• Mon. Dec 4th, 2023

This is the key to teaching excellent children even if you beat yourself to death.

It\’s the Spring Festival soon. Looking back on this year, it seems that many things have not been done, and the children have not seen any obvious progress, and time has slipped away quietly. But that\’s not the point. The point is, when we feel like nothing has been done, some people have quietly persisted in doing a lot in the past year. Dad Hang is my reader, and he shared with me the story of him and his son Xiaohang in the background. A few months ago, Xiaohang\’s paintings won the gold medal at the International Youth Painting and Calligraphy Art Exhibition. At the same time, three key high schools in a row extended an olive branch to Xiaohang, hoping that he could participate in the school\’s recruitment of art students. I looked at a daily painting sent by Xiaohang’s father. Although I am not a professional, I can still feel the aura that is compelling. I said: \”The child must be very talented.\” But Hang\’s father said: \”There is no talent. The child just started painting, and his level is similar to other children of the same age. However, we persisted for five years. In these five years, many All the children who studied painting with Xiaohang have quit…\” In the past six months, because I have to participate in competitions, the practice intensity has increased. The teacher requires that in addition to basic exercises three times a week, I also need to go out to sketch once, and go to art exhibitions to see paintings every day. The teacher was found by Hang’s father after asking around, and he took Xiaohang under his wing for five years. Xiaohang\’s family lives in the south of the city, and his teacher lives in the north. There are three classes a week, and Hang\’s father has to drive more than 20 kilometers across the entire city. Think about it: for five years, sending their children to class three times a week, rain or shine, is a perseverance that not every parent can achieve! Dad Hang said: \”I am sharing my story with you, not to show off. Although my child is very glorious now, and the parents around him praise him, only I know how much effort has gone into it.\” \”I really like what you said in your article. There is a saying that raising children is to work quietly and wait for the flowers to bloom. Now, seeing my son happy and confident, I really feel the joy of seeing the flowers bloom, and I want to share this joy with you.\” Another The story comes from the cleaning lady in her daughter’s kindergarten. She looks very young, works neatly, and her overall mental state is different from other aunties. After several small conversations, I learned that my aunt’s daughter took the college entrance examination the year before last and was admitted to the Department of Biomedical Engineering, Zhejiang University’s top major. She was an absolute top student. However, when talking about her daughter, the aunt does not have the pride of ordinary parents who are overachievers. Instead, she is very easy-going: \”I don\’t know the educational philosophy, but I just support my children in reading. For ordinary families like ours, there is nothing wrong with children reading more books.\” . So, after my daughter graduated from junior high school and was admitted to a key middle school in the city, I sold the old house and rented a house next to the school regardless of my family\’s objections. I took care of her daily life so that she could study with peace of mind.\” Last summer, my aunt\’s daughter He participated in the debate competition organized by the school and stood out. During the summer vacation, he went to France as the best debater for exchange. The aunt went to a kindergarten to find a part-time job, hoping to earn more money to supplement her daughter\’s travel expenses and living expenses abroad. From the smile on Auntie\’s face when chatting, I can see that although she works hard, she is full of motivation brought by hope! The days are full of progress, and the hardships don’t feel bitter. These two stories are very simple. The protagonists are ordinary children from ordinary families.. But it brought me a different touch. Xiaohang took the arts and sports route, and the aunt\’s daughter took the traditional exam-taking route. The two children are on different paths and are doing well. The reason why we are going well is, in addition to the children\’s own efforts, I think to a large extent, it is because their parents have chosen pure and continuous investment. Around me, there are many tangled parents who especially like to argue about the merits of innovative education and traditional education, and they often waver between Buddhist education and chicken children. Different from \”simple\” parents like the airline dad and the cleaning aunt, they have a common characteristic: they struggle less and do more. To be honest, those parents whose children have not grown much and are often in a state of anxiety after one or two years have not tried hard? no. But many times, our efforts are intermittent efforts. One day in a training class, I was stimulated by someone else\’s baby, and I secretly made up my mind to improve my child\’s learning. But when it comes time to help my children with homework, I often lose patience. I explain the problem-solving ideas twice before my children understand the essence, and I can\’t help but lose my temper. Subconsciously, I wish I could finish it quickly and leave some time for myself. I enroll my children in a bunch of interest classes, but I don’t have the perseverance to do exercises with them. Occasionally, I suddenly remember that I urged my children to practice, and I took photos and posted them on WeChat to move myself. When other children who insist on practicing stand out, they will say: \”We are more Buddhist and don\’t want to put too much pressure on the children. We should just learn to play and don\’t ask them to get any grades.\” I dare to give two hundred more piano lessons. Just to cultivate your child\’s sense of art, if you think about buying a smart speaker to play world famous music, the effect will not be much worse. If it were a true Buddhist education, it would actually be okay. After all, there are many educational paths in the world. Whether it is Buddhist style or chicken-based, different styles are suitable for different children. It is all personal choice and there is no distinction between superior and inferior. What I\’m afraid of is using Buddhism as a guise to cover up my lack of persistence and effort. When I get tired of accompanying my children to practice and tutoring them in homework, I define myself as a natural nurturer. When external pressure comes, I feel extremely anxious and worry about falling behind. Such swinging intermittent efforts are the source of parents\’ persistent anxiety and the main reason for the slowdown in children\’s growth! s=p(1+r)^n is a formula used to express compound interest in economics. r represents what you are doing and n represents time. When r is positive, time makes a difference beyond our imagination. Wu Xiaobo is a famous financial writer. When he started working in 1990, he was an ordinary reporter with a monthly salary of 60 yuan. Starting in 1996, Wu Xiaobo began to write his first book \”Peasant Genesis\”. He set a very simple flag for himself at that time: strive to write a book every year and buy a house every year. After that, Wu Xiaobo used amazing perseverance to write a book every year, and then used the royalties and savings to buy a house. At that time, real estate was not as popular as it is now, and buying a house was not particularly difficult. Today, Wu Xiaobo is one of the highest-paid writers in China. The island he bought in Qiandao Lake in Hangzhou for 500,000 yuan is now valued at tens of millions. I give this example not to discuss how to achieve financial freedom, but to let everyone feel the impact of compound interest thinking on a person\’s life.In a limited time, continuously invest your energy in a certain field, and the power of compound interest will bring you miracles. The same thinking also applies to education. Why do you say that? Because the core of compound interest thinking is time, not rate of return. Even a 1% return rate after 5 or 10 years is an astonishing figure. The problem is that many people simply can’t persist for 5 or 10 years. It’s not that they can’t do it in terms of ability, but that they don’t have the purity and patience. The same goes for education. In many cases, the immediate rate of return is not obvious. When Xiao Hang first learned to paint, Hang\’s father could not see his future results. When her daughter was very young, the cleaning lady never thought that she would be admitted to a prestigious school like Zhejiang University. They just worked hard without any distractions. So, what would you say is the secret to education? Keep doing simple things, that\’s all. I have a deep understanding of this myself. Except for a very few people with superior IQs, most children have similar talents, with similar starting points and different ending points. The difference comes from the persistence of their parents. Reading is the longest-lasting commitment in our family. We have been reading in the picture book library every day since our children were 3 years old. Until now, we have accumulated more than 3,000 picture books. In order to help her develop an interest in reading and develop reading habits, we parents have sacrificed a lot of rest time. Every night, I put down my phone honestly and read with my baby seriously, reading from Chinese to English. Since my English skills are not good, I often use my lunch break during the day to read the picture book I want to read with her in the evening several times, and repeatedly correct the pronunciation until it is standard. At the beginning, except that my child loved reading more than his peers, there was no special effect. Three years later, the gap has emerged. Now the child\’s independent reading ability is very strong. He can read Chinese and English picture books independently, has a vocabulary of more than several thousand, and can participate in children\’s story competitions with ease. On the contrary, a piano that does not hold up well is worse. Adults\’ attitude of neglecting practice will affect children. I didn\’t insist on it very much, so she only spent three days fishing and two days drying nets. Looking back now, I had a lot of distracting thoughts about my children learning piano. Basic exercises are very boring, and my child gets upset a lot. When I get annoyed, I will make excuses for myself: Why don’t I relax a little bit? I don’t want her to become a pianist. It would be nice if she could recognize the music and have a sense of music. As everyone knows, if you relax and forget it a few more times, you will completely slide down. Nowadays, children\’s piano hobby is basically abandoned, which can only increase regrets. This is the result of \”doing whatever you want\”. A few days ago, I had a gathering of old classmates and heard everyone complaining about the poor educational environment, too much pressure, and anxiety. Dissatisfied with the high screening mechanism and unable to escape from the high screening mechanism. I want to be Buddhist, but I can\’t achieve complete detachment. That reminds me of the two previous stories. Although they do not represent universal situations, they do provide a glimpse into the situation. If you think about it, vacillating intermittent efforts are the source of persistent anxiety for parents. Instead of spending time complaining and struggling, it is better to use the time complaining and struggling to do one thing well purely and persistently. In fact, all roads lead to Rome. No matter which path a child takes, the key to success is whether the parents are firm enough. Calm, pure and normalized efforts are what determine whether a child is outstanding or not.watershed. Finally, let me share with you a quote from the Gospel of Matthew: For the gate is narrow and the way is difficult, and there are few who find it. If you gain something one day, it must be because you have given something that others have not given!

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