Be careful how you manage your emotions, it can become a disaster in your child\’s life

I was on duty at the school gate that day. As usual, I looked at the cute smiling faces and said \”good morning\” to every child. Dabao and Xiaobao are twin little boys. Their mother sent the two children to the door to prepare to leave. The child lost his temper and rushed towards his mother\’s battery car while crying. Mom bent down and comforted her for a while, but Dabao still had no intention of entering the campus. Without paying attention, my mother slapped her twice. I was shocked. When I recovered, I immediately pulled the child away from my mother. After his mother\’s \”emotional storm\”, Dabao cried even harder, turning into hysterical crying and jumping up and down even more. My mother got angry and wanted to beat her. I quickly carried Dabao into the class and prevented this emotional disaster. Maybe the mother is in a hurry to go to work and wants to make Dabao stop crying quickly. Maybe the child is too annoying and has been having trouble at home for a while, and the mother has lost patience. No matter what the reason is, emotional outbursts will not solve any problem. Children who cry will cry more, and children who bully will bully even more. The mother\’s uncontrollable emotions are a disaster for the child. This disaster is enough to collapse the child\’s inner security fortress. It takes a lot of effort to build the fortress, but it only takes an adult\’s emotional disaster to dismantle it. Dabao and Xiaobao are extremely introverted and timid, which has a lot to do with their mother being hysterical from time to time. One morning I found several fingerprints on Xiaobao\’s face and two bloody noses, which were obviously traces of beatings. We felt distressed and asked the child what was wrong. After asking several times, the child just shook his head aggrievedly. Finally, Xiaobao cried and said, \”I\’m not good. I don\’t want to drink milk. Mom is angry.\” I really can\’t reconcile this glass of milk with the fingerprints. Bloody nose and runny nose are equivalent. If you don\’t drink this glass of milk, you may feel a little hungry in the morning at most. If you are hungry, just eat more at noon, and it won\’t cause much damage. However, these finger prints and bloody noses bring scars on the child\’s heart that are difficult to heal. They can even heal themselves psychologically once or twice, but long-term emotional storms bring character flaws to the child, or Cowardly, timid, or autistic. Your out-of-control emotions will eventually bring disaster to your children. Adults\’ out-of-control emotions will have a psychological impact on children and may directly lead to negative consequences. There was a very shocking news last year: a 9-year-old boy lost his mobile phone when he went out to play alone. The boy knew that his mother would scold him if he lost his cell phone. He searched outside for several hours but still couldn\’t find it, crying in the snow. After returning home, the mother was very angry. She tied up the child\’s hands, feet, and body with tape, and beat her with a wooden stick from 6 p.m. to 11 a.m. with breaks, and only fed her a few sips of water. The next day, the child lay on the cold floor of his room wearing only autumn clothes and long trousers, and closed his eyes forever. Neighbors said that the child\’s mother was polite to others, but was \”flammable and explosive\” to Ming Ming. She would beat her child every three days, and she was very ruthless. Some neighbors even cried and said that the poor child was relieved. I saw on the news that the child\’s mother was arrested with the approval of the procuratorate. The boy\’s father said that the child\’s mother was sadder than anyone else. It is the greatest tragedy in this world to have to endure the pain of losing a child and also endure the disaster of prison.. There is no mother who does not love her child. The culprit of the tragedy is the mother\’s own uncontrollable emotions. If she could turn back time, this mother would control her emotions no matter what, and patiently teach her children to take good care of their belongings. Instead of a violent storm, using emotional vent to accuse the child of his mistakes, which eventually gets out of hand and leads to bad consequences. How can a mobile phone be equated with the child\’s life. There is a sentence in \”The Book of Songs, Daya, and Yi\”: \”Instruct me earnestly, and listen to me.\” The same is to achieve the purpose of education. Why not control your emotions and inspire and educate children sincerely and patiently. Why use the \”storm style\” to hurt your children and make yourself sad. Physical wounds will heal sooner or later, but mental wounds are difficult to heal. Even if the mother\’s emotional out-of-control does not cause direct consequences to the child as shown in the news, it will cause irreparable damage to the child\’s character and psychology. If things go on like this, it will have an impact on the way children treat others, family, marriage, and children when they become adults. When I was walking a few nights ago, I came across a mother and a little boy riding a bicycle. A car was turning when the child was crossing the road, and the mother shouted from behind to stop the child. The little boy was immersed in his own world and didn\’t hear his mother\’s words. The mother ran over and grabbed the child\’s bicycle, but she would have been hit by a car a second later. The mother may be a little scared and reprimanded loudly: \”I told you to stop, didn\’t you hear? Mom is calling you from behind, why are you still riding forward!\” The little boy stayed where he was, motionless, looking at his mother. The mother continued to scold loudly, and the little boy began to cry. A few minutes later, the mother asked the little boy to ride his bike home, but the boy refused to ride the bike no matter what. For the children, the \”wind play\” after dinner is extremely happy and they can feel the joy of riding a bicycle. But this time, it was a sudden car and my mother\’s violent storm. The direct result is doubt and fear about riding a bicycle. If the mother controls her emotions, emphasizes the precautions for crossing the road with her children, and warns her children of the serious consequences of not paying attention to the traffic, the same effect can be achieved. No child is stupid enough to hit the car even though he knows it is dangerous. There is a child in our class who is very big. The children call him Brother Fan. His father has an extremely bad temper. Whenever he does something wrong, he will inevitably be scolded or even beaten by his father. Once when communicating with his mother, the mother said that the child dreamed at night and cried: \”Dad, don\’t hit me.\” This child is \”untouchable\” when getting along with other children, cries whenever something happens, and is also very sensitive. Parents\’ emotional disaster brings a sense of control and oppression to their children. Children who grow up in such an environment tend to go to two extremes. One is cowardly, sensitive, timid, commonly known as \”a doormat\”. Think about it, even your own parents can bully him, who else can\’t bully him? Woolen cloth. The other extreme is the tendency to violence. When he is oppressed in this way, he can only \”subdue\” the other party by being stronger than the other party. The essence of violent tendency is vulnerability. Don\’t let your emotions become a disaster for your child. My inability to control my emotions may be due to the influence of my family of origin.We are always repeating the lives of our parents, and even the way we raise our children unconsciously repeats our parents\’ ways. And you are your child\’s family of origin. When you want to get angry, think about it, maybe your child will continue this wrong way to his children and pass it on from generation to generation. How terrible this is. Control your emotions in time, and calm preaching is often more effective than \”yelling\”. Maybe you are very busy at work and have a lot of housework, which makes you lose patience with your children and try to use emotional outbursts to make your children \”obedient\”. None of this can be the cause of emotional loss. If we work harder and spend more time thinking about how to communicate with our children, we can achieve better educational results. Carson McCartney once said: Children\’s young minds are very delicate organs. A cold beginning will twist their minds into grotesque shapes. An injured child\’s heart will shrink to the point where it will remain as hard as a peach core and full of deep grooves throughout its life. Every father and mother want to give the best love to their children. May every heart be intact and be treated tenderly at the very beginning of life. So, you must control your emotions and don\’t let your emotions become a disaster for your children. Whenever you feel the urge to yell at your child, say to yourself: \”My child is so beautiful, but I am so grumpy. This is not good! It is not good!\”