• Tue. Dec 5th, 2023

When encountering these three types of families, children will not be grateful to their parents at all

I recently saw a video that was just 90 seconds long and made people laugh and cry. The child in the video does not want his mother to have a second child and wants to monopolize the love of his parents. He said: \”If you dare to have a second child, just wait for that night. When you go to bed, I will put on some clothes by myself.\” Take a few dollars, go downstairs, take a taxi, find a place, and stay there until you starve to death.\” Dandan\’s mother was puzzled, whose baby dared to be so rampant? A clear threat. Because, he thinks – everything in this family belongs to him. His father is his, his mother is his, the house is his, and all the toys are his… Suddenly one day, another child comes and wants to divide things. Who can bear this? It is obvious that the parents have worked hard to raise their children, but in the end they make the children feel that everything should be his. It\’s just that they don\’t know how to be grateful, but they also threaten to die. Apart from being cute, it also makes people reflect: Why do parents pay so much, but their children don\’t know how to be grateful? In the video, the host Meng Fei mentioned a point: Let your children know that everything in this family does not belong to you alone. If you want to get something, you have to go through certain channels and make certain efforts to get it. Only by letting your child realize how difficult it is for you, will he appreciate everything he has now. Helping children establish correct values ​​​​and teaching them to learn to be grateful is the focus of parents\’ efforts. The boy scored 635 in the college entrance examination and knelt down to thank his mother. The most powerful child in the future is to have a grateful heart. A few days ago, Dandan Mama saw a set of data: 30% of young people in China currently rely on \”gnawing at the old\” to survive, and 65% There is a phenomenon of \”gnawing at the old\” in the above families. In the past, we \”raised children to prevent old age\”, but now we have \”raised children to protect children\” – to prevent them from chewing on old people. What kind of child can you raise so that he won’t grow old in the future? The answer is that this child knows how to be grateful. Do you still remember the boy Wang Hengjie who walked out of the examination room and knelt down to thank his mother after the college entrance examination this year? At that time, he said something that touched many people: \”Mom, thank you for your hard work these years.\” Living in a single-parent family, he understood that although his mother was raising a child, she had devoted her whole life to it. With a grateful heart, he set strict demands on himself, studied hard, and determined to do his best in the examination room, so as not to disappoint the people he loved most and to be worthy of their efforts. After the college entrance examination results were announced, he scored 635 points, 139 points above the first line. Dandanma was not surprised at all by this result. There is a saying that goes well: A child who knows how to be grateful will regard being resigned to mediocrity as the greatest ingratitude. Children who know how to be grateful also have the essence to become excellent themselves. I saw an advertisement before that was unforgettable. A boy was so poor that he had no choice but to steal medicine for his seriously ill mother. So he became a street rat, and everyone shouted to beat him. Just when everyone was despising him, the owner of a breakfast shop came to help and helped the boy pay for the medicine, saved him from being beaten, and gave him some food. Thirty years later, the owner of the breakfast shop got cancer. The family was worried about the expensive medical expenses and had no choice but to sell the old shop. The little boy back then has becomeA top-notch doctor. After learning that his benefactor came to the hospital for treatment, he secretly paid all the medical bills. And wrote: All the expenses were paid off 30 years ago for 3 packets of painkillers and a packet of vegetable soup. On weekdays, he often goes to some poor areas to treat people for free and practice medicine to help the world. Some people say that the most powerful children in the future will be those with a grateful heart. I deeply agree! Only children who know how to be grateful will be loved and liked by more people, and they will definitely become more and more powerful in the future. Writer Liu Yingxuan once said: Life is an echo. If you give the best to others, you will get the best from others. When we learn to appreciate and be grateful, we will have happiness and joy. A good life is not as good as a good habit. Help your children develop the habit of gratitude and you will benefit from it throughout your life. Cultivating children to have a grateful heart is a required course for parents throughout their lives. What kind of family cannot raise grateful children? I read a story, which is very interesting. One day, someone asked an old gentleman which one was more important, the sun or the moon. The old gentleman thought for a long time and replied: \”The moon, the moon is more important than the sun.\” \”Why?\” \”Because the moon shines at night, that is when we need the most light, and it is already bright enough during the day, but the sun Then it shines.\” The story is very short, but it condenses a very meaningful topic: the sun is always there, but we forget the light it gives. Our parents have always devoted themselves to us without any regrets, and we have forgotten their hard work. There are three types of families that accelerate children\’s forgetfulness of their parents\’ efforts: 01. Controlling children without a bottom line. The TV series \”Little Joy\” is currently on the air. I would like to talk to you about Song Qian, the mother played by Tao Hong. She is a single mother, and her daughter Yingzi is everything to her. She \”loves\” her daughter to a suffocating degree. Open up the wall connecting the child\’s bedroom to the living room and replace it with soundproof glass, so that you can observe what\’s going on in the house at any time. If your child takes second place in the exam and is not happy, he must take the first place in the exam. If the child writes his own wish, if he fails, he must increase his mother\’s expectations. Above; children are confiscated from playing with Lego, and are not allowed to go to the planetarium. It was replaced by a \”refreshing\” Chinese herbal soup that the child didn\’t like at all…and once Yingzi resisted, he would resort to crying, making trouble, and hanging himself. His nose and tears would flow together, and he would begin to kidnap Yingzi affectionately: \”Yingzi , you are everything to me!\” In the end, when Yingzi gave her ex-husband\’s girlfriend the bird\’s nest she had worked so hard for for several hours to drink, her mother\’s world collapsed. I have given everything I have, but my children are just ungrateful and not appreciative at all. This mother is a typical Chinese parent, living a tiring and thankless life. They rarely take into account their children\’s feelings and have almost no inner communication with their children. \”I have paid so much for you\” often becomes the reason to force children to obey you. Many times, we lament how hard our parents are, but we never consider whether our children are also having a hard time. If your child is so overwhelmed by you that he can hardly breathe, how can he still have the time to be grateful? 02. Criticizing children indiscriminately On National Day last year, my aunt and his wife had nothing to do, so they planned to visit their daughter who was studying in another city. Thinking of giving my daughter a \”surpris\”e\”, so I didn\’t tell her. Unexpectedly, when I got there, my daughter made an appointment with her friends and didn\’t make time to entertain them. The next day, my daughter also went out to have a meal with her parents, so she thought she had something to do at school. Went back. Seeing the child being treated like this, my aunt was extremely sad. She spent half her life raising such a cold and heartless child. This trip was too boring, so the couple went back directly. Later, Eggman asked Cousin: How could you treat them like this? She replied: It’s not comfortable at all to be with them. My mother just doesn’t like me no matter how she looks at me. She always criticizes me for everything she does. It’s annoying. Speaking of criticism, Almost everywhere in our lives: “I’m so nervous to go on stage, why are you so timid! \”I think you are just too stupid!\” \”Besides eating, what else will you do!\” \”If you can\’t do this little thing well, what will you do in the future?\” \”…We say these invalid criticisms lightly, but we don\’t realize that children live in an atmosphere of depression and denial all day long, and even their personalities gradually become withdrawn and stubborn. Online There is a question: How to get along with a mother who is always angry and critical of others? The most liked one is: Leave. There is a song that regards coming home often as a kind of filial piety. However, those raised in a family like my aunt For children, it is probably very difficult to achieve. Children would rather stay away from you. The famous psychologist Carl Rogers said: How wonderful it would be if someone listened to you, didn’t judge you, and didn’t worry about you! However, in life, We often criticize easily, regardless of whether the other party can accept it, and ultimately cannot understand the failure of communication. This not only wastes our time and energy, but also causes the children\’s incomprehension and disgust, which is not worth the loss. In fact, the appropriate \”talk less\” can Clicking until the end is a lesson that parents must learn. 03. Families that are not willing to let their children endure hardships. I saw a very popular post before, in which a netizen complained about his 10-year-old nephew. Not only did this nephew have excellent grades, he also excelled in Mathematical Olympiad and Go games. , roller skating and various hobbies are also outstanding. Here’s the key point, he feels that he is very good, and he despises his parents for being unworthy of such a good self. The child said: His parents are too poor and can only afford a Toyota worth more than 100,000 yuan. He All of my classmates are holding iPhone 7, but I only have a children’s watch. “I strive to be excellent so that I can escape from my ignorant and incompetent family of origin as soon as possible. \”This is the value pursuit of this child who topped the exam. Coincidentally, in \”Young Pi\”, Lin Miaomiao despised her father\’s job as embarrassing and asked him to change jobs. When her mother criticized her for not repaying kindness, her reason Yes: Her father humiliated her and caused her to be laughed at. Parents gave the best they could and were not willing to let their children endure hardship. In the end, they were rejected by their children, which gave rise to their children\’s sense of superiority. They were selfish and never cared about others. You may even feel resentful towards you. A child who is ungrateful will be useless no matter how good he is. To put it bluntly, he is just an excellent \”white-eyed wolf\”. We often discuss whether it is better to raise children poor or rich. In fact, No matter how you raise your son, nothing can be better than a child who is well-educated and grateful. Nicholas Tse raised his eldest son when he was one year oldI cut the footage of a dangerous action scene into a two-minute video and gave it to him as a birthday present. The purpose is to let his son understand: \”This is how dad works hard to support you! No matter what you do when you grow up, you must be motivated, have a good character, and know how to be grateful, then you will have a good future!\” As the saying goes, habits It\’s like killing a child. It\’s not a bad thing for your children to see how difficult it is for you, to suffer a little more and to understand how to put yourself in someone else\’s shoes. How to raise a grateful child. Some people may ask: We are not one of the three families above, and we do not usually deliberately cultivate children. But you will find that some children know how to be grateful, and some do not. Is it natural for children to understand gratitude? of course not. Dandan Mama once saw a father educating a friend: How do you educate your children? I travel out on business every day and work hard to provide food and clothing for you, but I don’t know how to ask my children to call me and say hello. The friend retorted: I asked her to beat her, but she didn’t like it. What can I do? You don\’t usually call your parents, and you rarely go back even during holidays. With your bad habits, you may have led the child in a wrong way. Children cannot see gains and gratitude at all in life, and naturally they will not understand what gratitude is. So how should we cultivate children’s gratitude in life? Let children know how to say thank you from an early age. We need to teach children to say thank you from an early age, so that children understand that they need to say thank you when they receive help, whether it is a stranger, a relative, a friend, or even a parent. Dandan\’s mother has a friend who taught her child that the first words he said after he learned to speak were \”hello, thank you, and goodbye.\” Normally, when a child helps a child with something, he or she will say thank you; when a friend does something for a child, the child will also take the initiative to ask for \”you haven\’t thanked me yet.\” This way of playing house helps children gradually get used to saying thank you after receiving help. When a child learns to be grateful in every aspect of his life, he will gradually understand that others can choose not to help with his own affairs. Only in this way will children gradually learn to appreciate others. Let your children know how to treat others well. A good mother should not only focus on her own children, but also teach her children to see others, consider others, and treat others well. Teacher Li Meijin once said something that impressed Mom Dandan deeply: being kind to others can save lives. In the 2003 Huangyong murder case in Henan, 18 teenagers were trapped and killed with a modified Trojan horse, and only one of them escaped death. At that time, the surviving child was strangled and woke up. He kept crying and begging: Don\’t kill me. I am an only child. I have a father, a mother, and a grandmother. What will happen to them after you kill me? You also have a mother. What if you just die and your mother can’t find you when she comes back? Huang Yong cried loudly after hearing this: My mother doesn\’t care whether I live or die! They don\’t care about me. Then, the child said: If you don\’t mind, consider me your godson. When you grow old, I will accompany you, I will provide for you, and take you over to live with my grandma. Finally, Huang Yong let him go. As the saying goes, being kind to others is actually being kind to yourself. It is not enough for children to learn to say thank you. We also need to teach children to be kind and help others. For example, on weekdays, the churchGiving up your child\’s seat, helping the elderly cross the road, and participating in some charity poverty alleviation activities are all good ways. Only by letting children know how to be kind to others and help others from an early age will the children become more and more caring, and such children will also have a grateful heart. Parents’ precepts and deeds are the best education. Dong Qing once said this: Whatever kind of person you want your children to be, you first become such a person. In order to let children know how to be grateful, it is best for parents to take the lead. Only children who are nourished by love and gratitude will have the seeds of love and gratitude in their hearts. Crosstalk actor Guo Degang makes Dandan Mama admire him very much in this aspect. In an interview, Guo Degang once told reporters: Although I am over forty years old, I never dare to cross my legs in front of my father and must always maintain a state of respect. With such a tutor, Guo Qilin was the first to send blessings to his master Yu Qian during every New Year and festival. He also did charity work, gave speeches, shared readings, and repaid the society on weekdays. As the saying goes, children are the shadow of their parents. What we do is seen by the children, and the seeds of gratitude are sown in their hearts. As psychologist Li Weirong said: The focus of real family education is not on education but on the environment. Once upon a time, a girl from Peking University wrote a letter to thank her for her poverty and flooded her circle of friends. Is it really poverty that shaped her? Between the lines, what Dandan Mama read was more of the child\’s gratitude to his parents and his optimism about a poor life. The ancients said: A drop of kindness should be repaid by a spring! No kindness is too big or too small, and gratitude is a positive attitude toward life. Only by repaying kindness can we stand upright and have a clear conscience. Children who know how to be grateful are the winners in life.

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