Since it is inevitable to compare with other people’s children, why not compare like this?

Christmas is followed by New Year\’s Day, and 2017 is just around the corner. The children at home have already been thinking about when they can take winter vacation. Don\’t worry, before you can enter the winter vacation, you must first pass the final exam. Children are walking on thin ice, and parents can\’t help but roar when helping their children with homework. The darkness before dawn shouldn\’t take too long. At this time, I miss the situation when my children were young. They had to get up too early, had no homework, and had fun every day. However, children always have to grow up. When they enter the elementary school stage, learning becomes an important task. The final exam is in full swing, and both children and parents are nervous. The results of a semester\’s hard work are about to be revealed. What\’s more, for many children in senior elementary school and junior high school, the results of the final exam are still very important. Anxiety about final exams often comes from comparison. The teacher sent a message about the test results, how many students scored above this number, and how many students scored above this number. At a glance, it is clear which level the child is at. If expectations are not met, you can imagine that no matter how bad the mood of the parents is, the mood of the child will not be much better. When we comfort ourselves and our children, we often say that grades are not important. What is important is whether you work hard to study and take exams. This sentence is so weak. Under the current assessment system, it is nonsense to say that grades are not important. If those grades are not important, what should we still work hard for? We will also remind ourselves not to compare with others, but to compare with our own past and just make progress. However, the rankings and levels are clearly placed there, and the position of your children is clear. Is it really okay not to compare? Maybe our mentality is not as good as we think. A friend\’s child has just entered elementary school and has a very tight schedule every day. From getting up in the morning to before going to school, I recite ancient poems, do math problems, and read aloud in English. It takes a total of 30 minutes to wash up, eat breakfast, and go out. Taking me home in the evening is like going to war. My mother made a detailed list of things that must be completed for the day. After school, there are interest classes for piano, go and mathematics. After class, I go home and eat quickly. Eat well. Homework, and of course mom’s extra homework in English, math, and reading. By the time these homework are finished, it\’s almost 8 o\’clock. I still have to practice piano and exercise. It\’s relatively early to go to bed at 9 o\’clock. A friend said that her son has adapted to this kind of life very well. As for her, she gets up at 5:30 in the morning and goes to bed at 9:30 in the evening. She has to go to work during the day and run three interest classes with her child on the weekends. I feel that my friend’s time schedule with her children is too tight and it’s too hard. Many children have it easier than her children. She said, \”Don\’t compare yourself with others. I only know that this is the only way to ensure that your children are at the forefront of the class, otherwise they will suddenly fall behind.\” But, this is only the first grade! What makes my friend feel gratified is that the child is indeed at the leading level in the class. In fact, I think this is the most naked comparison. As parents, we always hope that our children can be better, whether in class or in school.It is also necessary to be able to excel in the grade. It seems that few parents expect their children to be in a relatively backward position. In fact, it is much harder to admit that your child is just an ordinary child than to admit that you are just an ordinary person. Comparison is an unavoidable topic in our education. On the one hand, comparison is the source of our anxiety. On the other hand, we can indeed find problems in comparison. Children are often compared with someone in the house next door, or with a certain classmate. For example, look at you, you can only skip 120 times a minute, but your classmate can jump to 180, why don’t you learn from him? What about for a while? This is the most common comparison. Various parenting books tell us not to compare our children with other children, let alone compare the shortcomings of our children with other people’s children. However, when children do really well in certain places, It\’s not very good, so can\’t we say something? Sometimes moderate comparison can give children a goal and motivation to move forward. This is like a moderate stimulus, used properly, it can make children more willing to work hard to achieve higher goals. Of course, moderate comparison requires skill and cannot belittle children. For example, I think you are not as good as Xiao Ming. He is very good at skipping rope, but I think you are not good at it. But try saying this: You have been pretty good at skipping recently. I just saw Xiao Ming seeming to be quite good at skipping. He seems to have good endurance and speed. Let’s see how we can improve our endurance and speed? This kind of comparison, on the one hand, first affirms the child\’s efforts and achievements, and then leads to a higher goal, which will be easier for the child to accept and more willing to try and work hard. As long as people live in a social environment, comparisons will inevitably occur. From the height of the child, how much he weighs, whether his body is good or not, how much he eats… we all compare invisibly, and children naturally compare with each other. Who got it today? Whoever has more five-pointed stars will be praised more times by the teacher today… They live in an environment of comparison. And we have no way to completely remove the impact of \”comparison\” on them. We need to let them understand the meaning of comparison, let them understand the meaning of exams, and the meaning of rankings. We also need to give them guidance on a relatively objective and comprehensive self-evaluation before they can correctly understand themselves. Sometimes children may be hit in a certain aspect at school, which will affect their self-evaluation. They may feel that they are not a child that the teacher likes, and they may feel that they are not as good as other students. In fact, this kind of situation also happens to us adults. When we are scolded by our boss, we sometimes doubt ourselves, are we really incapable of doing this? Children in elementary school or even junior high school have not developed a stable self-evaluation. Their self-evaluation depends on various evaluations given to them by the outside world. Therefore, when they receive some negative evaluations, they often forget that they have also received positive evaluations. evaluation of. We can help children to integrate. When they receive some negative comments in school, on the one hand, we will look at where their problems lie, and on the other hand, we willOn the other hand, you need to tell your children that this is only one part of you. You see, you have done very well in many other aspects. Let’s take a look at how to do better in the aspect that you are lacking in. . In this way, children can not only recover from a bad mood, but also slowly develop a more objective evaluation of themselves. Since it is unavoidable, let\’s face the unavoidable \”comparison\” in children\’s learning career calmly. We have to understand that this is just a final exam. From the perspective of a child\’s long life, this may not be anything. Come on, kids! Good luck with your exams!