Rebellion among junior high school students is not a disease. These three tricks help children through the \”storm period\”

Brother Fu said that education is not just about education. Last week\’s monthly exam, Kobayashi, in Class 3 (3), ornamented the math test papers on the plane. The teacher reminded him, and he glanced at the teacher and said, \”Don\’t care about me, I will tear the paper directly!\” In the office, his mother said with red eyes: \”Every day when she went home and slammed the door and played with her mobile phone, and asked a few more questions and shouted \’Don\’t care about me\’. What\’s wrong with this child?\” Such a scene not only happened in the school where Fu Ge worked, but also in junior high school campuses across the country. Children aged 12-15 are like small boats suddenly breaking into the eyes of the storm, sensitive, impulsive, longing for independence but also confused. As a teacher, I want to tell all parents and colleagues: rebellion is not a disaster, but a \”psychological weaning period\” for children to grow up. As long as the school, family and teachers work together, they can help their children successfully travel through this \”storm\”. 1. Parents\’ long article: Turn \”confrontation\” into \”dialogue\”, first catch emotions and then reason. A colleague took over the new class last year. Xiaoyu in the class was a typical \”rebellious boy\”: sleeping in class and fighting after school, and her mother was anxious to call and cry. Until one home visit, her colleague saw a torn sketchbook hidden on his desk – it turned out that he secretly drew cartoons and was torn to pieces by his mother in public. Behind the rebellion, there are often unseen desires. Adolescent children have weak emotional management abilities, but they care about being respected. Parents use the command tone of \”you must\” and \”you cannot\”, which will only trigger their \”Defense mechanism\”. Try doing this: 1. Squat down and listen, which is more effective than preaching while standing. Leave 10-30 minutes a day. \”Exclusive dialogue time\”, put down your phone and listen carefully to your children\’s interesting school stories, even if you complain about the canteen food, complain about the conflicts between classmates, complain about the teacher\’s \”illness\”, etc., first respond to your feelings: \”This is really aggrieved\”, and then guide your thinking. 2. Give your children \”limited choices\” instead of making tough requests \”you have to do your homework on weekends\”, it is better to ask: \”Do you want to complete your homework first before playing basketball, or do your homework in the afternoon or do your homework in the evening? \”Let the child feel that \”you have the final say\” is more convincing than directly prohibiting it. 3. Use \”positive feedback\” instead of denying Xiaoyu\’s mother later learned \”magnifying glass-like compliment\” and found that he painted cartoon characters on the edge of the homework book. He did not criticize, but instead said: \”Your painting is pretty, you can try to run a blackboard newspaper for the class. \”The child\’s resistance gradually softened. Later, Xiaoyu applied to run a blackboard newspaper for the classroom, and later became a class art committee member. 2. School chapter: From \”controller\” to \”guidor\”, give a rebellion an exit. In a psychology class, Duoduo, a second-year junior high school student, cried and said, \”I hate my mother flipped through my schoolbag, and even more annoying that she always compared \’other people\’ children\’. \”This made me realize that schools are not only a hall of knowledge, but also a \”safe island\” for children\’s emotions. 1. Create a \”pressure-free confiding angle\” and visited a middle school in Tianjin two weeks ago. They set up a \”Spiritual Tree Cave House\”. Students can send letters of trouble anonymously, and reply to them by a psychology teacher every week. A student once wrote \”I don\’t want to live anymore\”. The psychology teacher went to timely through class observation and individual tutoring.Intervened in a crisis. 2. \”Catch\” with interest. Xiaozhe, who loves to dismantle mechanical equipment, was invited to join the robot club. Now he not only represents the school to participate in the competition, but also actively applies to serve as the leader of the science and technology club group. The essence of rebellion is \”strong vitality\”. Instead of suppressing it, it is better to guide it in the positive direction. 3. Beware of the \”Bimalon effect\” in the psychology of \”label effect\” tells us that when a teacher determines that a certain student is \”unhelpful\”, the child will really develop towards negative expectations. There was once a \”problem student\” Luo Luo who was very serious in cleaning up garbage during a major cleaning event. I praised him for being a \”sense of responsibility\” in public. Later, his enthusiasm for labor increased dramatically. Sometimes, a word of trust is more powerful than ten punishments. 3. Teacher\’s chapter: Let go of the \”authority\” and be a \”peer\” in adolescence. In late autumn last year, Brother Tao (a colleague of mine) found that Xiaoyu, a Chinese class representative, suddenly lost his grades and was frequently distracted in class. During the private communication, she blushed and said, \”Teacher, I think I am ugly, and boys laugh at me for having acne.\” At that moment, Brother Tao suddenly realized that the rebellion of junior high school students was to a certain extent due to confusion about self-identity. 1. Give more opportunities to \”sing on stage\” in class. When explaining \”Young Runtu\”, Brother Tao asked students to adapt textbook dramas in groups. Xiao Zheng, a student who was usually rebellious, took the initiative to play \”Xun Geer\”, showing amazing performance talent during rehearsals. Adolescent children desire to be \”see\”, and a display in the classroom may become the starting point for change. 2. Use \”non-violent communication\” instead of criticism. When you find that students copy homework, it is better to say, \”Why are you so lazy?\” than to scold in public: \”I see that your homework is exactly the same as your deskmate\’s format. This makes me worry that you don\’t really understand the knowledge points. Do you need me to sort out what you don\’t understand?\” 3. Be a \”borderly listener\”: For issues involving privacy, such as emotional confusion, teachers should grasp the principle of \”no judgment, no communication, and give suggestions\”. A girl once cried and said, \”I fell in love with the boys in the next class.\” I told her: \”It is normal to have a good impression of the opposite sex during adolescence, but we can transform this beauty into a driving force for common progress.\” Only when children feel respected will they be willing to open their hearts. At the end, rebellion is a child\’s \”coming-up ceremony\”: Xiao Hang, a graduate student, was invited to his parents for contradicting his teacher. Now he sent a message on Teacher\’s Day: \”Thank you for not giving up on me back then. Now I understand that every quarrel during rebellion is that I am trying to speak like an adult.\” The essence of rebellion in adolescence is that the child declares: \”I am becoming an independent individual.\” As parents and teachers, we don\’t have to worry about \”can\’t control\”, but learn to \”take a step back\”: give children space to try and make hands supported behind their backs, rather than high walls blocking ahead. When schools are more tolerant, parents have more understanding, and teachers have more patience, those \”thorns\” that once pierced people will eventually become soaring wings. After all, every rebellious child has a little adult who desires recognition.