Compared with spanking and scolding, these 4 things hurt children the most!

Parents all over the world have a common wish, hoping that their children will grow up healthily and happily. No parent would intentionally hurt their children, but often inadvertently, they leave indelible scars on their children\’s young minds. Parents should not think that only spanking and scolding can cause harm to their children. The harm to children caused by the following four practices should not be underestimated. Unfortunately, many parents have ignored them. Devaluing children In life, we often see this situation: two parents get together. Parent A: Your child studies really hard and ranks first in every exam. Unlike the one in our family, he is only naughty and mischievous. They don\’t even bother me. Parent B: My child acts like a dull gourd all day long. He doesn’t know how to say hello to anyone he meets. What’s so good about it? Your children have such flexible minds, they will definitely have great potential in the future! Do these two parents really think that other people’s children are excellent and their own children are inferior? Of course not, they are just thoroughly implementing the traditional virtue of modesty and shortening the distance between them. In addition, many parents also like to compare themselves with \”other people\’s children\” in front of their children. They also say it is for the good of their children, in order to stimulate their fighting spirit and make them remember. But, is this kind of \”modestness\” and \”good for the children\” based on the premise of belittling the children really good? What will the children who hear these words think? They will feel that their dignity has been hit, they will feel ashamed, and their self-esteem will become lower. If this happens too often and over time, it will develop a child\’s low self-esteem and negative mentality. Teacher Fan Wei, a special lecturer at Parents’ Must-Read Lecture, said that parents should not easily belittle their children or hurt their self-esteem at any time. It is easy to make a child lose self-esteem, but it is a very slow and difficult process to rebuild a child\’s self-esteem. Rui Ma has seen too many parents like this. They like to regard their children as the final point of their life\’s hard work and efforts. They always think that they wake up early and work hard at night, and live frugally, all for the sake of their children. In order to motivate children and let them achieve their own expectations, they always instill in them the hardships and difficulties of life, for fear that the children will not know how much hardship they have suffered for them. Many times, parents just talk about it, but they may plant seeds in their children\’s sensitive hearts, affecting them for a lifetime. Parents\’ complaints are like a huge stone, weighing down the children and making them breathless. They have been burdened with a burden that should not have been borne early on. They will feel guilty, blame themselves, and always feel that they have caused their parents to suffer. As a result, they will become introverted and have low self-esteem. Because they are always surrounded by the difficulties of life, they dare not express their inner demands and desires to their parents, and thus become psychologically depressed. Children\’s perceptive abilities are very keen. They see their parents\’ hard work and efforts, the sweat on their backs in summer, and the snow on their shoulders in winter. They all see it in their eyes and remember it in their hearts. Therefore, do not complain to your children casually, because we do not know what kind of pressure these intentional or unintentional complaints will bring to the child, and how these pressures will affect the child\’s life, and even change the trajectory of the child\’s life. I believe many parents have cold violence from their parentsHave had the following experiences: immersed in their own things, ignoring their children’s calls, and some are even impatient with their children and pretending not to hear them; after their children make mistakes, they are treated indifferently as punishment; on the surface, they are playing and reading with their children, In fact, I deal with them absent-mindedly… Rui\’s mother often said that children should not be beaten or scolded. Cold violence is also not allowed. Cold violence is the most hurtful, and that kind of silence can bring mental torture to people. A friend of Rui’s mother suffered from domestic cold violence for a long time, and she still shudders every time she thinks about it. She said that the feeling of being coldly violently beaten by her parents was like a dull knife scratching her body repeatedly. There would be no bleeding, but the pain was very real. She would rather accept the ugliest words and have her parents beat her than face her parents\’ indifference alone. The most direct impact of parental cold violence on children is that it may cause them to develop a repressive and withdrawn personality. Children who grow up in this environment may become the transmitters of \”cold violence\”, being indifferent to others, unwilling to communicate with others, and unable to deal with interpersonal relationships. Therefore, parents, please do not be cold-blooded. The role of cold-blooded violence in children\’s lives is far greater than we expected. Parents quarrel. A child psychology research institution once conducted a psychological survey on more than 3,000 school-age children. One of the questions was \”What are you most afraid of about your parents?\” The most popular answer was: \”I am most afraid of my parents.\” quarrel\”. The harm caused to children by parents quarreling is no less than the scene of a car accident. Parents are the closest people to their children and their entire world. When the closest parents confront each other, quarrel red-faced, or even fight, for younger children, it will undoubtedly impact their hearts and destroy their world. For more sensible children, they will be sad because their parents quarrel, have random thoughts, have no intention of learning, become insecure, and even deny themselves and love. Marriage is like a pendulum, and quarrels are inevitable. When disagreements arise between husband and wife, try to strengthen your emotional management. Even if you want to argue, you should avoid children, discuss the matter as it is, and never use any sarcastic, sarcastic or even humiliating language. When the argument is over, firmly tell your child that mom and dad just disagreed and that no matter what happens, our family will always love each other. Letting children have a constant sense of security is the most important thing for parents.