This thing is enough to destroy a child. No matter how angry the mother is, she can\’t do it! I feel regretful after watching the intestines

We all long to raise a perfect child. We hope that the child will have a lively and cheerful personality, be polite in life, and be diligent and conscious in learning. However, children\’s growth never follows the routine we set, and various problems always arise, which often makes us feel anxious and disappointed. Therefore, it is easy for us to express our dissatisfaction and harsh criticism towards our children, and unintentionally give negative labels to our children: \”This child is too lazy\”, \”Why is this child so stupid\”, \”This child does not say hello to others and is rude\” …However, a child’s character, personality, and habits are still developing and have not yet been finalized. Drawing a negative conclusion for a child prematurely can easily cast a shadow that will last a lifetime! Just like the famous American pediatrician Adele Farber said: \”Never underestimate the impact of your words on a child\’s life.\” Label children\’s emotions with negative labels such as joy, anger, sadness, and fear. They are the four most basic types of human emotions, which are essentially neither good nor bad. The ability of \”joy\” allows children to laugh heartily when they gain a sense of satisfaction and achievement; the ability of \”anger\” allows children to fight back when they are violated; the ability of \”sorrow\” allows children to remember when they encounter misfortune In the past, reflect on yourself; the ability to \”fear\” allows children to be prepared to save themselves or escape when encountering danger. But in life, parents particularly hate other emotions in their children besides \”joy\”. When a child cries, we find him annoying and say he is disobedient; when a child gets angry, we criticize him for having a bad temper; when a child dares not say hello to uncles and aunts, we scold him for being timid… You know, the child is still young, and he has a bad temper. The management and control of emotions is very immature. Children\’s crying and anger are often just normal expressions of emotions, and are not serious enough to be \”worthless\”, \”cowardly\” or \”bad\”. If we put negative labels on children from an early age, it will have a very negative impact on the development of children\’s self-esteem and self-confidence. Label your child\’s behavior negatively. Have you ever called your child a \”lazy egg\” when he stayed up in bed in the morning? When your child just entered first grade and couldn\’t do simple arithmetic, did you call him \”idiot\”? When your child is unwilling to share a toy with a relative\’s child, have you ever snatched the toy away and then called it \”selfish\”? In fact, the starting point of parents is good, and it is a bit resentful that iron cannot become steel. Calling children \”lazy\” is to hope that children will feel ashamed and work hard; calling children to be stupid is to hope that children can study hard in the future… But, we Think about the actual situation in life, have children really changed for the better because of this? Usually not! Many times, when a child fails to do something well, his little heart is also experiencing pressure. If parents cannot be considerate of their children\’s feelings at this time and say rude words such as \”idiot\” and \”selfish\”, not only will they not be able to inspire their children\’s motivation to \”know their shame and then be brave\”, but they will seriously dampen their children\’s self-esteem and aggravate their bad behavior. Behavior. Negative labels stick with each other, and they become true. A few days ago, I went to get a haircut, and I met a kid who looked like a middle school student who also went for a haircut. As soon as he entered the door, the barber shop owner asked: \”Little brother, look at your hair style, it’s only been less than two days, right? Need a fix? The child muttered reluctantly: \”Oh, don\’t mention it!\” Yesterday I went to a good barber shop to get a haircut, but when I got home, whoever saw it said it didn’t look good! Chouren, please fix it for me soon! \”I looked back and saw that this kid had a \”rocket haircut.\” It was short and quite energetic. Although it was a bit offbeat, it wasn\’t as unsightly as he said, and it shouldn\’t be considered a weird haircut at school. But As soon as I got home, my mother said it didn\’t look good, my father said it didn\’t look good, and grandma said it didn\’t look good… They all agreed, and the child began to waver. Could it be that my hair style was really ugly? So I came to have it fixed. In fact, Children\’s cognitive ability is very imperfect, and most of their understanding and evaluation of themselves come from their parents\’ attitudes. If parents think that their children are optimistic, sunny, and polite people, then the children will accept This kind of hint requires you to use optimistic, sunny and polite standards. Similarly, if parents keep labeling their children as \”stupid\”, \”naughty\” and \”stupid\”, the children will also accept these negative hints and slowly accept them. The reality that he is \”stupid\”, \”naughty\” and \”stupid\”. Whenever he encounters difficulties and setbacks, his first reaction is not how to overcome them, but to sigh helplessly in his heart: \”Oh, I am just stupider than others. What method…\” How to tear off the negative labels on children (1) Look for opportunities to let children re-recognize themselves. For those children who have been scolded as \”stupid\”, \”naughty\” and \”badass\” all year round, a heartfelt praise from their mother is more important than 100 sentences of criticism is more effective. Of course, in order to prevent your praise from being too blunt and insincere, you can use some tricks. Letting your child overhear your positive comments about him is a very effective way. For example, when you are talking to When grandma is on the phone, she can sit a little closer to her child, and then say in a slightly louder voice: \”Mom, I took your grandson to get vaccinated today, and he actually rolled up his sleeves! I suddenly felt that he was so brave! \”This kind of \”unintentional\” praise is simply a surprise for the children. It allows the children to see the shining points in themselves very strongly and have a strong desire to change. (2) Set an example for the children and tell them What should your child do? If your child is unwilling to say hello to strangers, you\’d better realize that the child\’s social range is very small. It\’s normal to be afraid of strangers, and it has nothing to do with being \”shy\” or \”impolite\”. Above. So, we just need to teach our children \”how to do it\”, and don\’t rush to label them as \”shy\” or \”impolite\”. My daughter didn\’t like to say hello to others before, and I didn\’t like to say hello to others either. I talked to her and scolded her, but as a result, she shrank back even more when she saw strangers. Later, I listened to the advice of my friend Teacher Fan Wei (a special lecturer of the Parents’ Must-read Lecture Hall). Every time I saw my neighbors, I would No longer forcing my daughter, but imitating the voice of a child, saying cheerfully and softly: \”Good morning, Aunt Zhang! \”Good afternoon, grandpa!\” \”…At first, when my daughter heard me shouting this, she was amused and giggled. But after a while, when she saw the neighbors again, she was willing toHe followed me and said hello. You see, if you tell your children clearly and specifically what to do and set an example for them, your children will naturally learn to change. And this kind of change comes from the heart, making it easier to stick to it. (3) When the child becomes the same as before, please be more patient. I am the mother of a child myself, so I know very well the disappointment and discouragement in the hearts of parents when their children refuse to change despite repeated admonitions. However, when the words \”stupid\”, \”naughty\” and \”bad\” come to our throats again, can we swallow them hard? Isn’t our goal to raise a child with a sunny personality, good habits, and good control over his emotions? If we as parents can\’t do this, who can we expect to educate our children?