14 years old is a hurdle, and 17 years old is a pit! Parents regret seeing it too late…

Adolescence is the most challenging period for children to grow up, and the age of 14 and 17 are two key nodes. The former is the \”watershed\” of great changes in body and mind, while the latter is the \”deep pit period\” of values ​​and behavior patterns. Many of the collapse of parent-child relationships after adulthood actually laid the groundwork at this age. 01.14 years old: The \”dangerous watershed\” of self-awakening 01 The 14-year-old child is in a period of fierce collision between physiological maturity and psychological immaturity. They desire independence, but rely on their parents; they pursue themselves, but are easily dominated by emotions. At this time, even if parents say something reasonable, it will be difficult for children to hear it. Many times, I even start to feel bored and impatient with my parents because I hate my parents nagging and taking too much care. 02 The \”minefield\” that parents are prone to step on① Head-on encounter: forcing children to obey and intensify the rebellious psychology. ② Ignore emotional needs: only focus on grades and ignore children\’s loneliness and confusion. ③Over control: Use \”for your good\” preaching to deprive children of their growth space. 02.17 years old: The \”deep pit period\” of values ​​turbulent, 17-year-old children face multiple pressures such as school entrance, social interaction and self-identity, and are prone to falling into the chaos of their values. Aversion to learning, anxiety, extreme premature love, addiction to virtual social… They desire to be accepted by their peers, but lack mature judgment; anxiety about the future is intertwined with frustration in reality, and gradually form the crux of the problem. Children at this stage are not only in a state of immature physically and mentally, but also bear many pressures that they should not bear at this age. At this time, if parents always lack care and love for their children. The child’s rebellious emotions are likely to become more and more intense. Common misunderstandings among parents: ① Ignore early signals: if the child suddenly loses grades and social withdrawal, he mistakenly thinks it is \”stage emotions\”. ② Excessive interference in private life: such as brutally forbidden early love, which will in turn inspire confrontation. ③ Denied the child\’s pain: respond lightly to \”What is this little thing?\” 03. Face adolescence correctly 01 Parents first \”being themselves\” many parents, often: regard \”sacrificing\” themselves as their hearts; regard unilateral \”dedication\” as education. But parents have never thought that this kind of \”studying with you\” may increase the pressure on their children. 02 Allow trial and error and make mistakes. Many parents will always get angry because of their children’s slight mistakes and carelessness. I often complain: Why are my children so stupid? Why can\’t you learn no matter how you teach? But we always forget that every flower has its own flowering period. Children\’s growth takes time, and improvement in grades is never achieved overnight. 03 Use communication instead of preaching When children enter adolescence, many parents will find that the once magical educational tricks have failed at this moment. In fact, this is not difficult to understand – children are growing up every day. If parents’ educational methods are not updated and iterated in time, they will naturally lose their results due to gradually being inappropriate. For children at this stage, what parents need to do the most is communication. Adolescent children are neither adults nor children, they are unique individuals out of this awkward period. Remember one thing: no matterNo matter how fancy and sounding reasonable the educational method is, it may not be suitable for your children. Understanding your children is the biggest prerequisite for being able to do a good job in education. Teaching students according to their aptitude is the most useful way of education no matter at any time. Message: Education is about watching, not competing with the rebellion of adolescent children. Its essence is to \”grow up in a way that respects oneself more.\” Parents need to let go of their obsession with \”perfect children\” and accompany them through the pain of growth with tolerance and wisdom. The road of life is long, but the key points are often only a few steps. Only understand: the tear at the age of 14, the deep pit at the age of 17. Only by helping children survive the storm smoothly and move towards true maturity.