\”Mom, how did I get here?\” 10 embarrassing questions and answers between parents and children

Even a two- or three-year-old child may be curious about sex. When the child is older, he may need more than just \”sex knowledge.\” The attitude and skills of parents in answering their children\’s \”sex\” questions also convey the value of sex. . Smart parents not only do not avoid their children\’s problems, but also start from the problems and give them healthy sex education. When answering children\’s sex questions, in terms of attitude, first affirm the child\’s curiosity in asking questions. Parents should not be shy and blush, answer calmly with a normal mind, and remind themselves to respond with an attitude of respect and equality. In terms of answering skills, determine the question first, and do not rush to provide answers that do not meet your needs because you may get the wrong meaning; respond simply and clearly, and use the correct scientific name, such as \”penis\” will be better than \”small penis\”; if the child wants to know More, you can also make good use of questioning skills: \”What do you think?\” Remember, sex education is a long learning process, and the same problems may appear again and again. Parents must be mentally prepared to face the same problems and provide more guidance. In-depth explanation. \”Parenting World\” consulted experts and compiled the ten most common situations that parents encounter regarding sex education, so that you can talk about \”sex\” with your children without blushing. Early childhood and elementary school Q1: When children ask their parents: Where did I get here? For a child of three or four years old, it is enough to tell him that he \”comes out of his mother\’s belly\”. If he is older and wants to know more, tell him that mom and dad got married because they loved each other. At this time, the father\’s sperm and the mother\’s egg will combine, and then they will grow up in the mother\’s body. That is you. When you grow big enough in the mother\’s belly, you will come out. Q2: My child is curious about sexual organs and may even play with his own sexual organs. What should I do? Sex education before the age of four focuses on understanding the body. Tell your children the differences between men and women\’s bodies, just like introducing ears and noses, teach them to know their sexual organs; girls should at least know about the vulva and vagina, while boys should learn about penis and testicles. If he plays with his genitals, share with him, \”It feels good to the touch, and everyone does that.\” Instead, he won\’t worry about it, and he won\’t see it as a sin. It is normal for children under the age of six to touch their genitals, either out of boredom or seeking pleasure. At this time, parents do not need to make a fuss or stop it. It is better to ignore this behavior or play games with him to divert his attention. The behavior will decrease with age. However, when major events occur at home, parents are not in harmony, are treated harshly by adults, are stressed or nervous, children will frequently play with their sexual organs. To improve behavior, your child\’s sources of stress must be eliminated. If this behavior occurs in a public place, you may want to think about whether that place is not suitable for children at all? He wanted to attract attention because he was bored. Don\’t teach him a lesson at this time, take the child for a walk, or think of an interesting game to distract him. If you are over six years old and still frequently touch your sexual organs, you need to seek professional consultation. Q3: What should your children do when they see scenes of intimate behavior on TV or in movies? Parents do not need to turn channels or dodge at this time. If a child is curious about this picture, parents can take the initiative to ask him: \”Do you know what they are doing?\” Older children can evenYou can discuss with him: Is it okay to do this if you like the other person? What should I do if the other party doesn’t like it? Is there any other way to express liking someone? Sometimes, children will have physiological reactions due to intimate behaviors on TV, letting them know that this is a normal physiological phenomenon stimulated by the outside world. After the fourth or fifth grade of elementary school, you can even discuss with him: \”What should I do if I get an erection?\” Let the child learn to control his body\’s reaction. Q4: When children see scenes of animals mating and ask what they are doing? Tell the children: \”They are mating.\” Mating is to reproduce the next generation, both in animals and plants. If your child is very interested, you might as well check data, read books with him, and study how organisms reproduce the next generation. Liao Qingbi reminded that parents do not need to know everything. The key is to be able to maintain an open mind and the enthusiasm to learn and explore with their children. Q5: What happens when children in your class like to lift other people’s skirts, peek at other people changing clothes, or touch other people’s bodies? When a child is sexually curious or likes the other person but dare not say it, they have to express it through teasing. Parents can use this incident to teach their children respect. First teach the child body autonomy and ask him: \”Where on the body will it be uncomfortable if others touch it?\” Then teach him how to protect himself and discuss with the child: \”What should I do if someone lifts my skirt?\”, \”When he talks, His face is so close to mine that I feel very uncomfortable, what should I do?\” Adolescence Stage Q6: When a child says \”Fuck mom\”? When your teenager starts using profanity and it becomes a common refrain, it’s best for parents to just relax and not take it too seriously. If you really can\’t stand it, tell your child: \”I feel really uncomfortable hearing that. Please don\’t talk like that in front of me.\” The most important thing is to hear the emotion behind his swearing and ask him: \”You Are you in a bad mood?\” or \”Do you think it\’s unfair for mom to deal with this?\” Directly clarifying the emotions that cause him to swear is more practical than prohibiting him from swearing. Q7: When children secretly watch pornographic movies or visit pornographic websites? When it is first discovered that a child behind the door is secretly watching pornographic websites or pornographic movies, parents are always anxious: \”Should I ban him? Or should I pretend not to know?\” For teenagers, curiosity and demand for sex are Very normal. Parenting expert Yang Lirong suggested that there is no need to scold or restrain your children because of nervousness, and do not be shy or blushing; the best way to deal with it is to use it as a good opportunity for sex education, and discuss with your children the unreasonable sexual knowledge in pornographic movies, and what to discuss further. It is a happy and healthy relationship between the sexes. If the child is not ready to discuss this matter, as long as there are no abnormalities in his daily routine and interpersonal relationships, parents can regard it as one of the ways for the child to vent his needs and do not necessarily need to talk about it. Yang Lirong likened pornographic movies to be like junk food. They may be delicious and fun, but they are unhealthy and may also cause children to misunderstand healthy and beautiful sexual relationships. Parents are the only ones who can play the role of interpretation and education, but if it is really difficult to talk about it, they should provide their children with a correct book about sex, at least not let him learn \”sex\” through a single channel. A more positive approach is to talk about sex with your children through some popular and interesting movies or books. Physician Li Weiwen once used the movie \”Hongren Pregnant Head\” and his daughterChildren talk about menstrual periods, premarital sex and unmarried pregnancy. Q8: See your child with friends of the opposite sex with the door closed and unable to come out? If you come home and find the opposite sex\’s shoes at your child\’s door, Li Peishan, director of the Kaohsiung City Student Counseling Center, suggests knocking on the door and inviting your child out for a drink. If you open the door and find two people disheveled, close the door and wait for the child to come out on his own. After a friend leaves, parents should find an opportunity to talk to their children to understand their relationship, express their worries and ideas, and even discuss safety measures. Liao Qingbi\’s approach is to make an agreement with her children when they are young: \”If you bring friends of the opposite sex, please open the door.\” Let this become a family rule. But when it comes to teenagers, opening or closing the door is not a one-time choice. The relationship and discussions between parents and children over the years will have an impact on whether this agreement works. It is best for parents to discuss and reach a consensus on what age and what behavior is acceptable when their children are curious about the opposite sex but have not yet started dating. Q9: When a classmate of your child shows off his sexual experience? It is very valuable for teenagers to be willing to discuss this matter with their parents. First ask: \”What do you think?\” Listen to his thoughts before continuing the discussion. Li Peishan suggested talking about it from three aspects: feelings, law and solution. Feeling side: Sex and emotions are very private matters. Showing off this will hurt the person you have sex with. When talking about this with your children, don\’t put the value of \”having sex is bad\”, but talk from the perspective of \”respect\”. Legal aspect: Minors who have sex are legally responsible, and the school will also notify them. Solution: Showing off is to show yourself and attract attention. You might as well discuss with your children whether there is a better way to show yourself. Q10: When my child asks me if I approve of abortion? Abortion is a matter of life, and there is a wide range of considerations that cannot be resolved by approval or disapproval. When a child asks a question, clarify the question first: What kind of abortion is it? How old are you? Let’s talk further. The basic principle is to let children know that abortion is very harmful to a woman\’s body, and smart people will protect themselves and not fall into this dilemma. The Eugenics and Health Care Law also stipulates that minor abortion must have parental consent. After further discussion with him, this matter has its own position and value. For example, religious people generally do not have abortions. Many times, even if you do not support abortion, because the fetus is not healthy, or the pregnancy will have a major impact on life (for example, if a minor becomes pregnant while still in school), the situation must be measured. Don\’t forget to ask your child: \”What about you? Do you agree?\” When discussing, be as if you are talking about other people\’s affairs; also let him know that you support his views whether he agrees or not.