4 tips to improve children’s mental toughness

\”Resilience\” refers to a set of traits in an individual that can promote its successful adaptation to adversity and turn crises into positive forces. How to help children and adolescents face difficulties and setbacks rationally and enhance their \”resilience\” is a concern of many parents and teachers. For children and adolescents in adversity, resilience is a key force that helps them \”actively adapt\” to adversity. What are the important sources of resilience? How can parents master effective methods to improve the psychological resilience of children and adolescents? Let\’s look at it together – a sense of support is an important source of resilience. Resilience is not entirely innate. Although some studies have found that resilience has a certain genetic basis, the development of resilience depends more on individual differences, Risk and protective factors related to family background and social characteristics. For children and adolescents, the sense of support from the family situation and the community and school environment is an important source of the formation and development of their resilience. The Trauma and Resilience Laboratory of Nanjing Normal University conducted a questionnaire survey on senior primary school students and junior high school students in Jiangsu and Zhejiang areas and found that positive family parenting, a good school atmosphere and sufficient peer support are crucial to the development of adolescent resilience. Specifically, from the perspective of family structure, changes in parents\’ marriage or separation of parents and children will, to a certain extent, lead to a reduction in children\’s daily sense of security and support after encountering challenges, and they will easily lose the ability and initiative to seek emotional and psychological support from their parents. , causing certain damage to the adverse forces. From the perspective of parenting style, parents’ democratic and stable parenting style and support are helpful for the development of children’s resilience; however, over-protection or doting on children will limit their opportunities to grow in difficulties and improve their resilience; at the same time, Leaving things alone or refusing to provide help will strengthen the child\’s sense of helplessness after setbacks and is not conducive to the cultivation of resilience. In addition, high-quality social networks and rich social support are crucial to the formation of resilience. By promoting social connections between children and classmates and neighbors, it helps to form a supportive and encouraging good ecological environment, promotes the improvement of children and adolescents\’ sense of self-worth and efficacy when facing pressure and setbacks, and helps them to \”I can coping with stress and problems” mentality and ability to cope with adversity while promoting the development of resilience. Correctly understand the impact and mechanism of resilience. The main role of resilience is to promote individuals\’ positive adaptation to stress and difficulties. From the perspective of offsetting the negative impact of adversity, resilience allows individuals to make more use of their protective abilities and thereby reduce the negative impact of adversity on physical and mental health; from the perspective of emotional flexibility, having greater Individuals with a high level of resilience can flexibly regulate their emotions and adjust their emotional responses according to the environment and actual needs, thereby optimizing the use of their own resources, reducing unnecessary internal friction, and thus forming a long-term and stable ability to cope with difficulties. Research shows that higher levels of resilience can directly reduce depressive and anxiety symptoms, while resilience can also buffer and reduce the impact of cumulative environmental risks (negative factors at home, school, peers, and community) on depressive and anxiety symptoms. Influence. In addition, some studies in recent years have found that resilience can also help individuals turn difficulties or crises into positive forces., to promote positive change in individuals facing various traumatic events. This shows that resilience can not only help individuals cope with traumatic events, but also help individuals achieve post-traumatic growth and turn crises into opportunities. At present, some parents still have some misunderstandings about the concepts of \”resilience improvement\” and \”frustration education\”. For example, some parents believe that being very strict with their children or deliberately creating opportunities for their children to endure hardship, suffer, be ignored and punished is to cultivate their children\’s resilience. In fact, this understanding is one-sided and cannot really help. Children develop and improve their ability to cope with difficult situations. Many children who grow up in an environment that deliberately creates frustration and lacks support will be depressed, violent, or indifferent and alienated. They may be more tolerant of criticism and punishment than pampered children, but they may also be more prone to abuse or extremes. Master the effective methods to improve the resilience of children and adolescents. The \”Resilience Lights Up Life\” research team of the School of Psychology of Nanjing Normal University has found through practical verification that the following aspects are most effective in cultivating and improving the resilience of primary and secondary school students. The first is to help children develop a positive understanding of adversity and stress. A study published in the journal Nature found that when children and adolescents are helped to realize and accept that \”stress can bring opportunities and growth,\” they are more effective in coping with stress. This is to develop positive \”stress\” heart direction\”. The second is to teach children the skills to seek outside support and help when appropriate. In fact, being tough doesn’t mean “forcing it”, nor does it mean that you have to carry everything by yourself. When facing huge setbacks and inner pain, everyone instinctively needs the emotional recognition and support of others. Strong social support can not only buffer feelings of stress, but also bring richer and more effective solutions to problems, thereby helping to improve children\’s positive psychological quality. The third is to teach children the ability to flexibly regulate emotions. For example, learn to stimulate your own positive emotions, regulate your negative emotional experience, cultivate your ability to control and be aware of emotions, not be afraid of frustration, accept disappointment and powerlessness, and quickly adjust your emotions to a state full of peace and hope. . The fourth is to guide children to maintain confidence and belief in the future. Leading children and adolescents to establish a positive sense of confidence and belief is the main plan of mental health education. In addition to psychological education in cognitive, emotional and behavioral aspects, cultivating children and adolescents\’ inner sense of certainty and belief in the future is an educational direction that educators and parents need to keep in mind and practice. When children and adolescents encounter difficulties, if they can see the positive response of their families and society, and the optimistic explanations of their parents and peers, especially if their parents can personally face setbacks and pressure, and always maintain hope and expectations for the future, they will be better for them. It will have a great positive effect on the children, and the difficulties and pressures they are currently facing will also be mentally relieved. All in all, in order to improve the resilience of children and adolescents, we should neither overprotect children nor ignore their difficulties and needs. Instead, we should face difficulties with children and provide them with cognitive, thinking, emotional and skills onAll-round support helps children develop the ability and confidence to resist setbacks, and ultimately accompanies and guides children to gain a strong heart so that they can calmly cope with various difficulties and challenges on the road to growth.