Please stop using \”The First Half of My Life\” to ask stay-at-home mothers to be independent, okay?

My second baby has been ill these past few days, and he doesn\’t sleep well every day. He almost has to sleep with me during the day, so I took advantage of the time when I was sleeping with my baby to catch up on the recently popular TV series \”The First Half of My Life\”. From the very beginning of this drama, stay-at-home mothers were heavily criticized. Luo Zijun, a Shanghainese woman, acts like a rich wife at home and spends extravagantly on weekdays. She wears shoes worth more than 60,000 yuan and buys a bag every now and then. Not only does she have no quality, she bosses around the shop assistants when trying on shoes without asking for advancement, child. When asked what the cornea was, she said it was a film on the feet. All day long, apart from dressing up, I just keep an eye on my husband and guard against my mistress. Later, her husband really cheated on her and asked for a divorce. The audience shouted that they were to blame. Major public media also called on \”women to be independent and make money\”, \”even if they are raising children at home, they must learn skills to earn income\” and so on. However, characters like Luo Zijun are just needed for TV dramas to attract attention. How many full-time mothers are like her in reality? Although I am not a stay-at-home mother, during the few months I took maternity leave after giving birth to my second child, I fully realized how difficult it is for a stay-at-home mother. Therefore, after watching this drama and these mainstream articles, I couldn’t help but want to help the real ones. A word from the stay-at-home mom. First of all, if the husband can make money and can hire a reliable nanny or have the elderly to help, how many mothers are willing to stop working and be stay-at-home mothers? Even if she is willing to return to the family and become a full-time mother, it is because \”a child only grows up once, and she wants to provide her with high-quality companionship.\” How can such a mother be like Luo Zijun and ignore her child\’s learning and education? Is it easy to raise children at home? Before the child is 1 year old, not to mention housework, just holding the baby, feeding the baby, and putting him to sleep countless times is enough to consume all your time and energy. When your baby is 1 year old and can walk, you think you can relax a little bit, but who knows, it will make you even more tired! The baby is rummaging through boxes and cabinets all day long. In addition to following him behind and guarding him intently, you can\’t stop him from exploring. When he gets tired of playing and takes a break, you still have to clean up the mess in the house. No matter whether you are in a good mood today or whether you are sick or not, he will always pull you to play games with him endlessly and read picture books one after another. Even when he is playing alone, you still have to watch him, be there at all times, and respond to his needs in a timely manner. You are so tired that you collapse on the bed and want to take a rest, but he keeps making trouble next to you. When he is tired and falls asleep, you still have to struggle to get up and start washing clothes, cooking, cleaning… If your baby is healthy, you can still endure all these hardships, but if your baby is not in good health, gets sick every now and then, and has trouble sleeping all night, it will literally wear you out in minutes! Having back pain every day is a trivial matter. If you don’t suffer from depression, you are really lucky! Even Luo Zijun, who is pampered in the play, probably suffered a lot in the first three years after giving birth, otherwise she would not have said this: In this kind of long-term, high-intensity, high-pressure work, where she is always on call When you are in a state where you are talking to a stay-at-home mother about learning and growing up and about making money part-time, isn’t that just standing up and talking without back pain? Who doesn’t want to learn, who doesn’t want to make progress? I’ll give you a baby and you can try to raise it by yourself for a year? At least when the child is in kindergartenBefore, I thought it was unrealistic to talk about independence and making money with a stay-at-home mother. Besides, from the perspective of social division of labor, the work of a stay-at-home mother itself is creating value for society and the family, right? Although no one pays wages to stay-at-home mothers, their contribution to the family is no less than that of their husbands who earn money outside the home! The American Salary.com website once conducted a quantitative survey on the work value of full-time mothers, that is, \”If full-time mothers are paid, how much should they be paid?\” After extensive investigation and careful calculation: If working 40 hours a week, overtime Calculating 52 hours, the annual salary of a stay-at-home mother should be $143,102! A total of millions of RMB! Accident? not at all! Not to mention that stay-at-home mothers have to be chefs, nutritionists, financial planners, cleaners, accountants, nurses, etc. at home. Just being a caregiver and raising an excellent child will create immeasurable social value. Okay? What\’s more, the current fact is that in order to take good care of their children and fulfill their multiple roles in the family, many stay-at-home mothers, while taking care of their children and doing housework, still squeeze out time to learn various parenting knowledge. Within a year after giving birth, they quickly transitioned from girls to mothers. How many men can match this growth rate? On the contrary, most fathers are unwilling to grow up and take on their due family responsibilities, and they still stay in the giant baby stage. The heartless man Chen Junsheng in the play, although he works overtime almost every day and cannot come home on time, he is still successful in his career. As long as he returns home, he will accompany his children to study and do homework. But look at most men in real life. My career is mediocre, but when I get home, I still act like an uncle. I lie down on the sofa with my hands spread out. I don’t take care of the children, don’t do any housework, and still wait for my wife to take care of me. Together with me, I have the second child in the family. It sounds nice to say, \”You quit your job and take care of the kids at home, and I\’ll support you!\” But to be honest, who is supporting whom? There is even an excellent husband who, while enjoying the convenience brought to him by his wife at home, blames his wife for saying, \”You haven\’t earned a penny\”! When your wife complains when she is tired of taking care of the child, he will also sarcastically say: \”It\’s just raising a child, isn\’t it?\” When the child accidentally bumps into and gets hurt, he even blames his wife: \”I can\’t even raise a child well! \”I originally thought that such men were in the minority, but there was news some time ago that a Japanese actress received 110,000 yuan in living expenses from her husband every month, but could not see her husband all year round. Then I saw a large group of women commenting: \”What kind of husband do you want to see if you give me 110,000 a month? My husband doesn\’t want it anymore. It\’s going to cause trouble!\” \”Don\’t talk about 110,000, just give me 50,000. Husband, please don\’t come back. It\’s hard to take care of a son. Come back.\” It’s just that two children are more tiring.” “I am willing to pay 10,000 yuan to let him go away…” “Please let me be the widow of a rich man…” Although it is a joke, it shows that there are too many in today’s society. There are too many men like this who have no sense of family responsibility. Women have to raise children and make money. No matter which one they fail to do well, they will be condemned by their families and society. But as long as men have a successful career, their beauty can cover up all their flaws, and no one will say anything about cheating or changing their minds.What\’s even worse is that not only do families and society ignore the value of stay-at-home mothers, but even at the legal system level, the interests of stay-at-home mothers are not protected. Many stay-at-home mothers who have worked hard at home for many years not only don\’t get the respect they deserve from their husbands because they don\’t make any money, but also don\’t even get a penny of compensation once they get divorced. But let’s take a look at how the laws of other countries protect stay-at-home mothers: In the United States, stay-at-home mothers will not have much financial burden because one American works and the whole family can enjoy medical insurance. In addition, stay-at-home wives can enjoy tax exemptions every year. In Germany, stay-at-home mothers will have a stable salary, and their husbands will also enjoy preferential taxes because their wives take care of the children at home. In Japan, stay-at-home mothers can enjoy social insurance benefits without paying insurance premiums. Even if you have not worked a day, you can still receive the national pension when you reach the age of 65. Many companies will pay all or half of the husband\’s salary into the wife\’s account; and when divorce occurs, even if the child is brought up by the man, the wife still has to pay alimony every month. Why do stay-at-home mothers in these countries enjoy such treatment? To paraphrase a popular saying in Japan, it is because our next generation, under the education of their mothers, especially mothers with higher education, will definitely make the nation stronger! Therefore, please stop creating public opinion asking stay-at-home mothers to return to the workplace. Please re-recognize their value, call on fathers to take on family and childcare responsibilities, and call on the government to give more support to stay-at-home mothers in terms of policies and laws. and protection, this is what a progressive society should discuss.