Child, why did your mother hit you?

As a mother, have you ever spanked your child? Do you remember why you spanked your child? I have a friend who is a primary school teacher and is rated as an educational model every year. She never spanked any student but spanked one child, her own son. From elementary school to junior high school and high school, my son was very competitive and always a top student. In this year\’s final exam for his sophomore year of high school, he still ranked first in his grade. Perhaps in the eyes of others, such a good student is also a good child at home. He loves to learn and is obedient, so he will not be beaten. But in fact, children are often beaten when they are in elementary school. After going to junior high school, I have grown up and become sensible, so I will naturally not be beaten. At first, when she hit her son, her parents-in-law would stop her, and her husband would protect the child. But before she could hit her son, her son would scream and help troops would be called in. Even if no one goes against the grain to protect the child, hitting him in front of so many people in the family will naturally hurt the child\’s self-esteem. Later, she chose a time when she and her son were alone at home to exercise the right of \”beating is a kiss\”. Before each spanking, she would ask herself: Why should I spank my child? Are you beating him to vent your emotions, or to educate your children? If you are just venting your emotions, control yourself and don\’t hit your child. What mistake did he make to deserve such punishment? Because the child lied, because the child played with fire, because the child fought – if you don\’t beat him, will he make such mistakes again? Is there any other way for him to correct these mistakes? If so, give up on hitting him. Perhaps one sentence can explain why your mother beats you, that is: education is not everything. I also spanked my children, when my son was in kindergarten and he was more than five years old. I took my son to visit a friend\’s house. When I came back, I was sitting on the bus. My son took out a small toy and started playing with it. I didn\’t buy this for him at all. My son answered honestly: This is the toy of the friend\’s child I bought. He likes to play, so he keeps it in his pocket. I asked my son why he didn’t just say it if he liked it and wanted it, and it was fine to tell the children, aunt and mother. My son lowered his head and whispered: I was worried that you wouldn’t give it to me, so I secretly kept it in my pocket. Seeing my son\’s attitude of admitting his mistake, I didn\’t criticize him harshly. I just told him that he would never take other people\’s things again. If he wanted something, just tell his mother directly. A few days later, my son took out fifty yuan and asked me to accompany him to buy new toys. He said that the money was given to him by an older brother who bought his old toys yesterday. I was skeptical. My son never lied, so I bought toys with him. On the way back, I happened to meet the big brother he was talking about. After asking, I found out that my son had lied. When I got home, I asked my son to lie down on the sofa obediently and prepare to be punished. Before he could be beaten, my son did it and the 50 yuan was secretly taken from my wallet. He wanted to buy toys. Although he had already bought several toys during this period, he still wanted to buy more, so he stole his mother\’s money, made up a story, and got new toys. The son cried bitterly and said that he was wrong and would never dare to do it again. He softened his heart and asked his son to write a guarantee that he would never lie or steal his mother\’s money again and spare him. afternoon a week later, I was dozing off on the sofa, and in my daze, I saw my son take out my wallet and take out two ten-yuan notes from it. What a little guy, even though I spared him last time, he got even more aggressive and arrogant, daring to steal money right under my mother\’s nose. I yelled: What are you doing? My son trembles, everyone will get the stolen goods. How can you deny it? This time, no matter what, he will not be lenient and punished harshly. He will not change. If he continues to be soft-hearted, it will harm him. Last time it was 50 yuan, this time it was 20 yuan, a total of 70 yuan, one dollar a slap. There is also the child\’s toy that was stolen last time. Although it was worth 3 yuan, because it belonged to someone else, he was punished ten times and given 30 lashes. Count errors and penalties, a total of 100 blows will be required. After one slap, my son\’s buttocks became red. After two slaps, my son\’s buttocks became swollen. My hands were also red and swollen. Three times, four times, five times. When beating her son, the mother\’s heart also hurts, but besides beating, is there any other way? He was so young that he didn\’t realize the seriousness of the mistake. Beating is to let him know that he will definitely be punished if he makes a mistake, and he will never do it again in the future. For children, this is the most severe punishment. It is not only physical pain, but also a psychological warning. After ten blows, my son cried hoarsely and said he would change, he would definitely change. I stopped and told him sternly that he still owed 90 swats, and if he did it next time, the punishment would be doubled. The beating will only hurt more and hurt more than this time. I asked him to look at my red and swollen hands and said: You made a mistake, and my mother will accompany you to be punished. This beating made the son completely correct his mistakes. Since then, he has never made similar mistakes again. Later, I talked about this matter with my son who was in elementary school. He said that he did not blame his mother at all. He was still young and ignorant at that time and should be beaten. When the earnest persuasion fails, when the severe criticism is of no avail, perhaps only beating is the last magic weapon that mother can think of to suppress your childhood lying, greed, and naughtiness. Only in this way can you know what What is right and what is wrong. The education we received when we were young is that children should be obedient. If they are disobedient or cause trouble to their parents, they will be beaten. It is natural and right. But when we grow up, the whole society changes its perspective. Children are pure and innocent. Any problems that arise in children are all problems of their family of origin and their parents. It\’s either that the parents\’ methods of educating their children are wrong, or that the relationship between the parents is not good, or the parents lack care and communication for their children. If you hit your child, you just don’t understand education. If you treat your child in a rough way, it will cause harm to the child’s psychology and have a huge impact on the child’s healthy growth. Many people say that spanking children is a sign of parents’ most incompetence and helplessness. Many parents have this feeling: Today’s children are too difficult to manage. When we were young, our parents had absolute authority, and few people dared to talk back to them. When an adult glares, the child will be frightened and run away. There is no need to hit him, and he will be naturally obedient. But now some children are rebellious and full of personality. They cannot listen to anything their parents say.When seeing a child like this, it is natural that he has a headache and is helpless. Besides beating him, is there any other better way? You are older, I don’t need to hit you, you already understand many things. When you were young and weak, I would never hit you. I hit you at a specific time and for a specific reason. If I criticize you, scold you, quarrel with you, scold you, and you can correct your mistakes, why should I hit you? When I hit you, it hurts your body, but it hurts your mother\’s heart. When I beat you, you will understand that there are some mistakes that you cannot make. If you make them, you will be punished and beaten. This is the rule. The well-known writer Bi Shumin expressed the feelings of many mothers: My child, how much I don’t want to hit you, but I have to! How much I don’t want to hit you, but I have to hit you! All this is just because I am yours Mother! Child, hitting or not hitting is love, do you understand?