• Sat. Dec 9th, 2023

When being interviewed by my son’s teacher, luckily I stood on the child’s side.

When your child\’s teacher says talk to you one day. How do you feel? I must be beating a drum in my heart, wondering what the teacher will say. Some time ago, Xiao Xiaoyu\’s head teacher said to me: \”It\’s really good. Today, the little guy tried a new area and actually strung beads for a long time.\” It was originally a very common thing, but it happened to Xiao Xiaoyu. It\’s still surprising when it comes to fish. Because he had been playing with building blocks in the educational area before, and he was not very interested in the classroom or other autonomous areas in the kindergarten. For this matter, the teacher deliberately interviewed me. At that time, I was a little anxious after hearing it. \”The child has been spending most of his independent choice time in the puzzle area for a month.\” The teacher said, \”Maybe he likes building blocks!\” \”He doesn\’t seem to like to express himself. When he goes to the stage to speak, he is always shy.\” When the teacher said this, I thought of myself. \”And he has a cautious personality and is a bit resistant to trying new things.\” The teacher continued. I remember the way he walked on the single-plank bridge in the activity class. As a boy, he was more careful than the girls. I was really worried about him. But I still remembered that he has always been like this. I remember that when I could just walk, I touched the wall very carefully. When playing, I would look around for fear of getting hurt. Grandma said he was afraid of pain. Unlike his cousin, he would not cry out in pain even if he got hit. I think this caution is inherent. Like mom, dad, and of course, himself. no problem. So when the teacher said this, I listened with a smile. The teacher gave advice. I said don\’t be too anxious! Let\’s wait and see. Encourage him to try it slowly. Seeing that I was not in a hurry, the teacher should be relieved. He didn\’t continue talking, and agreed to observe quietly together and guide him slowly. Just two or three months later, I got the initial results. Children are constantly opening up new areas of their own. Nowadays, he is still a frequent visitor to the building block area, but his craftsmanship is already excellent. And I started going to the performance area to play superheroes with other children. It seems that I was right not to be in a hurry. I still remember that time when my mother heard what the teacher said. I still feel a little anxious inside because the teacher didn’t explain clearly clearly. Does it mean that the child lacks courage and dare not try? I comforted him and said, \”Give him some time. Every child has his own growth pattern. Don\’t rush! He also has his own strengths and weaknesses.\” Many parents, faced with the problems raised by the teacher, want to write them down one by one. Then go home and settle accounts with your children. In fact, don\’t be so anxious, because what the teacher says is just reminding you, or waiting for your approval or supplement. And you can also use this opportunity to understand the specific situation of your child at school. Because only those who know enough about children and truly love them can enter their world or discover their inner secrets. But the reality is that many parents cannot afford to wait, for fear that their children will fall behind. So I forced my children to make changes, expecting to see immediate results. Let children who don\’t like to talk sign up for a small host training class, hoping that the children can quickly become eloquent. The results may actually allow children to learn some skills. But heWhat do you really like in your heart? What is he really suitable for? There are many mothers who are afraid that they do not understand their children and that they will \”ruin\” their children. So I rushed my child to an early childhood education center. After some evaluation, I found out that my child is really so different and has so many problems? But do you know? No child can get straight A\’s in the assessment center, and the staff can always give you a reason why your child needs training. In the Indian movie \”Starting Line\”. The protagonist Raj and his wife took their daughter Pia to the training center to find a consultant. As a result, the child\’s time is occupied by training projects. The Raj and his wife were surprised and hesitantly asked the assistant: \”Then when does she eat and sleep?\” The assistant just smiled and said: \”She has been late for enrolling in the training class for several years. Other people\’s children came when they were pregnant.\” It meant that she had to rush, and she had to rush it without sleep or food. In the face of those so-called high standards, when compared with other children, one\’s own children will always show shortcomings. So, your anxiety keeps getting worse. Then I chose to pay the fees quickly and let my children receive training. As a result, I have no idea at all, like a headless fly. Think about it calmly, do you think this is a child\’s problem? Is he born deficient, or are you looking for something to prove that he is deficient? The problem is actually not with the children, but with the parents. The native family environment created by parents plays a subtle role in the growth of children. The person who understands children best should be the parents. If you are anxious, you will only see your child\’s shortcomings. Why can’t we listen more to the child’s heart and see more of the child’s strengths? Children need self-identity and the approval of others. Especially need the approval of those closest to you. When you understand your child’s needs. You will no longer try to find ways to expose your child\’s \”old background\”, but will stand by your child\’s side. Once, I heard a teacher from a training class say to a mother at the door: \”Your child really loves to cry. He cries when he loses at chess and starts crying when he fights with girls.\” That\’s right. The boy who was holding his mother\’s hand made a face: \”Don\’t cry next time! Shame on me, man.\” The child raised his head and said to his mother: \”Mom, I didn\’t cry, I really didn\’t.\” \”Not yet.\” You lied, the teacher told you, why don\’t you cry a lot! You are often a crybaby at home.\” The mother said sternly, not allowing the child to refute. The child kept his head down. My mother and the teacher are already on the same side, and I have already decided that I am a \”crybaby\”. I just put this label on me, but it just told me \”Don\’t cry, don\’t cry.\” But what should I do next time I still can\’t help crying? Neither the child\’s mother nor the teacher would take into account the child\’s idea. Let\’s just immerse ourselves in each other\’s recognition. What a victory indeed! A unified opinion was reached on the issue of children. In fact, children always go through a stage where they deny what they have done. For example, children in kindergarten often say that they did not cry, or categorically say that they did not do that wrong thing. Do you still have to force your children to admit it? They just don\’t want to accept their \”bad self\” and they don\’t mean to lie. So sometimes the teacher says Xiao XiaoyuIt took me a long time to fall asleep at noon, tossing and turning. When I knew he didn\’t disturb his classmates, I just asked him: \”Did you not sleep well during your nap at noon?\” \”No!\” \”The teacher said you couldn\’t fall asleep tossing and turning.\” \”No, I can sleep.\” \”Actually, I can.\” Dad often can\’t sleep and has endless strength.\” \”Oh! I also have endless strength.\” \”Then what did you do?\” \”I didn\’t say anything to disturb my classmates.\” \”That\’s good! But Dad teaches you a lesson The method is to close your eyes and don\’t move. It can help you fall asleep.\” \”Okay, I\’ll try it next time.\” When you give up blaming and labeling, and choose empathy. Children will open their hearts and be willing to accept their parents\’ suggestions. Otherwise, they will resist you and even intentionally do wrong things to express their presence. As a child grows up, receiving unconditional love from his parents is very important for establishing a sense of security. This kind of love is not doting, but understanding, acceptance and tolerance. I will point out your shortcomings, but it will not stop me from loving you as a person forever. Moreover, children will encounter various teachers throughout their lives. No matter what, we still need to work hard to let the children feel our respect for the teacher and the friendly relationship with the teacher.

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