What does a poor boy look like?

Mr. Unhappy dislikes going to the English class to pick up Xiao Fuqi from school, because the parents who take English classes with him often drive million-dollar luxury cars or wear fur worth tens of thousands of yuan. This frustrated him and deeply hurt his self-esteem. He even yelled at me: \”If you don\’t have the financial strength, don\’t join in the fun.\” It is true that the annual tuition for children to attend English classes is not cheap, but with this money saved, our living standards cannot jump to a new class at once . What\’s more, children before the age of 6 are in a sensitive period for language. Language learning requires early exposure and frequent practice. What\’s more, compared to the greater disparity between rich and poor, education is a relatively fair thing. So, since you have the ability, why not go for it. Firstly, I don’t want to compare, and secondly, I don’t want to make up for my shortcomings, I just try my best not to have any regrets. I understand Mr. Unhappy\’s sensitivity. He was raised in poverty. The word \”poor\” was like a curse that followed him like a shadow, weighing him down. The \”poor support\” mentioned here is not simply economic deprivation. In fact, the unhappy parents are both public servants, and the family never lacks food or clothing. On the contrary, his family\’s economic conditions are better than those of ordinary families, and they are definitely not financially strapped in school. However, his parents were never willing to spend any extra money on him. He is very talented in art and wants to learn painting, but his parents won\’t let him. When I was older, I wanted to learn pulleys, but my parents wouldn\’t let me. Later, when I wanted to learn computers, my parents still wouldn\’t let me. They think these things waste time and money. Because boys have to be raised poor. How poor is it? Not even a piece of plasticine was bought for Mr. Grumpy. The ones he plays with are the ones that his classmates brought to school, which are dirty and can no longer be distinguished by color. He used this kind of plasticine to shape a lifelike little man. When his father saw it, he would slap him and then throw the little man to the ground. If you think that a boy who was raised poor as a child will have a tougher and more responsible character when he grows up. Let me tell you from personal experience, no. The fact is that boys raised in poverty are likely to grow up to become poor fathers. Until now, Mr. Unhappy still regards \”using money to satisfy any of his desires\” as a sin and feels that he is not worthy of it. He even struggles with buying a bottle of Coke that costs 3 yuan. He never goes to the mall because the price tags hurt his eyes. He also doesn’t have a Taobao account because he’s afraid that he won’t be able to resist buying the things he has in his shopping cart. One of the reasons why he chose to marry me is because I don’t wear makeup and it looks cheaper. Now, no matter what toy I buy for Little Fuqi, he has to take it and play with it first before he can enjoy it. In his eyes, the little blessing of having so many toys is simply outrageous luxury. Another example of someone who was raised poor is my younger brother. The younger brother is 26 years old. He is a hardcore otaku who is said to have \”Any place other than the bed is a distant place, and any place beyond the reach of the hand is a foreign country.\” It seems that my brother\’s behavior is his own problem. But one time when my parents were not at home, I talked to my brother about his growing up experience and found out that the reason why he became like this is fundamentally the same.The point is also because of \”poverty\”. He said that in middle school, children of the same age will focus on a certain area of ​​interest when they reach adolescence. For example, girls like beautiful clothes, while boys pursue new electronic products. He is the only one who wears a school uniform all year round and carries an old denim schoolbag that a relative\’s child has discarded. In addition, he was fat, poorly dressed, and didn\’t have a penny of pocket money in his hand. Even if someone wanted to ask him out to play, they had to give up. Year after year, day after day, he finally succeeded in being ostracized by his classmates and became a dispensable marginal figure in the class. He could only play with virtual game characters every day. He doesn\’t dare to play large-scale online games because they cost money. He also had an internship and received a salary, but he could not change his \”poor\” status because the salary card was always in my mother\’s hand and she had to report every penny she wanted to spend. By being excessively harsh on a boy and depriving him of his childhood happiness, your starting point may be to cultivate the good habit of thrift in him, but in fact, you have branded him with an aura of poverty that will never be erased in his life. Moreover, financial constraints will make a person small, mean and greedy, and will distort his character, making him view the world from a vulgar perspective, and make him pay every penny. Since boys raised in poverty are unhappy, what about the parents of boys raised in poverty? As far as I know, most of them aren\’t doing too well either. My parents are the kind of parents who eat leftovers all year round and are reluctant to buy a new piece of clothing. Mr. Unhappy\’s parents also strive to spend every penny wisely. One thing they have in common is that they feel that their children, who were raised in poverty, have no ability to make money at all, so they hold on to every penny they have. Not only that, even if we buy something for them, their first reaction is \”How much did it cost?\” \”Is it expensive?\” \”Is this thing useful?\”… Obviously the children love them very much, and they But I can never be happy. Recently, Xiao Fu fell in love with eating cherries. The cherries themselves are not cheap, and there are not many 3J-grade cherries in good quality. It is not a problem for Xiaofu to eat a pound a day. Although I had done my homework in advance and told my mother-in-law that I bought it at a discount. But she still has a lot of dissatisfaction with buying such expensive fruits for her children to eat. \”It\’s too expensive. What\’s so delicious about this?\” \”It\’s so expensive. Will it make you eat more meat?\”… Xiaofu was eating while carefully observing my mother\’s reaction. Later, I took Xiao Fuqi to the supermarket. When he saw the price tag of cherries, he suddenly said to me, \”Mom, cherries are too expensive. I won\’t eat them.\” I felt sour after hearing this. \”The child can\’t even afford fruit\” came out sadly, and the sadness started from it. I said to him, \”Cherrys are not cheap, but if you like to eat them, you can still eat them! If you want to eat them but they are too expensive, we can exchange them for other things. For example, buy one less toy or buy one less toy every day.\” I help my mother step on my back to make money at night. You can buy cherries after you earn money.\” Xiaofu recognized my suggestion, and I also reduced the frequency of buying cherries, and asked him to take the initiative to share them with his family before eating them. other people. In fact, when we talk about money, it’s more aboutTalk about our dignity. For example, we also want to have a lot of money, so that we can take care of our children by ourselves, without our parents having to work hard for us, and to avoid all kinds of conflicts. When you have money, you fly to seaside cities when the air is bad, and when you get sick, you ask the world\’s top doctors for help and consultation. However, the current situation is that he has no money and limited abilities. He may not be able to live a good life even in his lifetime. But at least, I can give him a relatively comfortable living and educational environment within my capabilities, so that he can not only understand the hardships of making money, but also feel the beauty of life. I don’t want my children to develop the habit of “giving them what they ask for”, and I don’t want to be deliberately harsh on my children and carve the word “poor” on their foreheads from an early age. I want my kids to know that cherries are delicious and so are apples. Choose which one you like because you like it, not because one of them is cheaper. However, if you want your children not to be raised poor, you cannot deprive yourself of them. The only feasible way is to work hard to make money. And when we strive for money for a certain goal, we are actually striving for more choices in life and greater freedom. Whether one is raised poor or rich, is often a much-discussed topic. In fact, no matter how one is raised, the influence of the original family will subtly accompany the child throughout his life. It is very important for parents to grasp the \”measures\” between being poor and being rich. We refuse to exploit the happiness of children\’s childhood, but we cannot turn it into uncontrolled \”material flooding\”. We try to give our children a relatively comfortable life within our ability. Living and educational environment, because such \”enrichment\” means more happiness and more freedom for children.