What to do about teenagers’ vanity and comparison mentality? The truth is not that simple!

Two days ago, at a gathering of best friends, all of them were mothers. As soon as they met, the topic quickly turned to children. Let children manage their skills independently and arrange their time reasonably. All three volumes in PDF. Nana said that she has been having a big headache recently because her 5-year-old son is more and more fond of comparison. Last month she was clamoring to buy a scooter, and these days she is clamoring to buy a scooter. Skates, the reason is: Kindergarten children have them. As soon as Nana finished speaking, Yuyou couldn\’t wait to shout out: \”My daughter is the same!\” When Yuyou\’s daughter just entered elementary school, she asked Yuyou to get herself a mobile phone and IPAD, saying: \”My classmates have them, how can I follow them if I don\’t have them?\” Everyone having fun? Then, they both looked at Mengmeng. Mengmeng spread her hands and said: \”We are in the same boat…\” As long as her 3-year-old son played with the children in the community, he would pester her to buy this or that, \”Pete who lives in the building opposite has a gun like the one on TV\”, \” Huahua downstairs has three more molds for playing in the sand than me.\”… When children start to walk out of the house, they fly into crowds of people and start to socialize, in small groups, some bring food, others bring playthings, and they have a desire to compare. Will come uninvited. Xiao Ming’s bicycle is really nice, I want it too. Xiaohua’s skirt is so beautiful, I want to buy it too. Xiaopang’s kitten is so cute, I want to keep it too. …When I see other people’s things being good, I want them. In fact, these simple yearnings are just the most primitive desires and demands of children. However, many times, parents misunderstand their children\’s desire for comparison and guide them inappropriately. Do you still remember Mi Tao\’s parents in \”Little Shede\”? Mi Tao\’s parents, who were born in rural areas, moved to the city to work and set up a stall to earn money for their children to go to school in the big city. Mi Tao\’s parents have low self-esteem and know that their family\’s material conditions are not as good as others. They have always taught Mi Tao to \”be sensible and obedient\”, \”My parents work hard to make money because of her\”, \”Our family will count on you in the future\”… this kind of thing The unconscious mentality of being inferior to others also affected Mi Tao. When she saw the big house and beautiful dress of her classmate, Mi Tao went from envying others at the beginning to not understanding her parents later. She asked her parents: Why should I always be sensible and why are you so useless? ! Life is not about comparison, happiness comes from cherishing. Saying this can not only help children understand their family conditions and know how to be satisfied, but also understand that life has many meanings. Happiness does not only come from money and comparison. They must learn to feel happiness and work hard to make progress. Parents who are neither humble nor arrogant, confident and optimistic can raise contented and motivated children. The so-called comparison psychology refers to a psychological state of deliberately comparing with others in terms of intelligence, ability, living conditions, etc., and hoping to surpass others! So what should you do when you find that your child is showing signs of comparison? Suppression? Perfunctory? compromise? None of them are good! Guide the children to think about whether this thing is really needed, and buy necessary things no matter how expensive they are. Don’t buy anything you don’t need, no matter how cheap it is. This is a rule and cannot be broken. Accepting your child’s emotions does not mean buying into them by default. When your child wants to buy something, don\’t rush to agree. Instead, you should ask your children to think about it, is this something you really need? American psychologist Bandura believes that children mainly pass throughBy observing and imitating the behavior of role models, they play a very important role in the learning process. If parents always like to compare and compare with friends and neighbors, and often show off what good things they have, their children will be subtly affected and will also learn to compare with the children around them. When children see that others have good things, they will develop the mentality that they have good things themselves. When they have \”treasures\”, they will know to show them, thus becoming the focus of attention and attracting more eyeballs. What is more important than material things is giving children correct values, especially for children who grow up in a rich material environment. Parents must educate and guide their children with correct values. Correct values ​​will bring endless benefits to their children throughout their lives, which cannot be obtained no matter how much money they spend. Download the full set of a real Yu Shiwei lecture: Preschool children’s family education story case selection, all 156 issues. Parents should tell their children that money can make people have material conditions, but it cannot replace all good spiritual characters. Happiness cannot be bought by money. You can use money to cultivate children\’s sense of responsibility, so that children can learn to help people in need and gain spiritual happiness.