• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

What happened to those children who cried and refused to go to kindergarten?

A mother\’s question brought back painful memories in me. \”Mom, my child just doesn\’t want to go to kindergarten, what should I do?\” asked an anxious mother. \”My child went to the kindergarten near our home for a while and adapted well. This kindergarten did not meet our requirements, but we have no other better choice for the time being. Both of us work, and the old man cannot drive, so there is no way to go. Find a kindergarten further away. The teaching and life in this kindergarten are very boring, and the children cannot live happily and intelligently there. Every morning when I see the children’s reluctant eyes, hugging our laps and not wanting to go out, I blame myself and feel guilty: My child doesn’t want to go to kindergarten, should I agree?” I did a simple survey among my friends, and the basic conclusion is: public kindergarten is difficult to enter, there are too many rules after entering, and children have little freedom; private kindergarten is too expensive, teachers Turnover is high and teacher quality varies. The best kindergartens are top private schools, but the tuition is really unaffordable. This question reminds me of the scene when Edamame first started going to kindergarten. Maodou first went to a public kindergarten near her home. At first, I talked with the director and felt pretty good, so I sent the edamame in with confidence. But from the first week, I gradually realized that this kindergarten was actually not suitable for children\’s development. Two days before going to school, Maodou cried and didn\’t want to go. I thought it was normal. A week later, he was still crying and unwilling to go. I went to talk to the teacher, and the teacher said: \”It depends on each child, and it is normal. Some children will last until half a month.\” Although I was suspicious, I reluctantly convinced myself to take another look. The next thing gave me new thoughts. That was when the kindergarten teacher asked me to stay after school and wanted to talk to me alone. She said to me in a rather accusatory tone: \”Modou doesn\’t follow the teacher\’s instructions very well. Other children will be obedient and pick up the bowls and chopsticks to eat, but he just waits there in a daze.\” Am I being careless? I could hear the dissatisfaction in his tone. I immediately made some judgments in my mind. Edamame is from the end of July and is the youngest child in the class. Moreover, he is on the short side, so he is a little timid when facing other tall children. In a child\’s logic, he thought, \”If I can\’t hear this, it won\’t happen.\” Moreover, facing the majestic teacher, he couldn\’t remember that he could say \”no\”. Even if he can say \”no\” verbally, he would probably not dare to face the stranger, the teacher. I felt sorry for Edamame for a second. Then she didn\’t answer and asked the teacher, \”What did you do?\” The teacher was a little dazed. She probably didn\’t expect that I would ask her this question. She said, \”We usually repeat it three times before we can\’t take care of it. There are too many children, so just wait until he learns it slowly. In the beginning, it was normal for him to adapt slowly.\” I said \”um\”. The mind is working rapidly. I can understand the teacher\’s frustration: in a public kindergarten, three teachers need to take care of thirty or forty children, which is really too busy. However, we cannot ignore the correct approach to this matter just because the teacher is busy. The correct way to deal with this matter is: no longer use language to ask the child repeatedly, it is useless. Teachers should observe the children’s eating habits for two days.Then put the child who is not eating well and refuses instructions to sit next to you; let the child who is eating well sit a little further away, just enough that the teacher can see it from the corner of his eye. Then, he personally demonstrated to the children around him who were not eating well what it meant to pick up the bowl and chopsticks to eat according to the instructions, how to put the food in the mouth, and how to clear the bowl and chopsticks. With personal encouragement from teachers, these children can make a smooth transition. At the same time, those children who can eat well themselves also receive the attention they deserve from their teachers. The shortage of teachers in public kindergartens should actually be dealt with through these methods of \”multi-tasking, paying special attention to those who have problems, and paying general attention if there are no problems.\” I looked at the slightly dissatisfied look on this little teacher who was born in the 1990s. I kept silent and just nodded to deal with it. I had my own idea in mind. When we got home, Maodou\’s father and I hit it off and decided to change Maodou to a kindergarten. However, there is no satisfactory kindergarten near my home, so I can only search within a wider radius and rely on inquiries from acquaintances. So, during this period, should we insist on going to kindergarten? When Maodou cried and hugged my thigh and refused to leave, the old man relented and begged for mercy, saying that he had promised his grandson that he would not have to go. Maodou Dad and I nodded, and the decision was still: stick! hold! go! Why do we give such seemingly inhuman answers? I remembered something that happened to a relative of mine two years ago. The child is dissatisfied with the environment, but how long can you help him? My relatives are somewhat financially successful, but only modestly and far from wealthy. His only daughter, a sweet baby, is a sophomore in high school. She complains with tears every day about how inhumane the college entrance examination is: she has to memorize formulas that have no practical meaning, she has to write routine eight-legged essays that cannot measure her literary talent, and she has to work as a junior high school student who will never be exposed to them in the future. How much force does the ball receive? The delicate girl said that even if she passed the college entrance examination, what would be the use? These things would never be used. The Jiaojiao girl went to cry to her father. His father thought about it and realized that what his daughter said made sense. The college entrance examination system was indeed very rigid. It\’s better to follow my daughter\’s wishes and avoid the college entrance examination. Dad sells the pot and sends you to study abroad! It\’s not a bad idea, but selling an improved house to an old couple is real. Now my daughter is happy. She is going to deal with the relatively humane college application process. Compared with her classmates who have thousands of troops to cross the single-plank bridge, it is much easier. However, after spending more than one million yuan studying abroad for four years, she found that she and her classmates were still on the same starting line for job hunting—the starting salary was not much higher than that of her classmates, but they still had to start at the grassroots level. She began to complain: The working environment in China is so inhumane. Look at the office design of country XX, and look at how the jobs in our country are 996 (starting at 9 a.m., getting off work at 9 p.m., working six days a week), why do we The interpersonal relationships in the country\’s offices are so complicated… His father is already old and unable to do what he wants. He spreads his hands and says: My daughter, my father\’s abilities are limited. I really can\’t help you this time. Okay, this story is paused here. Let’s go back to Maodou’s kindergarten change incident. Later, fate came together and I happened to be working as a teacher, and Maodou moved to an international kindergarten. But I want to tell you: What happened to those children who failed to attend international kindergartens? Those who did not attend international preschoolWhat happened to the children in the kindergarten? There is a neighbor\’s child who is in the same class as Maodou and is not very satisfied with this kindergarten. But public kindergartens, you know, are cheaper. Her family works both ways, so she can\’t pick her up or go to other kindergartens. So I stayed in this kindergarten. After a while, I asked her: \”How is the child doing?\” She said happily: \”Fortunately, the child has a strong adaptability and is completely fine now. Although the teacher is average, I will make up for it when I go home. , the child is developing quite well.\” I saw her child playing with Maodou, and I really couldn\’t tell the difference between going to a public kindergarten and going to an international kindergarten. Both children are equally smart, lively, empathetic and have bright personalities. So, why did Maodou’s dad and I unanimously decide that regardless of whether we could find the best kindergarten nearby, Maodou must stick to the public kindergarten? Although public parks cannot meet our high standards, they definitely meet the standards and can ensure children\’s safety and basic needs. Assuming that a good international kindergarten scores 90 points, then a public kindergarten will definitely score above 70 points. There are dissatisfactions everywhere in life. Today we can help Maodou solve the kindergarten problem because Maodou\’s father and I work hard and have the financial strength to afford the tuition. What about the unsatisfactory primary education in the future? What about the unsatisfactory campus environment? What about the inhumane college entrance examination? Do they all rely on us to solve and avoid problems for him? I feel distressed when I see Edamame’s tears, but I also know that this is the current situation we are in. I want Maodou to experience this kind of dissatisfaction, and then learn to accept this dissatisfaction with a calm mind, and also accept the ordinaryness of his parents. △The first step is to accept that the current situation is unsatisfactory, and then to break through. I talked about relatives with Maodou dad and asked him what he thought. He said: \”It is his own responsibility to find a way to break out of the siege, not his parents\’.\” If we can help the kindergarten, we may not be able to help the elementary school. Even if we can help the elementary school, we cannot help him throughout his life. Throughout his life, there were always times when he was disappointed with his surroundings. At this time, if his previous setbacks can cultivate his calm temperament, he will not be like my relative\’s daughter who spent her parents\’ pension money and was at a loss when she encountered the unsatisfactory new environment. If you are a wealthy person, treat this as if I didn’t say it. But you reading this article are just like me, right? Why don’t we also endure the unsatisfactory life and long for the surrounding environment to become better? You don’t have to feel guilty for not helping your children escape to a better environment, go to a better kindergarten, or go to an international private school. You should squat down, wipe away your child\’s tears, and say to him, \”I know, you may not like this environment. Mom and dad are temporarily unable to help you change to a better one, but it doesn\’t matter, let\’s see, even if In this way, how can we adjust our mentality and what else can we do…\” The adversity in kindergarten is also a valuable setback for children. Even if your child does not go to the best kindergarten, as a parent, you have fulfilled your responsibility and should be calm and content with it.

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