A spoiled child will produce a treacherous son, but a stick will produce a filial son? !

A few days ago, a video went viral on the Internet: a junior high school boy kicked his mother five times in a row because he was not allowed to play with his mobile phone, just like he was kicking a hated enemy. My mother did nothing but dodge. The complete video, suggesting that such a bad behavior be turned on under wifi, touched the nerves of netizens, and everyone left messages. The one with the most likes is the one below, which has been recognized by more than 40,000 people. Other popular comments have similar views and have received more than 10,000 likes. Scroll down further, and the screen is still filled with shouts of \”fight\”. To be honest, I was really shocked when I saw the comments, even more shocked than when I saw the video. The screen was full of vicious comments, which was simply shocking. What makes me even more uneasy is that most people\’s view is that children who are so violent and disobedient and dare to attack adults are definitely out of habit and must be beaten before they can be educated. Surprisingly, tens of thousands of people agree with this view! Indeed, such behavior of children is very related to family education; moreover, it is very likely to be related to parents\’ doting. But here’s the point, spanking a child is really the worst way to educate a child! Your beating and scolding may make your child obedient for a while, but in the long run, he will definitely suffer. Research by American psychologist Jennifer Lansford (2015) found that children who are beaten and scolded by their parents: 1) will be afraid of their parents and feel that their parents do not love them, thus becoming low self-esteem, sensitive and anxious; 2) they will also imitate their parents\’ violent solutions Problem behaviors, showing increased aggression. Most of the well-behaved babies who are educated through \”suppression\” through beating and scolding are not really sensible. They are most likely because they are afraid. Therefore, there will be many sequelae when you grow up, and emotional and behavioral problems will become more prominent. At that time, the parents really regretted it and couldn\’t take it back. Pampering won\’t work, nor will beating or scolding. What should parents do to provide the best education for their children? 1. Continuously learn and empower children. The purpose of education is not to make children \”sensible and obedient\”; it is to make them grow up and continue to gain the ability to face life and obtain happiness. Many behavioral problems displayed by children reflect their lack of certain mental abilities. Just like the child in the video, he kicked his mother not because he wanted to but because he didn\’t know how to express his anger, so he chose violence by mistake. Therefore, what he needs is not the pampering and forgiveness of his parents, nor the beating and scolding to stop him, but to teach him the correct ability to \”anger management and control his own emotions\”. We want to educate capable children, not obedient children. Children\’s psychological abilities need to be cultivated from an early age, and parents and families are the best teachers. We take on this responsibility when we bring our children into the world. So, please keep learning, empower your children, and help them meet their better selves when they grow up! 2. Gentle yet firm, love and discipline are indispensable. Doting will make children lawless; beating and scolding will make them anxious and sensitive. When facing children, the best attitude is to be gentle but firm. First, be firm. As parents, we must stand firm in our stance and principles. Let your children know that no matter how you behave, DadThe rules and things decided by parents will never change no matter what. In this way, children can abide by the rules set together. Secondly, it is gentle. No matter what your child does wrong, as a parent you cannot lose control and please maintain a gentle emotion. Such an attitude will make it easier for children to accept their parents\’ guidance and feel their parents\’ love. This is definitely more effective than spanking the child and saying at the same time: \”Mom spanked you for your own good and because she loves you\”! Being a parent is a practice, and the growth of a child is also a mixture of pain and joy. It’s not easy for parents and children, so a family needs to support each other, do it and cherish it!