The terrible 14-year-old \”second grade phenomenon\”! When dealing with adolescent children, the most important four words are:

01 I recently had a dinner with some teacher friends and talked about children’s studies, and several teachers all mentioned the “second grade phenomenon”. They visited a home some time ago, and one parent reported: \”The child was originally very obedient, but after entering the second grade of junior high school, he suddenly seemed to be a different person. He would contradict anything I told him, and sometimes he would just ignore it.\” This time My high school entrance examination scores have improved. I wanted to take this opportunity to be good to my children. It was time to communicate, but I didn’t expect the child to get into the room as soon as he entered the door and refused to communicate. After nagging for a few more words, he threw something. I was confused. He had never been angry with me before. What on earth was going on with him. ?!\” There are many similar situations, and the protagonists of the stories are all junior high school students. This is no coincidence, this is actually a very common \”second grade phenomenon\”! Adolescent children are in a period of \”great physical and mental changes\”, especially for students in the second grade of junior high school. Students in the second grade of junior high school are the most difficult to manage and are known as the \”second grade student phenomenon.\” One is rebellion. Many parents find that their children, who have always been well-behaved and obedient, suddenly become rebellious, impulsive, irritable, talk back, or simply refuse to communicate with their parents. I can tolerate just being a little rebellious, but what is even more unbearable is that my grades have plummeted, just like the current A-share market. Another phenomenon is falling in love prematurely, which can be tolerated by the uncle but not by the aunt. There is also Internet addiction, especially among boys. Some even skip classes and surf the Internet. 02Why do so many symptoms appear concentrated in children in the second grade of junior high school? We can find causes in physiological and psychological as well as environmental factors. 1. Physiologically and psychologically American psychologist Hollingworth calls students in the second grade of junior high school in a \”psychological weaning period.\” Children in the second grade of junior high school are about 14 years old and are in the period of puberty. Due to the secretion of growth hormone in the body, a series of psychological changes occur. Their physical development is not synchronized with their psychological development and control ability. The body is gradually maturing, but its self-management and control abilities are still relatively weak. It is easy to lose control if it follows instinctive desires. Along with the drastic physical changes, their psychology also experienced rapid development. They dare to question the authority of their parents, put forward their own opinions on issues, and do not blindly follow simple and crude teaching methods, or even refuse to accept them. Second, environmental factors include increased academic pressure. In the second grade of junior high school, all subjects have become more difficult, and their academic performance has become divergent. Children with poor grades are prone to develop negative psychology such as low self-esteem, rebellion, isolation, indulgence and revenge, and eventually develop into more serious psychological disorders. For these children, they also want to find a way to prove their abilities, such as social interaction, virtual world, etc., to find a sense of accomplishment. 03 The second grade of junior high school is a period of stable development. There is no novelty and temporary pressure of middle school life in the first grade of junior high school, nor the pressure of the dilemma of graduation, further education, and career choice in the third grade of junior high school. It is a relatively stable period. This period is a period of concentrated study and hard work, but it is also a period of drastic changes, a period of climbing, and a watershed. The second grade phenomenon is not only a challenge for children, but also poses a severe test to the parent-child relationship. According to a survey, 18.50% of parents feel that the parent-child relationship between them and their children is gradually alienated, while 6.3%3% of parents feel that the parent-child relationship has become increasingly tense. However, alienation and tension in the parent-child relationship are only superficial symptoms of the problem, and there may be more deep-seated problems behind it. The stricter the parents are, the more rebellious the children will be; the more reprimanding the parents will be, the more the children will talk back. For parents, the most important thing to help their children successfully get through the second grade phenomenon is four words: role change. We must learn to change from a commander to a companion and advisor; when looking at a child\’s performance, we must also look at the child\’s overall quality, character and cultivation. 1. Children will be what they are depending on their parents’ attitude. Ultimately, children’s problems are their parents’ problems. Behind every abnormal behavior, the reason can be found in the education he received. If parents are still accustomed to the past \”one word\” approach and stand on the opposite side of their children, they will only become their children\’s enemies. 2. Don’t compete with “second grade” children, respect the first. 1. Let go of your inherent cognition and understand the needs behind your child’s behavior. 2. Treat the child as an independent individual and give him a certain right to choose. 3. \”Shut your mouth\” appropriately to avoid conflicts.