Cultivating children\’s creativity is sometimes a mistake | 5 hidden characteristics of remote control children\’s life

Some parents are like helicopters, constantly \”buzzing\” in their children\’s ears. You may think that it is for the good of your children that you dictate their lives, such as calling your child’s teacher to reason about why you should give your child good grades instead of excellent ones. But such involvement can harm a child\’s ability to solve problems and advocate for himself. A new study published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies shows that parents who interfere too much in their children\’s development can do more harm than good. Parents who control their children\’s lives too much can become depressed themselves. After the children grow up, they frequently send text messages to them, request to add them as friends on all social tools, and check in every day… These behaviors are not only detrimental to children\’s confidence, but also detrimental to their resilience. Moreover, \”Parents are sending a message to their children that they are not capable enough,\” said Holly Schiffrin, associate professor of psychology at the University of Mary Washington. \”If children don\’t practice problem-solving skills, then they won\’t be capable in the future.\” Go figure it out.\” \”These parents mean well,\” Schiffren said. \”The purpose of their intervention is to help the child succeed. However, as far as our current research is concerned, over-intervention will not only bring a lot of pressure to the parents themselves, but also be bad for the children. This behavior is detrimental to both sides. \”Of course, many parents will deny that they like to dictate to their children. But is this really the case? Madeline Levine, a psychological counselor with more than 10 years of experience, listed the excuses commonly used by parents: If I didn\’t enroll my children in a lot of interest classes, then I wouldn\’t be a helicopter parent. Helicopter parents refer to parents who take care of everything and dote on their children. Some parents feel that they are not helicopter parents because they have not enrolled their children in numerous after-school tutoring classes. However, the controlling nature of helicopter parents is not limited to after-school tutoring classes. Do you think that you can control your child\’s life and shape your child into what you want? Do you not let your children watch TV, do you care about what they eat, and rarely hire a nanny or anyone else to help you look after your children? If your answer is mostly “yes,” then you’re definitely a helicopter parent. There are many ways for parents to control their children\’s lives, such as arranging courses for them, forcing them to train, or providing a foundation (material or interpersonal) for their children\’s future lives. In fact, when no one around you thinks there is anything wrong with it, you will think it is normal. There is so much competition in society, so of course we should take more care of our children. Thinking this way may seem okay at first glance. But in practice, what you teach your children is not success, but anxiety. Such parents themselves are overwhelmed by the double burden of work and childcare, but they will tell their children that a \”successful life\” should be exhausting, and ask them to imitate it. This kind of parentThere is a script in their minds that tells their children what to do is \”right\”, but they cannot see that this excessive command is deviating from the track of healthy education. Such overly anxious parents don\’t realize that their narrow, stereotyped standards of success are killing their children. New York Times reporter Judith Warner remembers a very bright 20-year-old talking about his future. The young man said, \”I just want to have a nice apartment in New York City.\” With his parents\’ tireless efforts, the young man said , this conservative view of success is rooted in the child\’s heart, and at the same time it removes his inner spirit and fighting spirit. Helicopter education encourages children to anxiously embrace bourgeois comfort, and this pursuit itself can make people uneasy. If I don’t teach my children to worship money, but teach them to be creative, that’s fine. You think you can turn your child into a creative person, which is actually another remote control method of torturing your child. Some parents ask their children to turn the fruits after meals into small art projects. They feel that doing so will make eating educational. Such parents always love to boast about how \”talented\” their children are. In fact, creativity and talent cannot be trained. I\’m not around my kids all the time. Helicopter education does not mean being around your children all the time. The \”future\” you describe for your child according to your own preferences, your disregard for the child\’s mental condition, and your persistence in \”stability\” and \”settlement\” are actually always surrounding the child\’s mind, putting pressure on the child invisibly. I sacrificed my own life for my children. Isn\’t that great? Parents who think this way should really listen to what most kids think. You think you have prepared everything for your children, but they feel bored and think you don\’t understand their needs. If you are willing to give up your life and identity for your child, what message does this send to your child? How will the child view the value of the mother? The person receiving the gift may not be as grateful for your sacrifice as expected; on the contrary, your gift may be hurting them.