The main culprit for the decline in children\’s grades is… 90% of parents ignore it

My cousin\’s youngest son is only 9 years old, and he has already become a \”problem child\” in the eyes of parents and teachers. During class, according to the teacher, this child rarely listens carefully for more than 5 minutes. He either provokes his classmates, fights with two pencils like a villain, or drags his cheeks in a daze… When he goes home to do homework, even more It\’s terrible. Not only can I not master many questions, but I also have a lot of problems: going to the toilet, drinking water, eating snacks… Anyway, the homework that can be completed in 40 minutes has to take an hour or two. A few days ago, the school had an exam for the first semester, and this child scored 25 points in math. The head teacher sends WeChat messages or calls to my cousin every week to let the children know more about her. But what\’s the result? My cousin hit, scolded, and encouraged the child with gifts, but there was not much change. My cousin often says that she is about to have an anxiety disorder… This situation among my cousin\’s children is indeed very common, and parents see it and are anxious in their hearts. So why does this happen to children? Are there any potential harms to children in these changes? How can parents help their children solve it? To this end, Youma specially consulted Luo Jing, a specially appointed education expert from the \”Parents\’ Must-Read Lecture\” and a Ph.D. from the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences. Teacher Luo said: When their children are distracted in class and do not take their homework seriously, many parents will call their children \”stupid\”, \”bad\” and \”disobedient\”, and they will be full of nagging, blaming, and even beating and scolding their children. But in fact, these behaviors of children are exactly the manifestations of lack of attention. Lack of attention will not only affect children\’s academic performance, but also have a profound impact on future personality and interpersonal relationships. Children who are inattentive will get worse grades. The teacher\’s lectures in class are arranged in order and time. It is almost impossible to go back and repeat the lecture just because a student did not pay attention. Therefore, if a child often loses focus in class, more and more content will be missed, and it will be impossible to make up for it after class. And as children get higher in grade, the difficulty of the courses and the speed of teachers\’ lectures only increase, and children who are inattentive will suffer more and more. Once a child feels that he has fallen too far behind and cannot catch up no matter how hard he tries, he will develop aversion to learning and resistance. Children who are inattentive are more likely to become problem children. According to foreign research institutions, if a child is inattentive, restless, and makes many small movements for a long time, it may cause \”sensory integration disorder.\” Some children don\’t pay much attention to personal hygiene, and even hate doing things like haircuts, brushing teeth, and bathing; some children become stubborn and weird in temperament, lose their temper at every turn, and often fight with others and cause trouble. If things continue like this, these children will not only have bad relationships with their parents and teachers, but also with their partners. As a result, their interpersonal relationships will be particularly poor and they will lack the ability to integrate into the group. Children who are inattentive are prone to low self-esteem. Attention itself will not affect the child\’s personality, but poor grades, bad temper, and poor relationships with classmates caused by inattention will often attract criticism from parents and teachers. Being criticized and accused by adults for a long time will have an extremely negative impact on the child\’s heart and make the child becomeDoubting oneself, denying oneself, and causing problems such as cowardice, pessimism, and timidity. This is still very harmful to the child\’s future growth. The following is provided by Dr. Luo Jing: Diagnostic criteria for ADHD in children. Everyone can vote based on the situation of their own children. Boxes represent multiple selections, circles represent single selections. These daily behaviors are the most damaging to children\’s attention, but we often do it. Mom once took her daughter Xiaoyou to participate in a creative puzzle activity in the kindergarten. She used glue to stick a bunch of small shells, melon seeds, beans, etc. on cardboard. , put together various patterns, then dip your fingers in paint to embellish them, and finally see who is the most creative. At the beginning, it was all the children who were doing it. Some scattered the beans everywhere, some squeezed out a big lump of glue at once, some had paint all over their hands and clothes, and some even Stealing melon seeds… Although it looks messy, the children are doing it seriously and hard, and playing with great interest. But not long after, many mothers nearby became a little impatient. They first reminded their children: \”How beautiful it is when you use shells to make a fish\”, \”Melon seed shells can be used as leaves\”, \”You dip your hands in paint and take pictures.\” \”Butterfly\”… When the mothers were anxiously giving instructions, several children were obviously at a loss. They wanted to do as their mothers said, but they didn\’t understand what their mothers meant, so they just stopped there and didn\’t know. What to do. Some mothers were even more anxious and went straight to help their children: \”Why is the baby so stupid? Look, it looks like a fish when put together like this?\” \”You first draw a tree trunk, and then stick the melon seeds on it like this.\” Come, just like mom, dip your hands in some paint.\” At this time, many children stood timidly behind their mothers, watching their mothers help them. From the expressions of the children, it was obvious that their interest was no longer as high as before. Some children looked around and ran to make trouble for others. It is obviously a creative puzzle activity for children, but in the end it almost becomes an arena for mothers. Children\’s attention can be said to be innate, and it needs to be continuously strengthened and exercised through independent play and learning the day after tomorrow. However, parents often deprive their children of opportunities to exercise and disturb their children\’s attention in the name of \”love\”, \”care\” and \”help\”. There are many such things. For example, when a child is seriously building blocks, a parent runs over and asks, \”What are you doing? Tell mom about it?\” For example, when a child is playing with toys seriously, grandma will feed him after a while.口水，一会往嘴里塞块香蕉，一会吼一嗓子：“脏！再弄揍你！”……孩子的注意力，就这样在我们的“爱”“关怀中”，被打扰地支离破碎. When they go to school, they often have problems such as being distracted in class, unable to sit still, and struggling with homework. Many mothers often ask: \”How to improve children\’s attention?\” In fact, the best time to protect attention is before school. Once this period has passed, although it can be corrected, it is relatively laborious. The best way to protect a child\’s attention is to create an environment where he or she will not be disturbed from an early age, allowing the child to concentrate on playing with toys, building blocks, and doing puzzles. Just like the famous children\’s educationAs Montessori said: “Never disturb a child unless you are invited!”