• Sat. Dec 2nd, 2023

\”Wait a minute\” is a very disappointing thing for children

Wait a minute, let the child feel neglected and accompany her daughter downstairs in the community. There are a few children playing here and there, and a few adults sitting nearby. A little boy of three or four years old was running around happily. He seemed to have discovered something curious among the flowers. He ran towards his mother happily: \”Mom, come and see.\” Her mother was chatting with someone. Without even looking at the child, he said casually: \”Wait a minute.\” The child had to go back to the flowers. After waiting for a while, the mother still didn\’t come. He ran to the mother again and tugged on her clothes: \”Mom, follow me quickly. I\’ll go take a look.\” The mother turned to look at him and said, \”Wait a minute.\” The child had no choice but to walk away again in disappointment. The boy studied among the flowers for a while, and seemed to still want to figure out what the problem was. Then he ran to his mother: \”Mom, just come with me and have a look.\” The mother turned around and yelled at the child: \”Scream Wait a minute, don’t you see your mother talking?” The little boy burst into tears: “I’ve been waiting for a long time, and I’ve called you three times.” At this time, the mother finally stopped talking to others. Chat: \”You kid, why do you have so many things to do? Walking around, what are you looking at?\” The kid seemed really sad and said, \”You don\’t play with me at all.\” Then he ran away crying. Mom I had no choice but to chase the child back. Seeing this scene, I really feel sorry for the child who has been ignored. That sentence of \”wait a minute\” shattered his hope again and again. He was full of joy and wanted to share it with his mother, but he didn\’t get the response he wanted. Finally left disappointed. If the child is always told to wait, then the mother will be disappointed in the child. Asking the child to wait and wait seems to be responding to the child, but in fact it is perfunctory. When a child calls for his parents, he is full of joy and longs for a response, but if he only gets a perfunctory or even impatient response, he will be disappointed and frustrated. If children are ignored repeatedly, they will feel that they are unimportant and ignored. Over time, self-doubt will also arise, self-confidence will be hit, and even develop into low self-esteem, which will affect future interpersonal interactions. Wait, let the child lose interest. A friend talked to me about her son\’s loss of interest in reading, and she felt very regretful. Her son loved listening to stories when he was a child, and also liked to make up his own stories. When he was more than two years old, his son came to his mother with a storybook: \”Mom, tell me a story.\” She was very busy, so she said to her son: \”Wait a minute, mom is busy.\” For the first time, her son patiently Waiting aside; after waiting for a while, seeing that his mother still didn’t tell him a story, his son said to his mother again: \”Mom, tell me a story.\” The mother who was busy in front of the computer said again: \”Wait a minute, Mom. The work is not done yet.\” The son lowered his head in disappointment and read a book by himself. After waiting for a while, the son said again: \”Mom, I\’ve been waiting for a while, tell me a story quickly.\” The busy mother still didn\’t pay attention. The child\’s appeal: \”Wait a moment, mom will be finished in a moment.\” Seeing her mother staring at the computer screen, still busy, the son, who was repeatedly rejected, had no choice but to walk away. In this way, sometimes the mother is busy, sometimes she is too tired, and she casually asks the child to wait. Time and time again, the child keeps waiting.Being rejected and being prevaricated, in the end, the child had no choice but to walk away in despair. Those children who have been waiting for their mothers no longer come to their mothers to read storybooks, but play with iPads when they have time. They gradually stop loving reading and lose their interest in reading. Now my friend regrets it very much. If she had said less to her son and waited, responded to him in time, or given him a better answer instead of simply and rudely treating the child\’s demands, then the child would not have lost it so early. Reading interest. When I said this, my friend looked into the distance with tears in his eyes, as if he saw the disappointed back of his son when he was a child. Yes, not only is the interest in reading lost, many parents keep trying to prevaricate their children by saying \”wait a minute\”. The children ask their fathers to accompany them when skating, and their fathers repeatedly say \”wait a minute\”. Children who have waited many times finally give up. The child asks his mother to accompany him to draw, but the mother repeatedly tells him to wait. Children who cannot wait for their mother to accompany them eventually stop loving painting. If he wants his father to play basketball with him, his father tells him more than once, wait, wait, wait, because the child no longer likes playing basketball. It is easy to say \”wait\” from mom and dad, but for the children who have been waiting, they are disappointed again and again, and disappointed with their parents. As for the hobbies that I was originally interested in, I gradually lost interest because there was no proper guidance and guidance. Educator Spencer said: If interests and enthusiasm are developed smoothly from the beginning, most people will become talents or geniuses. Little Spencer, the nephew who was raised by Spencer, became interested in nature when he was a child. He always came to Spencer for help as soon as possible. He always responded to the child immediately and gave him timely guidance. With his help, under his education, the child grew up to become a botanist. It\’s easy to say wait, but it\’s sad to disappoint your child and lose interest. Wait a minute, let the child learn to procrastinate when he goes to a friend\’s house for dinner. The meal is already prepared. The friend starts to call his 5-year-old daughter to come for dinner. The child says wait a minute. After a while, he calls her again and still says he will come after a while. , when she called her for the third time, the child still didn\’t come. It wasn\’t until the fourth time that her friend almost yelled at the child angrily that she finally came. Friends began to complain to us, saying, \”This child just loves to procrastinate.\” From the way friends interact with their children, we can see that children\’s procrastination is not innate. This friend also likes to tell his child to wait a minute, and the child says: \”Dad, get me some soy sauce.\” My friend could obviously take it easily, but the friend who was busy chatting with us said, \”Wait a minute.\” After the child finished eating, she asked her father to turn on the TV for her. The friend could have turned it on for her right away, but he said, \”Wait a minute;\” Asked him to open the water bottle and he said wait. The child said, \”Dad, please fix the toy for me.\” He didn\’t even look at it, just said wait a minute. Parents are their children\’s first and lifelong teachers. Friends always say wait a minute, and children have learned to say wait a minute. But behind the words of children, they are procrastinating. When something happens, I don\’t always solve it immediately. I always wait to deal with it. Over time, I develop the habit of procrastination. When parents easily tell their children to wait and repeatedly break their promises, this is a form of procrastination. Children are always treated like thisI have also learned to be lax about time, and just say \”wait a minute\” when things happen. I like to procrastinate, and my work efficiency becomes low. When I grow up, I will become a person who is not punctual, untrustworthy, and has no sense of time. Just saying \”wait a minute\” often leads to such educational effects that the gain outweighs the loss. If a friend can not let the child wait when his daughter asks for help, but can provide help in time, or work with the child to find a solution, then the child will also learn the parent\’s efficiency and punctuality, instead of just waiting too. Wait a minute and learn to procrastinate. Japanese writer Masaharu Taniguchi said: A child\’s words and deeds are like a mirror, reflecting the spirit of the family and parents. Therefore, if you want your children to be well, you must first set an example yourself. The daily words and deeds of parents or educators have the strongest persuasive power in cultivating children\’s personality. Every time you say wait, you are setting an example to your child. You hope your child will not procrastinate, and you should not always ask your child to wait. Keeping waiting will make children disappointed and fearful. When children need their parents\’ response most, parents often say \”wait a minute\”, which means they fail to respond to their children in time. At that time, children need their parents\’ care the most. The healthy growth of every child is inseparable from the active attention and care, love, support, respect, trust and acceptance of parents. These are the psychological nutrients that children rely on for their growth, and every parent cannot ignore them. Parents who repeatedly tell them to wait will make their children disappointed and fearful. Ed Tronick, a professor of psychology at the University of Manchester, once conducted a very famous experiment-the still face experiment. In the experiment, he asked a mother to interact normally with her child. As required, the mother sat down to play and interact with her 1-year-old baby. She greeted the baby, actively responded to the baby\’s various requests, and interacted with him with eyes and smiles. At this time, the communication between mother and child was very pleasant, and the baby was very happy. Then, start the still face test. No matter how the child interacts with the mother, the mother remains expressionless, and the child begins to be confused, curious, and frightened, and eventually breaks down and cries. Just like every child above who was repeatedly asked to wait by their parents, they were disappointed, helpless, and finally gave up, and even learned to behave the same as their parents. The experiment has proved the impact of parents\’ emotions on children, and also proved the consequences for children of parents who repeatedly ignore their children\’s appeals. The children in that experiment had rapid heartbeats and increased stress hormones during the hours when their mothers were unresponsive. Those children who try to elicit responses again and again like babies fail repeatedly and feel sad and helpless, but they come back again with love for their parents. If things go on like this, children who are repeatedly perfunctory with the words \”wait a minute\” cannot get comfort from the outside world. Those children who are often ignored have a low sense of value and self-esteem, are prone to self-denial, and are extremely lonely mentally. This is what parents least want to see, but some parents unknowingly push their children into the spiritual abyss. Let the child wait, but don’t say “wait a minute” often. 1. Respond to the child in a timely manner when the child needs it. Singer Chen Meiling, who has trained three children to be admitted to Stanford University and published many educational books, said: \”When my children ask me questions, I will never say wait a minute.\” Sometimes when she is cooking, the children willCome and ask: \”Mom, Mom, why is the sky blue?\” At this time, although she can\’t answer, she will turn off the fire and say to the child: \”You asked very well. Let\’s go together later.\” Find answers.\” Children are naturally curious and like to explore. They will ask their parents about things they don’t know, but sometimes busy parents ask their children to wait. But after waiting, maybe the parents forget, or maybe the child loses interest. Over time, the child\’s desire to explore disappears, just like the child who lost interest in reading mentioned above. Therefore, when children ask questions or ask for help, parents try to put down what they are doing and respond to their children in a timely manner, so that the children can feel that their parents value them. 2. After asking your child to wait, be sure to keep your promise. Today\’s work pace is very busy. Sometimes, parents really can\’t put down what they are doing all at once, and they have to wait for their children. At this time, you can first say sorry to the child and tell the child the specific waiting time, five minutes or ten minutes, so that the child has a concept of time, instead of emptyly saying wait again and again. When the time is up, keep your promise and respond promptly or help or accompany your child. In this way, the children can not only understand the busyness of their parents, but also let the children have the habit of punctuality and commitment, instead of imitating their parents\’ procrastination and perfunctory behavior. 3. Say wait, there is a way. In the variety show \”Incredible Mom\”, while eating, Hu Ke\’s son Xiao Yu\’er was thinking about his new toy. He asked his mother to assemble the new toy into a \”robot\” \”now, immediately, immediately\”. After being opposed by her mother, Xiao Yu\’er was unwilling to wait and was about to lose her temper. Looking at his son who was losing his temper, Hu Ke said gently but firmly: I know you are very fond of transforming toys. You really want to turn it into a robot with weapons, but you have to wait until after eating. This is the rule. You have to Follow the rules. At this time, Hu Ke did not simply tell the child to wait, but patiently reasoned with his son and told his son that he understood his desire to play, but that he needed to wait. After such persuasion, the son understood what his mother meant and was willing to wait until after eating before playing with toys. Therefore, saying wait and using appropriate methods will make it easier for children to accept it, and they will not feel ignored or lose interest in what they like. Psychologist Herbart said: \”Children need love, especially when the child does not deserve love.\” When the child needs you, no matter when, don\’t make the child wait again and again, please give the child the love he needs.

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