10 family rules and mottos for a son from Peking University and a daughter from Harvard

I have heard many parents complain that it is difficult to raise their children: if they are strictly controlled, their children will easily develop a rebellious mentality; they are determined to implement \”free range\”, but they are worried that their children have poor self-control and will go astray. The balance between this is indeed difficult to grasp. An old teacher once made a very vivid metaphor: raising children is like flying a kite. Give them enough freedom within a reasonable range, but the bottom line of principles is the thin string in the hands of parents. Make sure the kite flies in the right direction. I have read about a couple who are engaged in archaeology. Because they are very busy at work and travel around the world all year round, they have very little time to spend with their two children. But what is unexpected is that under such \”free-range\” conditions, both children grew into extremely outstanding talents: the son was admitted to Peking University, and the daughter was recommended to Harvard. Many people come to them to ask for their experience in educating children: Why can they raise such outstanding children without spending so much time? The mother replied: \”I have never cared about children\’s learning. In my opinion, it is not a big deal. Exploring the magic of the universe and the mysteries of the world is what everyone should pursue.\” \”Every child, in fact, Just like a piece of exquisite porcelain, as craftsmen, when polishing it in the early stage, we choose the perfect mold, the appropriate temperature, and plan the general shape, and then everything will fall into place naturally.\” Finally, she said, if we want to trace the excellence of children The origin of this is probably closely related to the 10 house rules she formulated. Good family traditions and good family training stories make good children a 100-day plan for parent-child interaction pdf. Although he lives in poverty, he never complains about his living environment. Last year, when the college entrance examination results were released, Sun Chuan, a candidate from Sichuan, became a hot search on Weibo. Sun Chuan was admitted to Tsinghua University with excellent results and received a 50,000 yuan award from the county government. A few days before receiving the notice, Sun Chuan was still working at the construction site, hoping to reduce the burden on his family and earn some tuition and living expenses for the start of school. When Sun Chuan\’s mother was interviewed, she always said that she \”owed her child too much.\” She said that in the year of the high school entrance examination, her child was admitted to a key class in a prestigious school, but because of the difficult conditions at home, he voluntarily gave up his place and studied in a local middle school. read. His room is filled with books, and there are two thick stacks of study materials on the table. Every time he goes home during the holidays, Sun Chuan sits here and studies hard after helping his parents with farm work. The room is simple, but Sun Chuan has high aspirations. Poverty did not become a burden for him to feel sorry for himself, but instead inspired him to pursue his dreams. Even if you live in a hazy place, never stop looking up at the stars. Poverty makes the weak weaker and the strong stronger. The stronger a person is, the more he needs to reflect on himself and understand what is said in \”A Dream of Red Mansions\”: \”When the moon is full, it will lose; when the water is full, it will overflow.\” \”When you climb high, you will fall heavy.\” A truly strong person will never be complacent about his achievements, nor will he be devastated by failure. I have a friend whose child is studying abroad and is very promising. She once said that from the time her child is five years old, she will tell her child before going to bed: Think about what they did not do well today. How should I correct it tomorrow? Over the past ten years, it has become a child\’s instinct to reflect on himself before going to bed every day. At the doctoral graduation ceremony, he said, what I am most grateful for is the good habits my mother taught me since I was a child.used. Heine once said: \”Reflection is a mirror that can clearly show our mistakes and give us the opportunity to correct them.\” Learning to introspect is the first step for children to achieve success. Don’t be discouraged by failure and arm yourself with a tenacious spirit of challenge. Ma Yun has taken the college entrance examination three times. After failing the first two times, he and his cousin applied for waiters. His cousin was selected, but he was rejected because of his poor appearance. During that time, Ma Yun worked in many different jobs, but he always had a firm belief: continuing to take the college entrance examination is the key to changing his destiny. In order to motivate himself to study hard, he would get up early every Sunday and drive an hour to study at the Zhejiang University library. His hard work pays off, and Ma Yun’s spirit of not being discouraged or giving up finally became a stepping stone on his road to struggle. In the third college entrance examination, Ma Yun was admitted to Hangzhou Normal University, and his legendary life began. Jack Ma once said that the difference in \”tolerance\” creates a different life for everyone. He said: \”Maybe your tolerance is 20 million, his tolerance is 30 million, and mine is 200 million.\” No one\’s success comes easily. Those who achieve victory have extraordinary courage and Only with a strong will can we draw nutrients from risks step by step and open up more possibilities. I have a friend who tests and trains myself through long-distance travel and takes her children on at least one long-distance trip every year. She said that traveling is the first step in training children. The training of willpower, skills in getting along with others, and the courage and resourcefulness to survive in a foreign place can all be taught to children through long-distance travel. Once, a friend took his children to play abroad. When they returned at night, their mobile phones were out of battery and they couldn\’t find the hotel. The adults were worried, but the children calmly said, \”We can just follow the light rail track above our heads.\” The adult was doubtful, but he didn\’t expect to actually return to the hotel ten minutes later. The mother asked the child how he knew, and the child said with a relaxed face: \”I saw the light rail outside the hotel room window, so I just followed that direction.\” If you have the conditions, you might as well take your children out to play more, not only It allows them to see the world, broaden their horizons, and plays a decisive role in improving children\’s quality in all aspects. I have seen a lot of news about parents who do not teach their children in person but only supervise and inspect their learning. I have seen a lot of news about parents who helped their children with homework and were so angry that they were hospitalized or even jumped into a river. But I think that \”face-to-face\” tutoring for children to do homework may not necessarily have a positive effect on children\’s learning. For younger children, if they do homework under the guidance of their parents for a long time, not only will the children increase their interest in doing homework It is not conducive to the formation of a healthy parent-child relationship. Instead of teaching step-by-step, it is better to take a step back and let the children do their homework and bear the consequences. The parents \”stay behind the scenes\” and make appropriate suggestions and tips on the children\’s learning situation. This will help cultivate the children\’s conscious initiative in learning. Cultivate the habit of loving expression and exploring. It is definitely not a bad thing for children to love asking questions. This is the first step for children to explore the world and delve into difficult problems. Children love to talk and express themselves, which are very rare qualities. It shows that they are willing to share and exchange their opinions with those around them.and viewpoints, and the mind is more flexible and agile. I just saw a piece of news two days ago, interviewing a pair of parents who were top scorers in the college entrance examination. One detail particularly touched me. My mother said that when her child came to ask her a question when she was cooking at home, she would turn off the gas first and then talk to the child seriously, instead of letting him go on his own or while cooking. Perfunctory children. Many parents complain that after their children reach adolescence, they no longer want to communicate with them. In fact, the root of the problem can often be traced back to an earlier period. Parents ignored their children\’s communication needs, so as their children grew up, their door to expression gradually closed. Let children consciously cultivate a sense of independence. If children grow up in an environment where they can reach out for clothes and open their mouths for food, it is destined to be difficult to make a difference. Don\’t ever say \”just study hard and leave the rest to us\”. We must know that the future society is not only about academic performance, but inner self-reliance and perseverance are the foundation for children to stand on the world and live a stable life. The relationship between parents and children is a spiritual practice that gradually moves away. One day, they will break away from our protection and walk out of their own world. What we want to ensure is that we can safely hand him over to the coming years. Make up for the knowledge that cannot be learned in school through reading. Teacher Yin Jianli said: The difference in reading from childhood is the difference between \”win and lose\” in the future. Children who did not pay attention to reading when they were young, even if they perform well in kindergarten and primary school, will become more mediocre later in life because they do not have sufficient reading resources. Parents lead by example and create a bookish atmosphere at home, and children will naturally find fun in books. Don\’t interfere too much with your child\’s preferences. \”If you want your child to accept it, seduce it; if you want it to reject it, force it.\” Children who are immersed in reading tend to be good when they grow up. Effective time management Many parents have complained that their children are slow to do things and not focused, and this becomes more obvious after they enter elementary school. In fact, it is normal for children at this age to show distraction and procrastination. What we can do is to help children develop a sense of time management and not to scold them, which will only arouse their rebellious psychology. With the help of some timed focus software and small games, children can gradually experience the consequences of efficient time management. Later, the children will be able to arrange the rhythm of doing things by themselves, and parents will no longer have to worry about it. Dedicate all your energy to achieve your goals and keep making progress. A relative has a child who was lively and clever when he was a child, with slender fingers. Everyone praised him for playing the piano. After the child listened to it a lot, he took the initiative to tell his mother that he wanted to play the piano. His mother was very happy and found the best local piano teacher. After studying for half a year, the child feels that it is \”boring\” and is unwilling to continue learning at any cost. The teacher also told the parents that the child is a good seedling and will achieve success if he continues to cultivate it. The child was helpless and unwilling to study anymore, feeling \”too tired\” and \”delaying his studies\”. After several arguments, the family had no choice but to compromise. After two or three years, the child saw that other children in the school were good at playing the piano, and his heart became itchy again. He pestered his family again and said that he wanted to pick up the piano again. The result was predictable.After losing it for such a long time, it is not easy to learn it again, and in the end it is nothing. Now that this child is in college, every time he sees the piano playing on TV, he will complain to his parents: \”Why didn\’t you force me?\” \”I was not sensible when I was a child, are you adults also ignorant?\” This story is fascinating. The sadness also reflects the dilemma faced by countless parents: whether to encourage their children to \”choose independently\” or to force them to persist to the end. I remember chatting with a tutor before, and he said that when interviewing students, if the students mention that they have practiced an instrument for many years, it will leave a very good impression, because being able to practice the same thing for a long time represents the person\’s self-control and self-discipline. , strong will and determination to cope with difficulties, extra points. Children are still young and cannot understand that the development of things cannot always be smooth sailing. Hard work and perseverance are compulsory courses in life. This lesson must be taught by parents\’ words and deeds and unremitting guidance in order for them to understand. If children encounter setbacks and become discouraged, parents will only follow their wishes and let them hide in their comfort zone, and they will never be able to develop courage and perseverance. Your selfless dedication only touched yourself, but it harmed the child\’s life.