Children are more afraid of losing love than saying sorry for being late.

I often find myself making silly jokes with my son. Sometimes it feels like it’s really nothing, but children tend to take it seriously. This is why I often lament that children’s little world is so different from ours. The day before yesterday, when I came home from school and was changing my shoes in the aisle, I waved my foot that I had just returned from cycling in front of my son\’s nose, and he happened to be squatting there to change his shoes. Of course, I thought he wouldn\’t be angry, since using socks like stink missiles was a common game we both played. His mother couldn\’t bear to see us being so sloppy, but this was a little secret between father and son. Seeing me like this, he had to let me smell his smelly feet. Even if I lift my feet as high as I can, they still can\’t reach me. I didn\’t want to squat down and cooperate with him, but went to prepare dinner. The little guy disagreed. He insists that I listen to him. So there was a stalemate. Finally he started crying and called me a bad dad. express his dissatisfaction. I listened to him crying and started thinking about diverting his attention. Asked him about something at school, but to no avail. He still refused to give in, it had to be this way. Seeing him lose his temper like this, I started to get a little angry, and I also thought about losing my temper and suppressing him. Many people know that this is the most effective way. Because a lot of times, that\’s what our parents do. When faced with a noisy child, no matter what the reason is, if the child cannot explain, he will usually resort to violence. Even if they see a disobedient child outside, many people will secretly say: beat him. \”I\’m used to it. Three kind words are worth one stick.\” When children see angry parents, they usually choose to compromise. Compromise after compromise. But I understand the harm of doing so. Children hide their true emotions. Even sacrificing your true self and obeying your parents. Parents, on the other hand, will exercise their \”privilege\” recognized by society with peace of mind. Why not apologize? Why are apologies always late? Don\’t dare to speak out? When facing your child crying helplessly, please consider whether you really did something wrong. In fact, in that situation, the child no longer knows what to do. Because they often feel powerless when facing their parents. Because he is still unable to survive independently and cannot leave his parents. But I still want to express my thoughts. At this time, he needs clear signals from his parents. Acceptance and reconciliation or violent suppression? I hesitated for a while, then apologized to my son: \”I\’m sorry! I think dad\’s joke was a bit big today. Please stop crying.\” But to no avail, he kept sobbing. But it has started to calm down a lot. This is the best emotional buffering time. I walked over, squatted down in front of him seriously, and picked him up: \”I\’m really sorry. Dad won\’t make this joke next time. Don\’t be angry, okay.\” When I put him down again, I was already relieved. An apology can calm emotions, but a hug helps children and parents connect and accept each other. The feeling of intimacy is back. Then the little guy played happily at home again. Saying \”I\’m sorry\” sincerely to our children is something that many of us parents have never done in our lives. Although everyone knows there are problems with this. Because parents are not almighty gods, they will definitely make mistakes. But there are very few parents who are willing to apologize. They often look atOnly when the child cried like a tearful child did he give in. But inside I was still reluctant. Many people have a child inside who will never apologize. Because when these children were young, few people taught them to apologize. In fact, sometimes, being able to take the initiative to apologize and admit your mistakes can often lead to better results. And parents are their children\’s best teachers. There is a scene that I like very much in the movie \”Heartbeat\”. After the girl\’s parents quarreled, they said to her: We will definitely solve it. This is definitely not your fault. That night, they took turns going to the girl\’s room, apologizing to her and telling her that parents will always love each other and will always love you, which gave the child great peace of mind. Such behavior not only allows children to see their parents\’ courage and willingness to take on mistakes. More importantly, it gives the child a full sense of security. Unfortunately, many parents are never willing to apologize, even if they hurt their children. I remember that I had a friend who ran away from home one time when he was in middle school. At that time, everyone in our village went out to look for him, so the memory is still fresh to this day. Three days later, a fellow villager from the next town brought him back, dying of hunger. His departure this time was actually inevitable. Because his parents had been quarreling for a long time, they quarreled in front of him, smashed the pots and cabinets, and said they wanted a divorce. Of course, they didn\’t leave in the end, but they quarreled again and again. He said he didn\’t want to see his parents like this and would run away from home if they continued to act like this. My parents were a little wary at first, but then they became the same again. From beginning to end, he never saw anyone apologize or give in to anyone. In the end, they would have a cold war for a while, then spend time together, and then they would argue and have a cold war again. He really ran away from home that time. Who knows how broken his heart was at that time. Many years later, he got married. But he also became the man who never apologized. Even if he was wrong, he still had a straight face, as if he could do anything to me. Very much like his father. He eventually divorced his wife. My son and myself, my daughter and my wife. He said that he had never believed in marriage. Maybe I saw too much pain in marriage when I was young. In fact, he is repeating the misfortune of his parents back then. In fact, it is normal for couples to have conflicts over one thing. But you must remember to tell your children. Tell your child that this is not your fault, but that your parents failed to control their temper. We are also working hard to correct it. Let the child feel that his parents trust and respect him. Why don\’t you apologize, because many people have a perfect plot. I feel that I cannot let my children see my weaknesses. Especially parents who position themselves as \”judges\” believe deep down that they must never tell their children that they are wrong. Afraid of affecting one\’s authority in front of children. But, what kind of parents do we want our children to see? I think we need to let our children see who we really are. \”Baby, I feel pain too, please be careful.\” \”I feel uncomfortable too, because I remember my childhood.\” \”I find that my temper is really bad, but I\’m already working hard. Are you willing to help me?\” ?\” \”I\’m sorry, it\’s dad\’s fault. I will try my best not to make this mistake a second time. Please supervise me.\” \”Dad has been in a really bad mood recently because of the incident.When we sincerely confide in our children, we often get unexpected results. Children will understand you better and get closer to you. There are no perfect children, and there are no perfect parents. Only when we face ourselves calmly Only by imperfection can we understand the child\’s feelings better and avoid hurting the child. When you are really wrong, please remember to say sorry to the child! When you say \”I\’m sorry\” to the child, he will I feel that I have been recognized. If you want your children to dare to admit their mistakes and live sincerely, first ask parents, especially fathers, to say \”I\’m sorry\” to their children in an upright and upright manner. This is the power of example through words and deeds.