Being irritable and throwing tantrums is a sign of incompetence. How much harm will it do to the baby?

Since becoming mothers, many mothers have lost their temper. Regardless of whether it is a baby who is just one month old or a 2 or 3 year old who is noisy, there will always be times when a mother cannot help but lose her temper, and then regret it after she loses her temper. Some parents may think that losing their temper is a trivial matter, but a parent\’s bad mood will not only annoy the baby, but also cause greater harm to the baby! Experiment Description Ed Tronick, a professor of psychology at the University of Manchester, conducted a very famous still face experiment. The experiment is as follows: ❶Before the experiment started, the mother and the baby interacted normally, and it was obvious that the baby was very happy. ❷The still face experiment started. The mother’s face was expressionless. The baby noticed something was wrong and began to think of ways to attract the mother’s attention. ❸The baby continues to try to get the mother to interact with him, but the mother remains expressionless. ❹Finally the baby started to collapse and cry. During this time when the mother is unresponsive to him, the baby\’s heart races and stress hormones increase in his body. Parents\’ negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, and indifference have a great impact on newborn babies. They may form insecure attachment relationships or accumulate many negative emotions in their bodies that cannot be managed. Of course, in the most severe cases, their brain development may be affected. In fact, the impact of mother\’s emotions on the baby starts from the fetal period. If you are often in a bad mood during pregnancy, your baby\’s intelligence, physique, physical development, etc. may be affected, and your baby may be more difficult to maintain after birth. They are restless, prone to crying, have poor sleep quality, and have digestive dysfunction and poor adaptability. Ability is also poor. Why can\’t we lose our temper? \”Treasuring children for a long time is very stressful, and lack of sleep makes it easier to have an emotional breakdown, which is difficult to control!\” However, in life, if the behavior of friends, clients, and leaders does not meet our expectations, it does not meet our expectations. Ask, will we be unable to control our emotions and lose our temper at them? Why can we control our emotions in society but not with our babies? Because children are weaker than us, this corresponds to the \”kicking the cat effect\” in psychology. The kicking cat effect refers to the chain reaction caused by venting dissatisfaction on an object that is weaker than oneself or whose level is lower than oneself. People\’s dissatisfaction and bad mood will generally be transmitted along the chain of social relationships composed of hierarchy and strength, spreading from the top of the pyramid to the bottom, and babies happen to be the weakest element. Careful parents can record their own tantrums to see if they encountered something unpleasant before they lost their temper with their baby. It might be a problem at work, it might be that the husband is not doing his best, or it might be that the mother-in-law did something. Things… Now look back at the baby, are we taking advantage of the situation? Methods to restore sanity 1: Throw away the perfect expectations for children. Children will not behave as expected. We adults have also practiced for 20 or 30 years to reach the point where we are today, so children spill their food all over the floor and are naughty. Parents should not become hysterical when they are making trouble or making trouble. Losing their temper to this extent will make them angry in the end. 2. \”Dumping bad emotions\” If you know that you are unhappy in advance, you can\’t lose your temper directly at the baby at this time. If you have bad emotions,, please \”pour it out\” first. You can talk about the things you are unhappy about, reorganize the incident, adjust your emotions, or pause all actions, take a deep breath and count, look into the distance, etc., and then look back at the baby\’s things after calming down. 3. Leave for a short time or change someone to take care of you. Tell your child that you are angry and need to calm down. Go to another room to calm down temporarily. When the anger subsides, return to the room and continue to communicate with your child. If there are other adults at home, you can change the person to take care of the child and temporarily communicate with the child. 4. Set \”keywords\” in advance. You can discuss a \”keyword\” with your child in advance. For example, whenever you want to get angry, your baby will say \”Mom, I love you.\” This \”Mom, I love you\” is the \”keyword\” , agree on the key words, and the person who loses his temper must stop when the baby says the key words. After reading this article, Xiaokang Jun would like to say one more thing. It is very bad to lose your temper all the time, but it is okay to lose your temper in a controlled manner occasionally. Appropriate emotional feedback from mothers can help children establish rules and bottom lines. For example, some When a child is unhappy, he punches and kicks his parents. If he doesn\’t express his attitude and explain things clearly, it\’s hard for Mr. Xiaokang to imagine what his child will become when he grows up. Losing your temper needs to be corrected, but it cannot be overcorrected! The article mentions the impact of mother\’s emotions on children because usually it is the mother who takes care of the child, and the baby\’s rations are also provided by the mother. Mothers and children have a better innate connection than other people. In fact, all people who take care of children Emotions will have an impact on children. In addition, if the mother loses her temper frequently, family members should reflect on whether they have helped the mother, especially whether the father\’s role is adequate. Only by working together as a family can this problem be better solved.