• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

What is more tiring than stay-at-home moms are stay-at-home grandmas

\”Which parent knows whether tomorrow\’s class will be Monday or Wednesday?\” \”What time will I arrive at school tomorrow afternoon?\” \”Does any parent in the group know what these two math questions mean?\” What do you think? Is this a daily conversation among parents in the class group? –No! This is the child\’s grandma or grandma asking other parents in the class. You will definitely be curious: Why do parents not ask which day their children will attend classes, but let the elderly do it? Why should the elderly be sent to school for duty? Why does the child not ask the teacher when he can\’t do his homework, but instead asks other parents in the class for help? Behind all these \”whys\” lies a very common social phenomenon – grandmothers and grandmothers assume the nurturing and guardianship responsibilities of the original parents. Every morning on the way to take my son to school, many grandmothers and grandmothers who know me will say hello to me. The same encounters also happen on the way home from school every day when picking up children, in front of steamed bun shops where they take their children to buy breakfast, in markets and supermarkets, and in the community square where they go downstairs to play with their children in the evening. Sometimes I often laugh at myself and say that my life now is like an old man with a grandson or granddaughter. ——When I laugh at myself like this, I realize that there are already too many old people working “year-round” to help their children, especially grandmothers. Compared with the hard work of stay-at-home mothers, the ones who are more tiring are actually the stay-at-home grandmothers. What is the “job” of a stay-at-home mom? In most people\’s minds, stay-at-home mothers are only capable of doing housework, buying food, cooking, and washing clothes. They also serve as senior home economics and tutors responsible for their children\’s studies, as well as transporting them to and from hobby classes and cram schools. How did you get the “job” of being a stay-at-home grandma? Most people simply don\’t realize that they are allowing their elderly parents to assume the role of a \”free nanny\” or even a \”paid domestic helper\”, and this role is often taken lightly and taken for granted. It seems that it is part of this role to go home from work every day and eat at grandma or grandma\’s house. When I come home late after working overtime, grandma and grandma are responsible for homework. Why are there more and more stay-at-home grandmas? \”His father is very busy at work. Every morning he goes out to school, but his father hasn\’t gotten up yet. By the time his father gets home from work, it\’s already 22 o\’clock, and the child has already fallen asleep.\” \”His mother doesn\’t live here. I came to see my child once. Every time I came, he always complained that he was tired. After eating, he would lie down and fall asleep. His mother never cared about the child’s homework. His mother didn’t care about it, so we had to take care of it. For this, his mother even helped us. There is an APP on the mobile phone that notifies the school of homework and teaches us how to read and use it.\” \”Her mother and her father come to my place for dinner after work every day. After seeing that the child has almost finished his homework, the couple goes back to their own home. \”I have to go to work early the next day, so I can\’t help it.\” \”Grandpa is responsible for buying groceries and picking up and dropping off my granddaughter. I\’m responsible for cooking and cleaning up the house. It was fine when I was in kindergarten, but now I\’m in elementary school. We are really old with this child\’s homework. It’s because tutoring is not available, and her parents leave early and come home late. Not only do they have to spend money to send their children to school.” Before I resigned, my mother-in-law and mother alsoI take turns picking up the kid from school, cooking him a dinner, and then waiting until I get home from get off work at 19 o\’clock to pick him up again. During those years, I kept reminding myself: except for picking up the children from school and being responsible for the children’s dinner, which I really couldn’t do, I couldn’t leave other things to the elderly. But in practice, we found that this is really just a very ideal state. For example: the winter and summer vacations add up to 3 months each year, and 1/4 of the year when we are working during the day, grandma or grandma can only \”go to work\” to take care of the children and take care of at least two meals. Another example: when you work overtime at night or on weekends, and you are as tired as a dog after finishing your work, our first reaction is to think, \”It doesn\’t matter, we can let the elderly take over the shift anyway. They are fine anyway.\” We always think that it is natural for us to ask our parents to do something for us, whether it is raising children across generations, buying groceries, cooking, washing clothes, or even going out to play with our children or taking them to class… Anyway, as long as we are tired ourselves If you are tired or want to be lazy, grandma or grandma can always call you. Think about it carefully, these old people have been working hard for almost 40 years, and they still have to spend the last period of their lives that could be completely theirs. Why? Just rely on the word \”should\”? I don\’t think it should be. This should not be done not only because I think they are too tired, but also because I feel that sooner or later, such inter-generational raising will cause conflicts between the three families, and the children will not be able to distinguish who is the parent, who is the grandmother and who is the child. grandmother. They silently shouldered the burden of raising their own children. While trying to adapt to the rhythm of this era, they also had to adapt to the accusations from their children that they had different opinions on how to educate their children. In our community, I am one of the few stay-at-home mothers who often takes her children to school entrances, food markets, and supermarkets. This was true even when I had a full-time job, so I know many children of the same age in the community. grandma or grandma. When they see me, they always chat about family matters and complain about the difficulty of raising their grandchildren, but they rarely mention their own children. From the words of these grandmothers, I can feel that they are trying their best to understand the difficulty of their children working hard in society, and I can also feel that they have shouldered too many things that parents need to worry about for the next generation. They have no entertainment activities of their own, no time at their disposal, and they have to deal with the conflict of intergenerational parenting from time to time. They live cautiously and cautiously, and will not \”resign\” willfully even if they are offended by their children. The only thing they can hope for is \”just wait until the grandchildren grow up.\” Here I want to say sincerely to all the \”year-round\” grandmothers and grandmothers: As children, we are working hard It allows you to \”retire\” earlier, but it may make you wait too long. As parents, we really want to find a job that can not only make money to support our family, but also support our children in old age, but the reality is often not so perfect. Our children seem to live in a place where they have adequate food and clothing and abundant educational resources. But the right to choose is still on our way to fight. We actually all agreeIt’s not easy, but it’s even harder for you. Because you are here, we can go out to work hard and settle down without any worries.

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