After letting my children play with their phones for a while, I finally understood why Musk issued these warnings…

It is very interesting to see the analysis of the self-media blogger @王left中right: During the Spring and Autumn Period, the educational pressure was on teachers, and famous teachers were focusing on self-cultivation; during the Warring States Period, the educational pressure was on families, which began to influence the environment, so there was something like \”Meng Mu San\” In the Song Dynasty, everyone thought that it might be the fault of the father if the son did not teach, and the pressure was instantly put on the father; in the Ming and Qing Dynasties, fathers were so involved that they had various family letters and appraisals passed down to the world; and In modern times, the whole family rolls together. As the cost of education increased, the side effects came, and all forms of entertainment that affected educational outcomes began to be classified as \”ghosts and demons.\” Especially playing with mobile phones is a \”big worry\” for many modern parents. Some people believe that playing with mobile phones, especially short videos and games, can easily make children indulge in low-level pleasures, affect concentration, lose the ability to think independently, and thus become \”waste\”; others believe that in the information age, children cannot be restricted from accessing electronic products. , and the more restrictive it is, the more tempting it will be, which will intensify the child\’s desire to play with mobile phones. The mobile phone is just an information tool, and the impact it has only depends on the person who uses it. In the final analysis, what really needs to be solved is whether the child is addicted. But this is also the hardest part. It wasn’t until I played with my daughter on my phone for 7 days that I finally found the answer… 01 When my daughter just went on vacation, with the original intention of being an enlightened mother, we had a cordial and friendly conversation: \”Mom, I’m on vacation.” “You need to combine work and rest during the vacation so that you can become a good young man with all-round development of morality, intelligence, body, and art.” “Well, I mean… I’m on vacation. Can I play with my mobile phone every day?” “… …\” \”I only play for two hours a day, and I make sure to play only after finishing my homework for the day. When the time is up, I turn it off, go to bed early, and don\’t get addicted without recharging… Haha, mom, don\’t you think it rhymes? \”…\” \”Mom, why don\’t you smile? Is it because you don\’t like to laugh by nature?\” Looking at my daughter\’s slender face, I reminded her over and over again that I wanted to be a loving mother, and finally agreed with her on the time to play on the phone. , playing mobile phone content and a series of non-friendly agreements with less than equal regulations. In fact, what the naughty child didn’t know was that, without her telling me, I originally planned to let her play with her mobile phone to relax during the holidays. After all, it’s not good to restrict the child too much. It’s better to trust her more. Moreover, I also plan to accompany her throughout the process and find a way to guide her not to become addicted to it. However, I overestimated her self-control and underestimated the addictive power of mobile phones. 02In the beginning, my daughter and I were very restrained in using mobile phones. I only play for a while after dinner in the evening. She does homework in the morning, has free time in the afternoon, and plays with her mobile phone in the evening. But after a few days, the situation developed completely out of control. First, we play with our phones later and later. Sometimes I feel like I have to set a good example and only wait for her to fall asleep before sneaking back to my bedroom to play. As a result, when we opened the door to the toilet, we both took out our mobile phones. The faint light reflected two faint faces, which almost scared each other half to death. Later, in order to cope with my surprise inspection, she directly locked the bedroom door. She also gets up later and later in the morning, which directly affects her efficiency in doing homework in the morning. I have secretly observed that whenever I play with my mobile phone at night and fall asleep late,, when I see her doing her homework in the morning, it’s hard to concentrate. She basically writes for a while before running to the toilet. Of course, you have to bring a mobile phone with you when you go to the toilet, because your legs are not numb. What pisses me off the most is that she said she would only play at night every day, but now in the afternoon, she starts to find all kinds of excuses not to go out. When she doesn\’t go out, she starts checking her phone. At the beginning, I also talked to her several times sincerely, because our parent-child relationship has a good foundation and my daughter is more obedient to me. But as time went on, it stopped working. After talking too much, my patience was exhausted, and communication turned into accusations. Especially when I saw her finishing her homework, not going to interest classes, and just sitting there with a dull look on her face playing with her mobile phone, I became even more angry. The most annoying thing is that she started to lie frequently and lose her temper just to play with her mobile phone. 03 Actually, I understand her very well. Even adults can\’t resist the temptation of mobile phones, let alone children whose mental development is immature. But because when I was a teacher, I personally saw many children whose learning was affected by playing with mobile phones, so I was worried that this was a bad start. At this time, I thought of the boy Gao Zhanxi in \”Metamorphosis\”. After he was exchanged to the city, he was exposed to video games and soon became addicted to them. The simple and diligent child before disappeared. But my father, who was far away in the mountains, woke up with a sick phone call and brought him back to reality: \”My wheat is ripe, it\’s time to wake up from my dream.\” So, I followed the instructions first, and when I was eating with my daughter, Pretending to unintentionally reveal that he had a hard job, he then led the reason bit by bit to the fact that he didn\’t study well because he played games when he was a student. It\’s okay if I don\’t say it. When I say it, my daughter becomes energetic. \”Mom, what game were you playing back then? Was it fun? How did you play? Why don\’t you take me to play?\” After restraining my desire to kick her away, I continued to think of a way. Haven\’t many education experts said that children\’s addiction to mobile phones may be due to insufficient parental companionship. There was a 36-year-old mother online. In order to prevent her son from staying at home and playing games, she took her son to ride for more than 700 kilometers. Not only did she have enough companionship, but the health of both mother and son was also improved. But I look back at my body that I gained after gaining weight for a year, and then I think about the high mountains and long roads, and it’s the Chinese New Year, so I should just have a good rest, why do I have to think about it. I can’t go out, and it’s the same at home. So, a vigorous event began, full of mother\’s love and company in the name of cultivating children\’s healthy holiday lifestyle (to do justice for heaven). Well, I failed again! I put down my phone and stared at my daughter for the whole day. I was so full of motherly love that I couldn\’t keep her company, but my daughter didn\’t want it anymore: \”Mom, you keep staring at me like this, it makes me feel bad!\” I sighed. It\’s so sad. My old mother is so sad. Can\’t do it. If you are too soft, then you have to be tough. After I threatened my daughter with pocket money and ordered her to hand over her mobile phone, and tried to reason with her emotionally, my daughter looked at me, closed the door, and sent a message: \” \”Grandma, if you can\’t do it, please ask my mother to go home for the New Year…\” 04 refused to eat hard or soft, the old mother was really panicked, so she could only use her mobile phone to relieve her mood. As soon as I turned on my phone, the algorithm recommended many articles about the dangers of being addicted to mobile phones. Although they are all clichés, I saw an article titled Musk’s warning about children playing with mobile phones.I couldn’t help but click in: Watching short videos can easily activate addictive behaviors in the brain, leading to damage to memory and concentration. right! The algorithm recommends videos that we like to watch. The more we watch, the more addictive we become, and the more time we spend on our phones. right! After the brain adapts to the strong dopamine stimulation of mobile phones, it becomes prone to depression and anxiety. right! Using smartphones for too long can shrink children’s developing brains. right! I sighed with lingering fear: \”With the excessive use of electronic products, the brain is filled with fragmented information, and the nerves are constantly stimulated at high intensity. It is really scary!\” Unknowingly, two hours have passed. My daughter came out and stood I held my mobile phone in front of me: \”Mom, I want to report you for not leading by example!\” 05 After deeply reflecting on myself, I discovered a truth that I had to face: It is too difficult not to be addicted to mobile phones. And our thinking has long been affected by the content on our phones. Just like when I was trying to solve the problem of my child being addicted to mobile phones, I would subconsciously turn to the mobile phone instead of analyzing the real reasons behind the child\’s apparent problem. Including when searching for solutions, the first choice is to click on content with titles such as \”Teach you how to solve the problem of children being addicted to mobile phones in one minute\” and \”Three sentences to stop your children from touching mobile phones.\” We have become too accustomed to this pseudo-efficient rhythm of solving problems quickly and giving conclusions in two parts. Children, too. This is the real harm that addiction to mobile phones brings to children, and it is also the only way we can solve this problem. In fact, although it is difficult to allow children to play moderately while preventing them from becoming addicted, it is not completely impossible. In the past few days of battling wits and courage with my daughter, I also gained some experience. After combining the methods of other parents, I found some methods. 061. Give your children some time to calm down with short videos and online games. The biggest problem is that they are too fast, too fast for them to calm down and think. But learning is precisely the process that requires spending a lot of time to calm down, focus, think, and become enlightened a little bit. After finding the crux of the problem, I began to borrow some experience to cultivate the habit of calming down for my daughter: First, there is nothing better than reading to cultivate the habit of calming down in children. I first took her to find some environments suitable for reading, such as placing the reading place directly in the study room of the library to let her calm down passively. However, when choosing types of books for children, it is recommended to start with interests and gradually develop the habit of long-term reading in children. Second, hobby psychologist Mihaly proposed that when we are engaged in things that we like, challenge, and are good at, such as playing ball, dancing, musical instruments, etc., we can easily experience a state of concentration and selfless flow. But because flow can be addictive, we need to guide children to experience flow through some positive interest activities. The best way to divert attention is to give your child new interests. When children find something that they are really interested in, they will put down their mobile phones and take the initiative to do it without urging. 2. Properly arrange the \”stretch zone\” for learning. \”Cognitive Awakening\” mentions that when arranging study plans, we should always keep ourselves in the stretch zone between the comfort zone and the difficulty zone. In the difficult zone, too difficult, too easyProduce a fear of difficulty; if you are in the comfort zone and the difficulty is too small, it can easily turn into low-quality diligence. Only in the middle stretching zone is a bit difficult, but you can complete it if you work hard, so you can have both a sense of challenge and a sense of accomplishment. To put it bluntly, when expectations are greater than desires and there is no patience to support them, anxiety will easily arise. If your emotions are dominated by anxiety, you will want to escape. At this time, you will naturally give first priority to instant happiness that makes your brain more relaxed. 3. Companionship is for growing up together. Dong Yuhui once talked in the live broadcast room when parents consulted and didn’t know how to help their children study well. He said, at least, create a learning environment for children. If parents like to read, they can sit next to their children and read. If they don\’t want to read, they can take a walk, exercise, or do other things. You want your child to see that you are growing up with him. The best companionship, not supervision, is to make the child realize that you are accompanying him to get better. 07 Some people say that it is too difficult to be a parent, and you have to live your life as a hexagonal warrior. In fact, this is not the case. The really difficult thing about being parents is that we have to provide good support for them. What kind of family education background, what kind of future children will be raised? How can there be so many naturally self-disciplined children? Behind them is nothing more than countless boring and repetitive guidance from their parents over and over again. I hope my story can inspire others and give some reference to parents who are constantly moving forward on the road of parenting. We also hope that with our continuous scientific, positive and positive guidance, our children will be able to realize the greatest value of their lives in the future.