I often receive messages from mothers in the background complaining that their children are disobedient. No matter what they say, it doesn\’t work. What should I do? What should I do if my child is too lazy to do things and ignores adults? In this case, I would not tell mothers to be patient with their children. Instead, I would warn mothers to pay attention to the way you speak. Because if the mother\’s way of speaking is wrong, no matter how patient she is, no matter how much she talks, the child will not be able to listen. Therefore, Rui Ma listed the following scenes that often appear in life, learn these little talking skills, and help mothers raise a good, obedient and sensible child. 1. Scenario of not wanting to go to bed: When it is time to go to bed, the child is still sitting on the sofa watching TV without feeling sleepy at all. The usual saying is: \”Look what time it is here? Why don\’t you go to bed yet! How many times do I have to tell you before you listen? Go to bed quickly!\” and then turn off the TV with a snap. As a result, the child did not resist on the surface, but then went back to the room sulking and stubbornly. After the child lay on the bed, he must be thinking: \”I\’m not sleepy, why do you have to let me sleep! I just want to watch TV for a while, why don\’t you even give me this little freedom?\” Finally, he got sulky. Fell asleep. The correct way to say it is, \”It\’s bedtime in 10 minutes. Do you want to wash up first or pack your schoolbag first?\” The advantage of saying this is: give the child two choices and let him make his own decision. He will be more willing to do so. To implement your own decision, it will not make the child feel forced. In addition, set a fixed bedtime for the child. Once the biological clock is formed, the child will go to bed by himself without you urging him. 2. Scene of not being communicative: The mother sees her child sitting there alone in a daze, and wants to ask him what he is doing. However, after asking him several times, the child seems not to have heard and has no response at all. The usual way to say it is: \”Mom is talking to you. Are you deaf or mute? Let me answer you.\” As a result, the child may have nothing to do and just want to stay quietly for a while, or he may have encountered something at school. I\’m thinking of a solution. But when the mother says this, will the child feel better? I\’m afraid that my mood, which was not clear to begin with, is now even more depressed, right? The correct way to say \”Child, is there anything I can do to help you? If you don\’t want to say it, forget it, but mom is worried about you.\” The advantage of saying this is that it will not put pressure on the child, so that he can feel his mother\’s concern Afterwards, the emotions are relieved and the child can slowly and naturally express what is on his mind, which is conducive to the development of the parent-child relationship. Remember, don’t be too forceful when speaking to your children. Children are not enemies. 3. Don’t like to share scenes: A friend comes to your home with his children, the two children are playing with toys while you and your friend are chatting. At this time, the two children started fighting because your child refused to give toys to his friend’s children. A common saying is: \”I am a guest, do you want others to know? Don\’t you play with this toy every day? You must know how to share, don\’t be so selfish!\” As a result, for children, the toy may be just a plaything in the eyes of adults. But it is a companion for children\’s young hearts. when someone without permissionWhen you take away his toys, it\’s like robbing his siblings. If you force your child to share toys, his instinctive reaction will definitely be reluctance. He will feel sad that someone else has taken away his favorite, and he may even feel that his mother does not love him anymore. The correct way to say it is, \”Child, do you want to play for a while first and then play with him, or do you want him to play for a while first and then you play? Or can we find another toy for him to play with?\” The advantage of saying this is that you respect the child\’s At the same time, give the child a \”no choice\” choice-no matter which choice, both people can play with the toy. Children are all \”submissive donkeys\”, so you have to guide them gently instead of saying your thoughts directly and forcefully. 4. Use crying to achieve the goal: the child wants to watch TV and play games for a while, but the mother does not agree, so he keeps crying until the mother agrees. A common saying is: \”Crying, crying, you know how to cry. What else can you do besides crying? Who else has a child like yours? How could I have a child like you.\” As a result, the reason why children use crying to achieve their goals must be It was his mother who gave him the \”sweetness\” of this before. Sometimes, parents are afraid of trouble and surrender as soon as they see their children crying, and simply agree to their children\’s requests, thinking it\’s no big deal. But parents are saving trouble, but they do not teach their children how to solve problems, and let their children mistakenly think that crying can get what they want. When the children enter the society in the future, how can anyone pamper them like parents? The correct way to say it is \”Can you calm down first? Let\’s discuss what to do together. Now, you can tell your mother what you think, and she will listen to you.\” The advantage of saying this is: when the child\’s emotions are out of control , what the mother needs to do most is to stabilize the child\’s emotions and guide him to express his inner thoughts. In this way, children will know that crying is useless, and expressing their thoughts to others truthfully is the most effective way to solve problems. 5. Delay in doing things. Please click here to enter a picture to describe the scene: When you are getting ready to go out, the child has either not dressed yet, or has forgotten to take things. In short, it takes half an hour to go out. The common saying is: \”Why are you still hanging around? What can you do if you\’re like you? Hurry up, you\’re almost late, don\’t you hear me!\” When the mother said this, she had actually given her child a sticker. Being labeled as \”grinding\” will hurt the child\’s self-confidence, and the child may even deliberately contradict his mother: \”If you don\’t mean that I will grind, then I will grind it for you.\” In fact, when you keep urging, When I was a child, I inadvertently disrupted the child\’s rhythm. Once a child\’s rhythm is disrupted, various \”sequelae\” effects will follow – easily irritable, poor patience, etc. The correct way to say it is \”We are going out in 10 minutes. Do you want to get dressed first or go to the toilet first?\” The advantage of saying this is that it gives the child selective supervision and reminds the child what to do. Helps children develop a sense of order. In fact, sometimes children don\’t realize that they are dillydallying at all, because their time awareness is very weak and they think they are just doing what they like. The above are just a few in lifeThis is a common example. Mothers must say more than these words to their children every day. Rui Ma just hopes that you can understand the secret of speaking and be a good mother who can talk to your children.
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