We often say: \”We are similar in nature, but we are far apart in habits\”. Every child is a blank sheet of paper at the beginning of his life. The key is to see what color his parents paint for him. Therefore, the education method of the family is directly related to the upbringing of the children. Previously, a piece of news about \”a post-90s student who couldn\’t find a job and kicked his mother angrily\” went viral on WeChat Moments. According to reports, a boy born in the 1990s who has been ranked among the best in his class since he was a child passed the exam and studied finance, which is considered a popular major nowadays. What the boy didn\’t expect was that when he was looking for a job after graduating from college, he would encounter repeated setbacks. When looking for a job by major, I almost rank first in every written test, but I always get rejected during the interview. In order to prove himself, he applied for the civil service examination. He still ranked first in the written examination, but he still couldn\’t pass the interview. The successive blows made Xiaoli lose confidence, so he became addicted to the Internet every day and stayed at home for two years. His anxious mother kept whispering in his ears to find a job every day. Finally one day, the unbearable Xiao Li burst out and kicked his mother away, \”All the results I have now are caused by you! You just let I\’m studying, but I\’m not allowed to make friends…Look at yourself, who do you have a good relationship with?\” After reading this news, I found it incredible, and what\’s even more scary is whether there is such a potential person in my family. crisis? When we were young, the elders told us: \”If you don\’t suffer a small loss, you will suffer a big loss; if you don\’t suffer a small hardship, you will suffer a big suffering.\” Everyone wants their sons to be successful and their daughters to be phoenixes, but incorrect education methods are wrong~ See below Are you among the 6 types of mothers listed? Excessive guilt type We all know that in order to teach their children to be strict and let them experience frustration, German parents often say: \”You have to take responsibility for your own actions first!\” Some Chinese parents, when they let their children grow up freely, Full of anxiety and prone to guilt and self-blame. I still remember the scenes shared in some kindergarten mother groups – it was obvious that the child forgot to bring something, but he complained to the mother without any responsibility: \”It\’s all your fault, you forgot to bring it for me, so I was scolded by the teacher!\” and was reprimanded! At that time, you even apologized repeatedly: \”I\’m sorry, mom forgot in a hurry. I won\’t do it next time.\” This is to make the child feel less guilty, stop crying, and put the responsibility on yourself. Analysis: The mother feels guilty because there is not enough breast milk; the mother feels guilty because she has less time to spend with her children because she is busy with trivial matters; the mother feels guilty because she occasionally loses her temper with her children. Do you love your children to the extreme, and do you feel exhausted physically and mentally? However, this kind of dedication will hardly be rewarded in the long run. When children encounter problems that cannot be solved, they will only develop the character of blaming others and looking for objective reasons, unable to find the root cause of the problem, let alone make progress. Have you seen the extremely controlling type of \”Tiger Mom and Cat Dad\”? This type of mother regards \”obedience\” as the criterion for judging whether the child is good or bad. In the eyes of many mothers, the child does not follow the life plan you planned and does whatever he wants. Expressing one\’s own thoughts and making one\’s own decisions is \”rebellion\”. There are cases like this around me. Now when the children grow up, their mothers will even take care of them, and they have become \”mom\’s babies\” or thoughtless people. Their parents have a very selfish behavior, that is, they are particularly willing to impose their unfulfilled wishes onFor children, and even some parents whose careers are not going well, they devote all their energy in the second half of their lives to hoping that their children will succeed. In order to allow children to develop according to their own ideas, they turn a deaf ear to their physical and psychological conditions. As the saying goes, the core of education is \” dredging leads to unblocking, blocking leads to overflowing.\” If it is difficult for children to live out their own lives, they will feel very confused. Relying more on parents and asking for help is a vicious cycle in the long run. It can be said that it is a normal thing for mothers who are keen on comparison to compare. From the scores in college entrance exams to trivial matters, mothers always compare their children with friends, colleagues, and neighbors. What kind of stationery should I buy, what private tutoring classes should I attend, and even those who have money at home should show off their cars and houses. Of course, apart from material things, the most important thing is the comparison of achievements. When other people\’s children go to English cram schools, no matter whether they like it or not, they are not far behind; when the child gets into the top three in the class, he asks who is the first and second place, and asks to catch up with him next time. Unknowingly, the child becomes a reference for others and a weight for comparison! Gradually, through teaching by example, the child only focuses on points, only knows how to brag, does not know why he learns, and does not know how to apply what he has learned. \”Child slave\” type is a \”hot word\” that has become popular in recent years. It describes some parents who spend their whole lives working hard for their children, being busy for their children, making money for their children, and losing the reflection of their self-worth. Try to ask Ask yourself whether you still have time to truly belong to yourself after having a child? Many mothers often lament the huge difference before and after becoming a mother: after becoming a mother, she loses herself and becomes a satellite that only revolves around the child. Getting along with her husband There is less time, less contact with friends, less contact with society, and less leisure interests. For the sake of family and children, I have turned down most dinner parties and travel activities organized by my work unit, and even given up my originally brilliant career, regardless of Whether she is willing or forced, it seems that only such \”wholehearted\” dedication can be called a good and competent mother. But is this really the case? Not necessarily. First of all, this has serious side effects because it will increase the child\’s sense of lack. and guilt, resulting in a heavy and difficult relationship between children and money. It can be said responsibly that parents who have children do more harm than good to their children\’s growth. Overly worrying about raising babies, Chinese mothers seem to be much more nervous in recent years. For example, when taking babies out, Chinese mothers often keep nagging: Be careful when crossing the road to look at cars, wear more clothes so they don’t get cold, and don’t touch things… When we were young, we carried schoolbags and went to and from school alone. It’s hard to see inside. Looking around, all we see are parents and traffic jammed in front of the school gate waiting for their children to get out of school. Worry about their children is the tightest string in a mother’s mind that she can never get rid of, physically and mentally. Weary. Of course, various unsafe factors in society also add to the psychological burden of mothers. In fact, \”worrying everywhere is a curse.\” If you give your children positive hints, your children will be healthier and better. If you always give your children bad worries and hints, your children may really develop in a bad direction, and they may become tense and sensitive all day long. The overworked type is often seen around us.There are some scenes like this: doing laundry in the middle of the night, parents getting up early for their children in the dark, buying groceries and cooking at dawn, sending their children to school, carrying school bags for their children the whole time, and the children are relaxed and contented; when taking their children on the bus, their children sit on the bus While sitting in the seat, parents stood beside them; after buying delicious food, the children took care of themselves and ate, never thinking about the parents around them… Hardworking and simple, although this is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, it is also a virtue. The excellent qualities of a wife and loving mother, but the ending is always unsatisfactory. With all this, overworked parents can\’t help but sigh: We are selfless to our children, but why are our children becoming more and more selfish? Moreover, selfish children have a very strong desire to possess, and they must try their best to keep what they want. When they grow up, their selfish desires will continue to expand, and they may do anything to get something. The terrible consequences can be imagined. Therefore, overworking in this way will indirectly encourage children\’s sense of lack and selfishness, which will do more harm than good to their growth. Excellent parents, especially, let go of their children\’s ability to take care of themselves and take great care to cultivate their children\’s sense of independence. When your child is three years old, you should ask him to help you carry things when you go out on the street. When the child reaches the age of five or six, he should be asked to sweep the floor and clean the table, and be told how to save electricity. He can also be taught to organize his own room. When children go to school, tell them some simple safety knowledge, ask them to walk to school by themselves, come back by themselves after school, and ask them to save money on stationery. After school, the child is asked to go to the market to buy groceries to reduce the pressure on his parents. Let your children clean the toilet during the holidays and learn that smell and dirt are part of life. When children go to middle school, they have to manage their own living expenses. There is only so much money, and if you overspend, you will starve. The long road in life must be walked by him/herself, and the difficulties must be solved by him/herself. Especially for boys, for a future man, hard work is his foundation. Without the spirit of hard work, he is destined to have difficulty facing the increasingly competitive social competition. Allowing children to endure some hardships and hardships is a way to prepare them for a smooth and smooth life journey in the future, allowing them to fully realize their own value after entering society. Have you been shot on your way to becoming a mother?