• Mon. Dec 4th, 2023

What should I do if my child is timid, unwilling to talk, unsociable, and cries?

Xunzi said: \”No one can live without a group.\” Peer relationship is a kind of interpersonal relationship established and developed in the process of communication between peers or individuals with the same psychological development level. It plays an important role in children\’s self-development and social adaptation. plays an important role. However, in today\’s society, children may encounter such problems in their interactions with peers. One day, Qianqian, who was studying in a primary school in Nanjing, tentatively asked her mother: \”Can I change my phone watch to a different brand?\” Facing her mother With a puzzled expression, she explained: \”If I use this brand of phone watch, I will have no friends!\” A mother found that her child was always isolated when playing with peers in the community. After playing for a while, my child \”left the group\”, ran to the side, and started playing by himself. Whether the child himself is worried about not having friends, or the parents are worried about their child being isolated, these may point to the problem of the child being \”unsociable\”. So, as parents, what should we do? What are the video tutorials on children\’s sensory integration training methods? 80 lessons 80GB If children are \”unsociable\”, parents can guide them from these 4 aspects: respect nature, positive guidance. First, look at whether it is reasonable to define the child\’s behavior as unsociable. This is Take into account the child\’s innate characteristics. Many parents feel very worried when they see that their children are introverted and withdrawn, do not like group activities, or appear particularly passive and timid when interacting with peers, fearing that their children will not be gregarious and will affect their physical and mental health development. In fact, some children are naturally introverted and like a quiet and solitary environment. They like to do their own things and have their own world. However, they would feel uncomfortable playing with others and be relatively passive. For such children, interacting with others is a process that consumes energy, and being alone is the most natural and best way to accumulate energy. For this type of child, do not deliberately suppress or change his natural attributes. Parents should not force their children to give up their own preferences, cater to their partners, and join the group. They should maintain their children\’s own characteristics and guide them in accordance with their nature. Parents can start by cultivating their children\’s interests and hobbies and help them find areas they like and are good at. Through their own efforts and excellence, they can exude their own unique temperament and attract like-minded partners. The child will also be more confident, which will help him open up his heart and live a more active life. Positive discipline enhances children\’s sense of security. Some unsociable children are timid and weak in temperament because they don\’t feel enough love. In this way, if parents or teachers often treat their children in a very harsh way in life and give their children too much criticism and negative energy, it will aggravate the children\’s insecurity and loneliness, and is not conducive to correcting their withdrawn character. For this kind of child, parents should give him more attention and care, and create a harmonious, relaxed and happy family atmosphere. Only by allowing children to fully feel loved and enhance their inner sense of security can children build a sense of trust in their relatives, friends, and the external environment, and be able to relax when getting along with their friends. A very important point in loving children is to give them full freedom within safety and certain rules. Don’t be too demanding or control your child, encourage him to explore boldly and try things out bravely.Try to create a free and harmonious psychological environment for your children. Overcome dependence and cultivate children\’s ability to be independent. Some children are unsociable because they are too dependent on their parents and lack basic independence. This is mainly due to parents\’ excessive arrogance in daily life, which results in children losing the opportunity to exercise and affirm themselves. . Children who cannot do their own things well or are unwilling to do them, who always rely on their parents and have no ideas of their own, will definitely not be welcomed by their peers. The child himself will also feel resistant to leaving his parents and entering a new activity environment, because he is used to living under the protection of his parents. This warns all parents to love their children in moderation, encourage them to do things they can do themselves, and give them opportunities to exercise. For example, I wash my own socks and underwear, help my mother with simple housework, etc. In this process, his hands-on ability and sense of responsibility will be enhanced. He will also feel happy that he has completed this task independently and gradually build up his self-confidence. These abilities and self-confidence are very helpful for children to integrate into the group in the future. Create a good communication environment. Parents\’ behavior will affect their children in a subtle way. If parents themselves do not often interact with others and stay at home whenever they have free time, in a closed state, their children will also be affected. At the same time, due to the lack of an interpersonal environment, children lack the experience of interacting with others and find it difficult to learn experience and skills in communication. This requires parents to work hard to create a good social environment for their children, such as taking their children to parks, squares and other crowded places, especially to increase the time their children spend with their peers. After leaving the family, children are no longer \”little emperors\” who can be domineering. If they do not abide by the rules of play among partners, are selfish and do not consider other people\’s feelings, they will also be rejected by their peers. Therefore, in these actual experiences, parents should pay attention to teaching their children correct behavioral norms and communication rules, such as first come, first served, not fighting for other people\’s things, how to treat others, etc. Children will be more educated and more popular in interactions. If children are exposed to their parents\’ ways of treating and getting along with others, and if they have a good environment and opportunities to practice by themselves, they will adapt to group activities more smoothly and learn to interact with others. What\’s the harm in being temporarily out of touch? There are many parents who are afraid of their children being alone, resulting in introverted personalities. In fact, psychologists divide people into introverts and extroverts. They do not say whether they are good or bad. They are just different tendencies in our personalities. Besides, the world is fair. Your character and abilities are the final trump card. Instead of worrying about whether your child can fit in with others. It is better to focus on nurturing your own children. A writer said in an interview that when he was a child, he was actually a relatively delayed and weak child. When playing games, his peers usually did not like to play with him, and his academic performance was not very good. Therefore, he was actually very lonely throughout his childhood. But he has a mother who loves reading, and she has taken him to read books since he was a child. He finds a lot of fun in books. When he was criticized or rejected, he would find a place to read a book. There were gods, monsters and magic in the book, which were very interesting. He could immediately read a book.Go back to your own world to find fun, look down upon your current circumstances, and feel that there is nothing you can\’t handle. It\’s unclear whether it was forced, his own choice, or compliance. When he entered his spiritual world, he always felt clear and happy. Gradually this became a way of life for him. Wouldn’t it be nice for everyone to be able to live for themselves and live the way they want? We often say, \”Child, I hope you will grow up to be what you want, not what I expect.\” Then let go of your anxiety and accept all aspects of your child. A child with a truly strong heart and healthy personality has a light in his heart. He will always interact with people who are truly worth knowing, or realize his own value in his own way. Instead of realizing their own value by making friends with all kinds of people, they are not afraid of being alone. Psychologist Schachter believes that being gregarious can reduce fear. For the strong, because they are excellent, they are confident and do not need to eliminate their fears by joining the group. What are the benefits of not fitting in? Many people feel helpless when they don\’t fit in with everyone else. But over time, being different may have its upsides. In fact, a social science study suggests that an eccentric, or social misfit, can be incredibly creative. Sharon Kim, who teaches at the Johns Hopkins University School of Business, says she often notices people who attribute their creative achievements to being a loner or a rebel. Sharon King wanted to know if outcasts were actually more creative, so she decided to put the theory to the test. She invited volunteers to her lab to complete several tests. Before the test began, Sharon King and her colleagues told some participants that they had not been chosen to be in the \”group.\” There was no such thing as a \”group,\” she and her colleagues just wanted to make them feel excluded. Another group of people did not receive the same \”rejection.\” Sharon King asked participants to complete two tests on paper. One asked them to answer what tied a group of seemingly unrelated words together (for example, fish, mines, and boom, the answer was \”gold.\” Translator\’s note: Because of goldfish, gold mines, and gold rushes). Another test is to draw an alien from a very different planet than Earth. The results showed that people who had been rejected performed better on both tests. In the alien question, the non-rejected participants drew standard cartoon Martians, while the rejected participants drew aliens that were very different from humans – all the body parts only grew on One side, or the eyes went under the nose. The rejected participants\’ paintings were judged to be more creative by three independent judges. Sharon King believes there is a link between rejection and creativity. This creativity advantage only occurred among participants who had a \”isolated self-awareness\”, that is, they already felt that they did not belong to a certain group. That said, being a weirdo opens your mind to new ideas. If a child doesn’t get along, weIt is necessary to see clearly the reasons why the child is not gregarious. If it is a character flaw that causes him to be excluded from the group, then active guidance should be provided to help the child develop good character and habits. If the child is just rejected by a small group that seems very dazzling. You really don’t have to worry about that, it’s okay to be alone. Solitude is a deeper form of self-growth. The most important thing is to help the child find his true self and become himself. Don’t follow the crowd, don’t blindly succumb, have good character, be independent, and have your own independent thoughts.

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