After a child falls asleep due to depression and falls out of school, parents feel deeply anxious and helpless. They must tell themselves these four words over and over again:

It’s the end of the year, and many children have been lying down for almost a year. What I hear most recently is: What should I do if my child plays with his mobile phone in black and white and doesn\’t go out all day? In fact, when I heard my parents say these words, I noticed their extreme anxiety and complete lack of acceptance. Faced with children who are tired of studying and addicted to games, parents have urged, beaten, scolded, and robbed them, but nothing has worked; children are becoming more and more addicted to games, and are annoying their parents in various ways, closing the door and refusing to communicate, parents said Ignore all the words. My parents were also disheartened, feeling that their \”good intentions were worth nothing\” and they had raised a \”white-eyed wolf\”. Parents want to help their children but the children don\’t accept it. Parents gradually feel a deep sense of powerlessness: What should they do? My suggestion is that parents keep four words in mind: take a step back. When the relationship between parents and children reaches a deadlock, and the parents\’ lives are wrapped in anxiety and fear, which even affects the child\’s state, then taking a step back is the best solution at present. By taking a step back, parents have time to adjust themselves; children also have space to breathe and think about their own problems. When anxiety is let go, there will be a positive flow of emotions between parents and children. So, how can we parents take a step back to help our children get better as soon as possible? Two steps: 1. Take a step back, \”play deaf and dumb\”, and return the child\’s affairs to the child. \”Playing deaf and dumb\” is a great wisdom for awakening parents. When a child laughs happily while playing games, we parents pretend not to hear; when we see a child not eating at night, we parents pretend not to see it, and we are hungry as long as we are hungry. Many parents will worry about this and that, fearing that their children will live in a mess without them and stop going to school at all. But in fact, this is a question of \”ownership of things.\” Think about it carefully. Whose business does it belong to if your child takes a break from school? It\’s a matter of children. Can we parents supervise our children throughout their lives? Can a child never grow up? We parents stand in the front, and our children know that our parents will always worry about them and take care of them, so they have no autonomy in growing up. They just stretch out their hands and open their mouths to do everything, expecting their parents to do everything. Only when we parents take a step back will our children\’s autonomy be stimulated. Understand that you have to take your own path in life. We parents must also realize this, and our children’s matters must still be left to the children to resolve. Moreover, when children drop out of school and lie down, it is a stage in their lives, not the end. How can the road of life be smooth? Children still have to take some detours by themselves, and children still have to bear some consequences. Thinking back, did you go through detours when you were young? Hit the south wall? Only by going out on your own, people will cherish success more and become more tenacious. These are very precious wealth. We parents take a step back and only guide, not lead; we only make suggestions, but do not make decisions. By returning autonomy to the children, parents will slowly let go, and those anxious emotions will gradually fade away. Moreover, parents can better serve as \”leaders\” by letting go of their anxiety and lead their children to change in a good direction. 2. Have positive expectations, see good changes in children, and believe that children will definitely become better. The reason why childrenThe reason for taking a break from school is that it is really impossible to continue studying at school at this stage, so I chose to return home to rest temporarily. I remember a student said this to us in June last year: \”I took a break from studying because of depression, and at that time I was full of negative thoughts. After returning home and resting for half a year, I obviously felt that my condition was much better, even Start looking for things to do for yourself and learn some computer knowledge that you like. \”When a child returns home after being depressed and quitting school, it is also a kind of \”regression\” to a certain extent, as if he has returned to his childhood and used his original childish and primitive way. Deal with the problem to reduce your anxiety. So we often say that we need to raise our children as babies again. Just like when a child is first learning to speak, are we recording the child\’s small changes with love and expectations? The same is true now. When children stay home from school, their status must have been adjusted. It is just because in the past, we were anxious and fearful and ignored many details. If we parents look at our children with a positive perspective, we will find that there are many small changes in our children: they woke up half an hour early today, are willing to go out for a walk in the evening, and go out to play with friends on weekends… These are all small attempts by children, which show that The child is getting better. At this time, we parents should also give timely positive feedback and tell our children: Mom found out that you got up half an hour early this morning. Mom was very happy, which means that you are slowly changing. For example, many children who have just come to Liangxi have negative opinions about themselves and have a low sense of self-worth. Our student instructors will convey firm beliefs through in-depth communication and tell the children \”we always believe in you\”; in various activities The Central Committee will pay attention to the children\’s good changes and praise the children, \”You did a great job. I noticed that you were very careful. You kept supporting the elderly when doing charity.\” The power of expectations is very powerful. We encourage and When we look at children with expectations, they will really get better and better as we expect.