Companionship is the best education. The education process should be a process in which parents and children grow and make progress together. Children are actually teachers of their parents. Financial companionship is fake companionship. In our impression, the problem of left-behind children occurs frequently in rural areas. In fact, there are also a large number of \”fake single-parent families\” and \”left-behind\” children in cities. The parents of these children are obviously at home, but they are like \”tenants\” living under the same roof. Either the parents and the children play separately, or the adults leave early and come back late, leaving the children with the elderly or nannies, and there is little communication between parents and children. Xiaojia is a child from a single-parent family. On this day, he did not go home after school. Her mother waited at home for two hours but still had no sign of Xiaojia. She was so anxious that she had no choice but to run to the police station to call the police. \”I just have this son, who is all I can rely on. If something goes wrong, what should I do?\” In fact, Xiaojia was at the neighbor\’s house next door, squatting on the roof of the building where he could not be easily found, playing games and observing. \”: \”My mother used to love me very much, but now she often ignores me. Do you not love me anymore? I pretended to be missing to test my mother.\” It wasn\’t until dark that his mother\’s heartbreaking shouts brought him back to his senses. , realized that things were getting serious. After Xiaojia was found, her mother came to her senses. \”I wanted to give my child the best material life and worked hard, but I neglected the child. As a result, the child had the negative emotion of \’Mom doesn\’t love me.\’\” Xiaojia\’s mother promised Xiaojia that she would try to spend as much time as possible in the future. Play with him and you will no longer ignore Xiaojia\’s feelings. There are really not a few \”Xiaojia\” in life. Their parents have long become \”invisible people\” in the family. They do not understand their children\’s real needs, ignore their children\’s inner feelings, and believe that their responsibility is to meet their children\’s material conditions. In a diary titled \”My Dad\”, a nine-year-old girl made this \”accusation\” against her father: her father is a workaholic. If you are not working overtime, you are on duty. If you are not on duty, you are in a meeting. If you are not in a meeting, you are on a business trip. Dad\’s job is very hard. I often work overtime at the unit every day and night until late at night. Dad rarely has time to spend with me… I cried and said to Dad: \”Is it so difficult to see you?\” Alas! Dad, if you don’t stay with me, I will grow up. Of course, I also understand the sadness of parents. It’s not that parents don’t want to spend time with their children, but that they are really overwhelmed and have too much energy to do. But there is a saying in \”Poor Dad, Rich Dad\” that success means having time to take care of your children. We always talk about being busy, but when will the busyness end? Once there is a deficiency in a child’s education, we simply cannot make up for it. What you call success is ultimately just a bubble. There are many examples that show that as long as a child is neglected, the child\’s growth will change significantly. Once some bad habits are developed, it takes a lot of effort to correct them, or even cannot be corrected at all. The rebellious psychology of children in adolescence is one example. Why is it that when children are young, they are very good and obedient, but as they grow older, they begin to rebel and alienate from their parents? The answer lies in children\’s early childhood. They are naturally sensitive and long for more love from their parents.Hope more attention. Once they are not satisfied, they will find ways to ask for it. Some adopt a more well-behaved and sensible approach, while others are naughty and disruptive in an attempt to attract their parents\’ attention. When encountering parents who do not understand the meaning of accompanying their children and only use violence to solve problems, the children will become more and more disappointed and eventually break out. The distance between children and parents is getting farther and farther. You say you care about your children, but the measure of whether you care about your children is not how much money you give them, but how much time and energy you spend spending time with them. You may have unlimited wealth, boxes of jewelry and cabinets of gold, but you will never be richer than me. I have a mother who reads to me. Spend energy and heart with your children, instead of just spending time. Many people think that being with your children is companionship. In fact, there is no emphasis on careful companionship. \”How can I stop my mother from playing with my mobile phone?\” \”It would be great if I were my parents\’ mobile phone.\” These are the questions that the 7-year-old girl Miaomiao searched on her iPad. Her parents have a special liking for mobile phones and let her There is trouble. But Miaomiao\’s mother did not think that she was not accompanying her child. Every day, Miaomiao\’s mother plays toys with Miaomiao, takes her to shopping malls, and watches TV together. After all, she spends more than 3 hours with her child every day. Why is Miaomiao still not satisfied? In fact, the root of the problem is that Miaomiao\’s mother\’s eyes are always staring at the screen of her mobile phone. For example, in a shopping mall, Miaomiao\’s mother held Miaomiao\’s hand while shopping. Once the phone rang, she let go of her child\’s hand and went to get the phone. Miaomiao said, \”Mom, I\’m in kindergarten today…Mom, you didn\’t listen to me!\” Miaomiao\’s mother looked at the message on her phone and said, \”Mom, I can watch and listen to you at the same time.\” In the amusement park, Miaomiao herself was They were playing inside, while Miaomiao’s mother was checking her cell phone outside. \”Mom, look at me…\” \”Yeah, um, be careful,\” Miao Miao\’s mother answered without raising her eyes. At home, Miaomiao wanted her mother to tell a story. Miaomiao\’s mother was scrolling through her phone and said, \”Miaomiao, would you like to watch TV? Watch your favorite Peppa Pig…\” Since having children, many parents will say: \”I give all my time to my children\” \”I accompany my children 24 hours a day\”… But these same parents will also say, \”My children always pester me and always say: \’Mom and Dad play with me\’\” , how can I accompany you enough?\” When you look at your phone to talk to your children; when you look at your phone to take your children to the zoo or amusement park; when you look at your phone to let your children watch TV; you Have you ever thought about it, is this kind of \”accompanying\” still companionship? Is it the companionship the child wants? The answer is of course NO! In the eyes of a child, companionship is not just about being by his side, but also about communicating with him, playing with him, learning with him, and taking responsibility with him. But our attention is all on our mobile phones, and when it comes to spending time with our children, we either do it perfunctorily or leave it to others. We are also very lazy. We feel that the world of children is too childish, and we don’t bother to play. We don’t want to spend time studying, and we can only deal with it absentmindedly. Children are very sensitive, and it is clear at a glance whether adults are sincere towards them. onlyIt is to be in the same space as the child. Although it consumes most of the time, there is zero interaction with the child. It looks very lively, but in fact, the children do not feel the care and love of their parents at all. Such parents, even though they are around their children, do not focus on their children. No matter how much time they spend with them, it will not help their children\’s growth. Parents become their children’s supervisors. Children need different ways of communication and companionship at different stages. Psychological research shows that children in preschool, childhood, and adolescence require different communication and companionship at different stages of their growth. Parents must not be absent, otherwise it will be detrimental to the formation and perfection of their personality. During adolescence, children have an increased sense of independence and a need to pursue power and attention. Parents must understand their children and understand their children\’s needs, so that parent-child communication can run on a benign track. But in my opinion, most parents during this period have become \”supervisors\” of their children\’s academic studies. Our backend often receives these messages: Children do not take the initiative to do homework and cannot be urged. Looking here and there, not concentrating on homework, wasting time by dilly-dallying, no matter how hard I push, it’s useless. He doesn\’t know how to think independently and stops when he encounters a problem. The children just make do with it and everything is fine when they complete their homework, but the process of checking and correcting every day is particularly painful for parents… Faced with these problems, parents are always helpless and anxious. There is a parent whose children feel like they are in a war every day when they do homework. When the parents do their homework with their children, their mouths are not idle, their hands are not idle, and they get all kinds of irritable and crazy. Every time the child writes a word or solves a question, the parents start to chirp and chatter endlessly: \”Why is this writing so ugly?\” \”Don\’t use the eraser so hard.\” \”Raise your head…\” The child did the wrong question. , opened his mouth and said: \”Where has your brain gone? You don\’t even think about it?\” \”What did I tell you just now? Isn\’t it stupid?\” \”Wrong again, why didn\’t you think about it before writing?\” Seeing the child\’s improper writing, he became angry. He got angry, grabbed the homework book, erased it without hesitation, and then roared: \”Rewrite it for me immediately!\” The child paused for a moment, and then started to be fierce: \”What time is it now? How long do you want to delay… !?\” I believe that many parents and friends are going through this period: \”When I am not doing homework, my mother is kind and my son is filial, hugging me and hugging me; when I am doing my homework, the chickens are flying, the dogs are jumping, and the birds are screaming…\” I suggest that everyone change Thinking about it from another angle, why do children not like doing homework? The children themselves are young and their concentration will be weaker. Parents sit and stare, urge, and constantly disturb the children, which invisibly adds a lot of \”blockage\” to the children, causing a lot of psychological pressure on the children, and the learning efficiency will naturally decrease. not tall. If the parents intermittently make impromptu rants, the entire homework writing process for the children will be very unpleasant and put them under pressure and fear, making it even more difficult to concentrate and make correct judgments. Therefore, parents’ supervising style of accompanying homework will only make children lose their confidence and interest in learning, and their academic performance will also decline; we ourselves are still tired, and if we don’t do it well, if we are in a bad mood and have no energy, we will also get it. Went to the hospital to install a stent. So, how should I accompany you? We need to clarify the principle: the purpose of accompanying homework is to enable children to develop the ability to self-examine and think independently., in order to better assist children in learning. It is recommended to adopt four methods: 1. When the child is doing homework, try not to disturb or interrupt him; while we are doing our own things, we watch quietly. 2. Teach children to use the 80-20 rule; invest 80% of the time on 20% of the key points and difficulties, and 20% of the time to master the remaining 80% to improve learning efficiency. 3. The purpose of companionship is to help children develop good habits. When parents accompany their children to do homework without disturbing the children, it is better to concentrate on reading their own books. The serious reading status of parents will also affect their children, because this itself It\’s a good demonstration. 4. Teach children methods, guide them to use their brains and solve questions independently, and do not give answers directly. Parents cannot be absent from their children’s growth. My father asked his 5-year-old daughter, “Are you angry that your father can’t accompany you because he wants to earn money for you to go to the best school?” My daughter said, don’t be angry. When I grow up and earn money, I will also send you to the best nursing home. If parents lack companionship with their children in the early stages, they will reject their parents\’ education when their children become wise. The lack of emotional dependence and intimate communication causes parents to lose the qualification to discipline them in the children\’s minds. Parents cannot be absent from all stages of their children\’s growth. The process of education should be for parents and children to grow and make progress together. Communicate more with your children, and you will find that your children can actually teach you a lot. After all, most parents are first-time parents. If we cannot handle the relationship with ourselves and others, how can we handle the relationship with our children? If we are no longer curious about the world, how can we retain our children\’s curiosity? High-quality and effective companionship from parents means facing their children\’s problems head-on and facing their own hearts bravely. Only when parents devote themselves wholeheartedly and participate in education throughout their lives can children truly feel love and grow up healthily both physically and mentally. Parents have always been with them attentively, and children see it in their eyes and remember it in their hearts. Only then do they know how to love their families, respect their teachers, love their classmates, love the society, and cherish it. Dear parents, when you return home today, please put aside those important and non-urgent work, social activities, and entertainment, and give yourself and your children some alone time. Hearing yourself through a child\’s eyes may bring tears to your eyes.
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