• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

What should I do if my child doesn’t take the initiative to learn?


Oct 1, 2023

Recently I came into contact with a parent who said that she is a mother who understands \”education\” very well. Since the birth of my child, I have been studying various educational materials and learning various educational methods, but for some reason, my son has never been interested in learning. Every time, I earnestly educate him to take the initiative to study, and help him plan his study time and arrange his study plan. Although the child always agreed every time, he still dragged his feet when the time came, relying on his mother to pull him back and forth. In the end, she couldn\’t bear it anymore, so she had a big argument with her child. During the process, the words were fierce. She thought that the child was not active enough in learning and had no self-discipline at all. However, the child felt that the mother was too busy and restrained herself… In fact, we will It is found that many behaviors and habits of children need to be cultivated by their parents, especially in the learning process. Children are used to being afraid of difficulties and always want to give up. As parents, we cannot let it go. Not only should we take on the responsibility of supervision and guidance to help children overcome the difficulties and obstacles on their growth path, but they should also become role models for their children, influencing their behavior and promoting their growth by changing their past slack educational habits. In particular, the following four educational habits occur almost every day: 01. Always be your child\’s \”sparing partner.\” I believe that many parents have been tortured to the point of insanity by their children\’s \”procrastination.\” For example: the alarm clock rang at seven o\’clock in the morning, and he was still fast asleep. I ran into the room, picked him up and pulled him into the bathroom. He was fine, squinting and waiting for us to squeeze out toothpaste and wash his face. After finally tidying him up and pushing him to the dining table for breakfast, he saw that it was \”difficult to choose\” between eggs and milk, and he had to peel the shells and stuff them into his mouth… Every morning, the scene was no different from a war, and we couldn\’t help but feel Countless times I have wondered: Who is going to school? Why is the parent more nervous than him? Every time they see their children being slow and not learning, their parents are more anxious and anxious than they are, wanting to do everything for their children and take care of everything. But in the end, the more the child urged, the slower he became. Behind this is often the over-dominance of parents, which deprives him of the initiative to do things, destroys his motivation, and makes him accustomed to relying on his parents. Only by \”bearing\” the blind worry about your child, being willing to be your child\’s \”trainer\” instead of \”commanding\”, give him more autonomy and let him make decisions. Only then do children learn to be responsible for themselves, take control of their own lives, slowly learn to manage themselves, and become conscious and self-disciplined. 02 Is it \”reasoning\” or \”paying attention to behavior\” \”How many times have I told you to put things back where they belong after use\”; \”Children who don\’t study well will not have a good future\”; \”Can you stop dawdling around?\” \”… Do you often feel that the older your children are, the harder it is to teach them? Many little things have been said countless times, but they neither listen nor do them, as if they are deliberately going against you. Actually, no. This is our \”preaching behavior\” falling into the \”over-limit effect\”. In people\’s psychology, if they receive too much, too strong, or too long external stimulation, they will easily develop instinctive rebellion. The reason is very simple. If just \”preaching\” can influence a person, then there will not be so many educational conflicts. An effective way to teach is to use \”doing\” instead of \”saying\”. Principles to be masteredThe truth is: if we are willing to do something, we will show it to our children through actions; if we are unwilling to do something, we will use \”results\” to let our children experience the \”consequences\”. Toys that are discarded everywhere will naturally not be found the next time they play with them; if they are late for school and are late for school, they will naturally be \”punished\” by the teacher… At this time, use simple principles and patient understanding to let the children Realize the benefits of \”self-discipline\”. 03 Pay attention to children\’s \”interests\”, not just learning. There is a \”snowball effect\” in children\’s growth: as long as they have enough interest and investment, children will also have amazing performance and achievements in other aspects. He can put his mind and energy into the things he likes. Similarly, as long as he returns to study, he will also demand himself and \”force\” himself to devote himself to it. The energy and attitude towards his interests are the key to making him self-disciplined. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! A writer once said: \”People are shocked in various ways, some on the spine, some on the nerves, some on morality and feelings. However, the strongest and most lasting one is on personal dignity. “Feeling respected is the source of a person’s motivation. It’s not that children don’t have self-discipline, but that they lack the motivation to self-discipline. Respect children as adults, let them participate in the management of family and life, assume the responsibility of self-management, and form a closed loop of self-responsibility instead of \”I am good for you\” or \”I arrange for you to do it\”. 04 Is it “teach one thing and do another” or “lead by example” Someone once summarized the common points of 68 high-scoring academics across the country. One of them is: \”Parents read in front of their children, no matter whether they are true or false.\” Children\’s self-discipline is not \”forced\”, but is guided by parents\’ example. I have seen news like this: An ordinary mother who moves bricks at a construction site, in order to give her son better living conditions, always spends two or three hours after get off work every day reading, studying, and preparing for the adult undergraduate exam. With a junior high school education, she often feels headaches and frustration when faced with alien-like English. But when she thought of her son, she listened to the recording over and over again and practiced speaking, trying to correct her poor English pronunciation. As long as she has time, she will look for expert courses online, take notes while listening, and keep reviewing them. Her progress and hard work can be seen clearly in her son\’s eyes. That year, my mother successfully obtained an adult undergraduate diploma, and he also successfully entered the top ten in the school and entered a provincial key high school. I particularly recognize a sentence: \”Parents are the originals, and children are copies. If you want a child with excellent self-discipline, you have to see whether the original parents are self-disciplined enough.\” Good education is not about constantly urging children to run from behind, but first Take care of yourself and grow up with your children. Only by setting an example through one\’s own behavior can the seeds of self-discipline be quietly implanted in children\’s hearts, take root, sprout, and bear fruit.

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