• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

What to do if a child is addicted to mobile phones


Oct 1, 2023

\”Wise parents use telescopes to see their children\’s growth, while unwise parents use a magnifying glass to see their children\’s present.\” I didn\’t quite understand this sentence before. Both adults and children are addicted to the ultra-high-definition version of [Avatar: The Legend of Korra, all 4 seasons and 52 episodes]. But when I used love and tolerance to help my son overcome his mobile phone addiction, I had a deep understanding of this sentence. I am the mother of a child who is in the second grade of junior high school. My son is 14 years old this year. Before the second grade of junior high school, my son always made me worry-free. I thought he would keep it up and grow up the way I expected him to, but I was still too optimistic. There are very few children who are not rebellious during the rebellious period. My son obviously has not escaped this stage. This semester he became addicted to mobile phones and games, and he wished he could always be immersed in the online world. I often secretly play with my mobile phone until 1 or 2 in the morning. I can\’t get up the next morning. Even when I get to school, I lie on the table and sleep. I didn\’t realize it at first, but it wasn\’t until I saw my son\’s grades plummeting from the top three in the class to over 20 that I realized something was wrong. After asking the teacher, I found out: My son always dozed off in class during this period, and he didn\’t complete his homework seriously. Sometimes he copied his classmates\’ homework, sometimes he didn\’t even hand in his homework, and he would get together with a few classmates to play games after class. I decisively went home and collected my son’s cell phone. Unexpectedly, my son, who had never yelled at me, yelled at me: Why did you collect my cell phone? If you don\’t give me your mobile phone, I won\’t go to school. Looking at my son whose face was red from the roar and who had an indifferent attitude towards his studies, I finally couldn\’t control my emotions and got angry. I picked up my hand and gave my son two slaps, and scolded him, \”It\’s really hard for you to do anything you can. You\’ve learned how to threaten me.\” After the beating, my son ran into the room and locked the door, as if he wanted to use this move to silently challenge me. protest. Angry as hell, as a mother, I definitely can\’t let my son continue to let things go like this. The next day, when our emotions had dissipated and we were at peace, I talked to my son. She told him sincerely that playing with mobile phones and playing with things was demoralizing. Now is the stage of learning and accumulating knowledge. I hope he would focus on studying. He apparently listened to it, and I expected him to change, but the appeal of mobile phones to my son was far greater than I imagined. Even if I take away his cell phone, he will still find ways to either often visit his classmate\’s house next door to play with his cell phone; or he will stay at home feeling weak, without energy, and unmotivated to study, preferring to sit there in a daze. Psychologist Adam Alt said: \”Entertainment products such as games, gossip, and live broadcasts are like drugs. If you are not careful, you can become addicted.\” It is true that his son\’s state is like \”drug abuse\”, very addictive. But hitting, scolding, and earnest words seemed to have no effect on my son. I really had nothing to do with him. I started asking for help online… \”The more you refuse, the more curious you will be.\” This is the sentence that impressed me the most. After reading it, I felt enlightened. Looking back on my previous education methods, I saw my own shortcomings in educating my children, and finally figured out the crux of my son\’s addiction to mobile games. I thought I was doing it for my son\’s good, so I stopped him forcefully.His behavior of playing with his mobile phone, but in fact, my refusal not only failed to protect him, but did the opposite. The more I refuse, the more addicted my son will become. Just like the \”forbidden fruit effect\”, an effect in psychology, that is to say, the more forbidden things and things are, the more children will be interested and concerned. They are full of snooping and curiosity about forbidden things, which will also arouse their rebellious psychology, and they will try their best to obtain it through various channels. In addition, junior high school is the most rebellious period for children, and their rebellious psychology has reached its peak. They missed the elementary school stage when developing good habits, so the very sensitive junior high school stage must not be missed. I realized this, knew the principle of the forbidden fruit effect, and understood my son\’s psychological condition. The same goes for playing with mobile phones. In fact, the more I forbid him from playing, the more curious he will be and the more he will want to play. There are many such situations in real life. If parents forcefully stop them, children will feel that their parents do not respect them, and they may even do some extreme behavior just to get angry. For example, playing with mobile phones in a retaliatory manner, not learning to protest, and some impulsive behaviors that harm one\’s own body, etc. I remember a parent-child education expert once said: \”Behind every child who is addicted to electronic products, there are psychological needs that have never been met.\” Children may play with mobile phones out of anger purely because of their parents\’ tough attitudes; I want my parents to spend more time with me, and I want to do something meaningful with my parents. But because their parents are too busy, they gradually don’t know what is meaningful and cannot find the source of happiness. They can only seek solace from their mobile phones. Of course, there are also those who are simply attracted by the fun games and various short video apps on their mobile phones. Attractive, this requires parents to set rules for their children, rather than choosing to prevent children from playing with mobile phones across the board. Because the Internet is the future world of children, we cannot separate them. Understanding the world from the Internet can actually become a learning method, depending on how to use it. The important thing is not to maximize children\’s desires, so that they know what that thing looks like and won\’t particularly desire it. When faced with children who are addicted to mobile phones, the wisest choice is not to forcefully confiscate their mobile phones, but to slowly guide them in a gentle and appropriate way according to their inner needs so that they can learn to control themselves. indeed so. Instead of refusing forcefully, it is better to guide correctly. I overturned all my previous educational concepts and no longer refused my son to play with his mobile phone. Instead, I calmly established the time and rules for him to play with his mobile phone. During class, you can only play on your phone once a day when you go home, for 20 minutes each time; you can play twice on weekends, for 30 minutes each time; if you want to download a game, you must delete a game; if you violate the rules, you will be restricted from playing on your phone for 2 days , accumulated sequentially. In this way, my son gradually stopped being addicted to mobile games. When the time was up, he would actively put down his mobile phone because he understood that if he violated our agreement, he would not be able to touch the mobile phone as punishment. In addition, I do \”family reading\” with my son at least three nights a week. After reading, we will discuss our ideas with each other. In this way, my son\’s attention was distracted a lot from playing with his mobile phone. Our motherThe relationship between the two is also harmonious as never before. There is also an unexpected gain. He has become more active in learning from his previous indifference. Mom, reading and discussing with you can help me realize some things that cannot be learned in books. I like this feeling very much. Let’s do more family reading together in the future! In the last mid-term exam, he had risen from the 20th place in the class to the 12th place in the class. This result may not be a big deal to many parents of top academics. But it makes me very gratified. It allows me to see the good side of my son, and my efforts are not in vain. In fact, in the process of accompanying our son, not only does the child feel the respect of his parents and learn self-control, but it also changes our way of thinking as parents. Not everything \”good for you\” has a positive effect on children. We need to think from multiple dimensions to see whether what we do is helpful to our children. Each of us parents is a first-time parent, and it is inevitable that we will encounter many difficulties and challenges. But as long as we keep learning and constantly improve our abilities and methods to educate our children, we can always guide our children to get on the right track and be positive. growing up!

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