Only with a warm upbringing can you raise a warm boy

When it comes to raising boys, we really have to start with our parents and then look at ourselves. Because they, or ourselves, were once a little boy. There are many things that are difficult to let go of no matter how long they last. You can always find the mark on the child. Speaking of our parents, the generation in the 1960s and 1970s, their love was deep, reserved, unobtrusive, and they never talked about love. I remember when I was a child, I often played at my uncle\’s house, but my uncle always had a straight face every day. A group of us children were having fun, but as soon as he came back, the room immediately became quiet. When my aunt sees this, she always brings out delicious food for us to eat to lighten the atmosphere. My cousin said that he had never felt his father’s love. We have never seen our uncle hug our aunt, and we have never heard him say a word of love to anyone. But he has been supporting the family in obscurity. Nowadays, my old wife is often sick, and he takes care of her personally, asking for help, asking for medicine, and helping her up and down. The son lost money in business, and it was his father who came to help him, giving him some room for maneuver. Many people said. Chinese men are always like this, looking at you where you can\’t see, loving you where you can\’t feel. I am afraid that you will see his weak moment, and he will not shed even a drop of tears in front of you. He always looks indestructible, with an arrogance that repels people thousands of miles away. Facing these old men, we really can only love them in another way. But looking at ourselves, there is no shadow of our parents. Take me for example. When I said \”I love you\” to my wife, I still felt a little embarrassed. When it comes to children\’s education, there are often some ideas from the older generation that make trouble. Sometimes my son is very clingy to me, which makes me uncomfortable. Occasionally he will say, \”Why does a boy look like a girl? Go away.\” Fortunately, he always hugs me tighter. Why is this happening? I think it\’s because when I was little, no one held me and said \”I love you\”. So I read the picture book \”My Dad\” to my son, and the last hug became a channel for me and my son to open up to each other. Love requires vocal practice and warm upbringing. Our education gives boys too much self-restraint. For example, many parents will tell their children impatiently: Don\’t cry and be a brave little man. A mother said that one time her son accidentally touched his head and cried in pain. I comforted him that it was okay for a man to have such an injury. He asked, \”Can\’t a man cry when he is in pain?\”, which surprised me very much. This is a problem that many parents encounter. I remember my son also asked this question, so I told him: \”It\’s okay, you can cry if you want.\” Really, I have always allowed my children to cry, but when I heard that disturbing cry, I had to tell myself \” Calm down and let him cry for a while.\” Because when a child wants to cry, but wisely holds back from crying, it makes people feel even more worried and distressed. In the recent \”Chinese Poetry Conference\” program, there was a little boy who impressed me deeply. Feng Ziyi, an 8-year-old boy, is a fourth-grade primary school student from Shanghai. He has an outstanding memory and has skipped a grade for two consecutive years. His favorite ancient poem is Su Shi\’s \”Shui Tiao Ge Tou: When will the bright moon come\”, because his parents have been living in Beijing all year round.While working in Beijing, he could only live with his grandparents in Shanghai. Ziyi used this poem to express his longing for his parents. But he said that he had never dared to speak out because he was afraid that his mother would cry. Instead, he sent a song \”Wandering Son\’s Song\” to his mother. What a sensible child, it’s really heartbreaking. In answering questions, he easily answered two questions correctly, but he racked his brains and couldn\’t remember the third question. At that time, the little guy was a little sad, lowered his head and shed tears. But he said he shed tears because he didn\’t blink for too long. He wanted to \”be a very, very brave little boy.\” I understand this child\’s heart very well. My parents are away from home and are taken care of by my elderly grandparents. The family has great expectations for the child, and the child accepts it wisely and works harder. However, it is really thought-provoking for him to be so sensible at his age. I hope he just controls his emotions on the show and can still cry whenever he wants off the stage. I wish my mother could say it out loud. Even on the phone, vent your emotions happily. Because human emotions have nowhere to hide and will always find a way to be consumed. Negative emotions don’t just disappear if you say you don’t have them, they are still there, lurking in your heart. Over time, it becomes a heavy burden on the spirit. In today\’s era, there is too much information, and children are exposed to more information than ever before. So I know a lot at a very young age. It may not be a good thing to be sensible too early, because it is too early to bear the pressure that does not match your age. If a child doesn\’t even dare to express his emotions, what good things are there in life worthy of his love? Children will always imitate their parents and learn how to express love through their parents\’ behaviors. For example, when you say some happy words to your wife to make her laugh, or when you hold her hand and carry her on your back. Children will feel that these are expressions of love. When parents argue about one thing, the children are also affected. I remember one time my wife and I had a loud argument about something. Because it was my problem, I said less. But my wife was quite angry and kept talking about me loudly. That night, my son told his mother before going to bed, \”Mom, please don\’t talk too loudly in the future.\” When my wife told me about this incident, I held my son\’s hand and said, \”What happened today was Dad.\” It was wrong, so dad apologized, but it was wrong for mom to be too loud. We have to correct it together and can\’t lose our temper at others, okay.\” My son didn\’t speak, but I knew he was listening. My wife and I looked at each other and smiled. We felt that raising children is not easy. We must do our best first. Because if a father scolds or even attacks his wife, the boy will also like to express his dissatisfaction violently and will not respect girls. He will do the same to his wife in the future. And if you can speak well and control your emotions, your children will also learn to control them. Of course, a family where the mother is too strong and the father is weak and has no status will also have a great impact on boys. This is because children will always form a sense of identity toward their same-sex parent. For example, when a boy is young, he wants to catch up with his father, or even surpass him. And fatherIf the mother continues to suppress her, the child will often become weak and have low self-esteem. No matter how much you love your children. It cannot replace the life of a child. We cannot give our children gold and silver, but we can give our children a warm upbringing environment. Make their minds healthier and brighter. And this is what accompanies children throughout their lives and affects generations after generations. Becoming a father is the greatest thing in life. Because here I find the happiness I once longed for. And it’s really fun to do your best to accompany your children as they grow up. More importantly, when I hold a child\’s hand or hold this little life in my arms. I feel warm. Only with a warm upbringing can we raise a boy with warmth. A boy with warmth in his heart will be able to love better in the future.