering at home and as timid as mice outside, causing serious character defects. 9. Fear of crying Because children have been accommodated since childhood, children will threaten their parents by crying, sleeping on the floor, or not eating when things don\’t go their way. Doting parents have no choice but to cajole, surrender, comply, and accommodate. Parents who are afraid of their children crying are incompetent parents; children who beat and scold their parents will become ruthless and rebellious children, sowing the seeds of selfishness, ruthlessness, willfulness and lack of self-control in their character. 10. Of course it is “impossible to teach” a child like this in person! Because he has no concept of right and wrong, and always has a \”protective umbrella\” and \”refuge\”, the consequences are not only distorted children\’s personalities, but also sometimes family disharmony. As the Chinese saying goes: \”A beloved child is unlucky, and a beloved child can hardly become a talent.\” This is a warning to parents on how to educate their children and how to give them a good moral education. Teaching children how to behave is the unshirkable responsibility of every parent. The development of children\’s good habits requires parents to first get rid of the misunderstanding of love. Children who are often over-spoiled take everything adults do for granted. They do not know how to consider others, and they do not know the hardships and efforts of adults. They are all self-centered, selfish, arrogant and perverse, do not know how to tolerate, let alone be wronged. They don\’t even know how to be polite, they have no respect for their elders, and they speak without restraint. Is this entirely the child\’s fault? Don\’t just complain about how other people\’s children are so sensible, but my child is a little bully. A child goes from being ignorant to becoming a bully andIt doesn’t happen in a day. When children get used to asking, they forget to be grateful. They always hope that others will continue to give, and they never think of what they have to do for their parents, grandparents, and grandparents. Therefore, if you love him, teach him how to share; if you love him, teach him how to be grateful!

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