• Mon. Dec 4th, 2023

To make your child better, say these 2 sentences to your child before going to bed every day

Due to the pressure of life, more and more families choose to become \”dual-income\” families. Many parents work during the day and go home at night. They leave early and come back late every day, leaving little time to spend with their children. As time goes by, many parents will painfully discover: Why are they and their children increasingly speechless? Why are the children not willing to take the initiative to communicate with me? I don\’t even know what my child is thinking now. It\’s really sad that the parent-child relationship is so estranged. Companionship is the best love for children. Speaking of the importance of companionship, I have to mention the famous macaque experiment in psychology. In 1959, psychologist Harlow conducted an experiment: he forcibly separated the newborn macaques from their mothers and brought them to the laboratory. In the laboratory, he prepared two surrogate mother monkeys for the monkeys. \”Mother made of wire\” and \”Mother made of velvet\”. The wire mother has a bottle hanging on her chest, but the velvet mother does not. According to the view that \”whoever has milk is a mother\”, many people may think that the baby monkey will get close to the wire mother monkey. But in fact, the little monkey is reluctant to leave its velvet mother unless it is extremely hungry, so it goes to the wire mother to drink some milk, and then hurries back to its velvet mother. Harlow\’s experiment overturned people\’s previous understanding of \”food is the first need\” and changed humankind\’s view of parenting. At the same time, it proves to us that the essence of love is definitely not simply to meet the physical needs of children, but also includes caressing, contact and psychological care for children. Dear parents, please ask yourself two questions: Will you accompany your children regularly? Do you often chat with your children? How to accompany children with high quality. Some excellent parent-child programs, such as \”Where Are We Going, Dad\” and \”Mom is Superman\” have made many parents pay attention to the problem of \”insufficient time to accompany their children\”, but they have ignored the \”quality of accompanying their children\”. As a result, many parents think that as long as they stay with their children, they are accompanying them, but this is not the case. Real companionship is communication between parents and children, emotional interaction, and emotional resonance, not just a commitment of time. For example, if you go home and sit on the sofa playing with your mobile phone, and then do your own thing with your children, and there is basically no communication during the period, this is called passing time together, and it is not \”accompanying\” at all. So, how should parents accompany their children with high quality? In fact, high-quality companionship does not mean being available anytime, anywhere. It pays attention to time and method. For example, you can insist on saying these two sentences to your child before going to bed every day (or at a fixed parent-child time). Not only will it enhance the relationship between parent and child, but the child will also become better and better day by day. Did you encounter anything happy today? Tell your mom/dad! Many parents love to constantly find fault with their children when they are \”accompanying\” them. When the child is doing homework, you dislike the child for being a picky eater; when the child is eating, you dislike the child for being a picky eater; when the child goes out to play, you dislike the child for being playful;… You might as well not accompany this kind of low-quality \”accompanying\”. Parents are dissatisfied when children are lectured, and neither adults nor children are happy. No one likes to be lectured. Children actually need more than correct \”big principles\”.Wants you and him to have some chatting time. You can ask your child, \”Have you encountered anything happy today? Tell mom/dad!\” During this period, no matter how childish the things the child says or how ridiculous the things they do, parents must not be condescending. \”Comments\” on children and gives advice on their behavior. Let your children open up and express their opinions. Keep at it and you will find that small talk can allow you to enter the inner world of your child and break the barrier between parents and children. Do you want to know what your parents did today and whether they are happy or not? Many parents think that their children are still young and ignorant, so they basically do not talk to their children about work matters, let alone communicate with their children about their mood. But in fact, sharing your work and mood with your children can not only help them understand your career, know what you do, and have a vague understanding of future career choices; it can also cultivate your children\’s empathy and let them Learn to care about your parents. At the same time, you can also share more about the problems you encountered at work and how you solved them. When you encounter \”unhappy\” things, how you deal with your emotions will subtly affect your children\’s ability to solve problems and deal with emotions. In addition, taking the initiative to share your work and life mood with your children can bring you closer to each other and deepen your close relationship with your children; your children will also trust you more and be more willing to take the initiative to tell you anything they encounter. Your own inner feelings and thoughts. Freud told a story in his \”Three Essays on Sexuality\”: A 3-year-old boy shouted in a dark room: Auntie, talk to me! I\’m afraid, it\’s too dark here. The aunt responded: What\’s the use of doing that? You can\’t see me. The boy replied: It doesn\’t matter, someone speaking brings light. Response is light. Without response, returning home is a desperate situation. When a child is growing up, nothing is more important than the company of his parents. Love needs to be expressed. Parents who are busy with work, please try to spend as much time with their children as possible, actively communicate with their children, listen to their inner voices, and do not ignore their feelings. Sweet parent-child time as a family is what children need.

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