When a child says \”I\’m going to beat you to death…\”

One day at noon while cooking. The son was walking around the living room alone, playing with his golden hoop. I watched him dance around and reminded him to be careful not to smash things. In great interest, he suddenly ran over to me and said, \”Dad, if you keep talking, I will rip out your heart.\” Oh my god, he said such cruel words. I pretended not to hear. He just repeated it again. It seems there is no way to escape. I asked him unhurriedly: \”Why are you doing this? Isn\’t it a little too cruel!\” \”Huh!\” The demo just wanted to express his dissatisfaction. He felt that I was disturbing his play. I\’m not in a hurry because I know that he probably learned these harsh words from listening to Journey to the West. The goblins eat Tang Monk\’s meat every day, and he also learned a lot. What\’s more, in the past two years, he has said more than a few cruel words. I\’m used to it too. As long as he doesn\’t attack other children, he is generally allowed to play freely and explore to his heart\’s content. For example, when he was almost three years old, he said, \”I\’ll beat you to death!\” \”I\’ll split you in half!\” \”Be careful, I\’ll tear you apart!\”…all kinds of cruel words, countless. Last time a mother left a message and said: \”I am the mother of a 6-year-old boy. The child is now in the first grade. He has a lively and outgoing personality. He has strong independent learning ability, knows what he knows, and likes to read. But this is how his performance looks to outsiders. A child who is excellent and has good conduct has always been saying harsh words recently, and he is getting more cruel every time! He is very childish, and when something is not satisfactory, for example, his grandma said that he has lost weight recently and needs to eat more; he does not look good when he draws. ; writing carelessly and so on, his fiery temper suddenly came out. At first he asked us, \”Why am I not writing well? Isn\’t this good?\” ! \”Then it was \”I\’ll just write it like this!\” What\’s going on? ! Later it became \”I\’ll kill you, I\’ll chop you to death, get out!\” \”Up to now\” \”I\’m going to get the knife right now, and I\’ll chop you into pieces!\” \”, accompanied by the movement of wanting to hit someone. When a child says harsh words, you need to see if the child has entered the sensitive period of cursing: this is a psychological growth period between the ages of 3 and 5, and there are also special, 2 It started at the age of 6 and continues at the age of 6. Characteristics: \”stinky ass\”, \”shit\”, \”beat you to death\”, \”kick you to death\”, these words that sound uncivilized and somewhat scary always come from In the mouths of children of this age. Because children discover that language is powerful at this time, and the words that best express power are curses, and the stronger the adult reaction, the more children like to say it. Suggestion: Don’t pay too much attention to children’s language , this is not what he really wants to express, and he will slowly wait for this stage to pass. Once, because his son was being disciplined by his mother, he angrily said to his mother, \”I\’m going to beat you to death!\” \”,\”I do not like you! \”My wife took it seriously, her eye circles were red, and her hurt index was quite high. I acted as a mediator. I told her that the child didn\’t mean what he said, and he just expressed his dissatisfaction through these words. Let\’s not be angry or feel uncomfortable. Just Treat it calmly. After my son calmed down and played with me, I said to him, \”Are you angry with your mother just now? \”\”Yes! \”Then you can say \’I\’m angry\’ and tell meThey\’ll be fine. \”If you say beat mom to death, mom will be really upset.\” You probably don’t want to make your mother feel uncomfortable either. \”At this time, the child nodded. It is far better to communicate with the child when he is calm than to prohibit him when he was angry. You must know that the emotional development of children is the same as the growth of the body: it requires a long-term process. Human emotions themselves are rich. Colorful. It is too difficult to describe it in detailed language. It is impossible for an adult to express his emotions in words. Let alone a child? Therefore, when a child \”curses\” severely, it is often expressing Their inner dissatisfaction. Or expressing their own opinions – I don\’t agree. When expressing, they often rarely take into account the feelings of others, or ignore the environment. What we have to do is to help children recover their emotions as soon as possible and learn to manage them , control. After the child calms down, you can guide the child to empathize. Think about it from the perspective of others. They will realize their inappropriateness. The child will slowly change it. Saying harsh words means that the child is against He has a strong sense of language. He finds language very interesting and feels the power of language. Especially when parents see their children saying harsh words, they immediately become nervous. Or they try to stop them as if they are facing a formidable enemy. The child will I think it turns out that these words have such great power. For example, when we go out to play, we often see children quarreling. At first, they may be bragging to each other about how good they are, but later the angry one will definitely say harsh words. I will beat you to death. , trample you to pieces or something. It’s very interesting to come and go. Adults don’t take it to heart at all, just let them test the power of these words. Because the more adults restrain children, the more you restrain them, the more they will say When the psychologist Skinner studied how to modify people\’s behavior, the \”extinction\” method proposed by him is very suitable for correcting children\’s behavior. When a child starts to say some swear words or cruel words, he can simply ignore them and \”pretend to be deaf.\” \”Dumb\” is okay. In many cases, children will give up because they don\’t get the desired results. If the child one day says \”You are a big idiot!\” \”, \”You are a turd ball! \”If you immediately forbid him to say it, he will definitely feel that this word is powerful. He will use it secretly next time. For example, I found that my son once saw a book that his cousin did not recognize and he said.\” so stupid! \”I told him at that time that I couldn\’t talk about my sister like that. Unexpectedly, he became addicted. Sometimes I didn\’t do something well. He would immediately say \”I\’m so stupid!\” \”But I resolutely had no reaction at this time. As a result, he stopped talking after talking for a while. Teaching children to use correct vocabulary to express their thoughts is the key for parents to deal with the sensitive period of children\’s curse. Children are generally 18 years old After 3 months, we enter the language explosion period. During this period, the role of parents is very important. Parents need to talk to their children more every day. When we take the children with us, when the children are observing, we wait for them to observe carefully. After that, you can talk to them more. You can ask, \”What did you just see?\” ” Or it can arouse the child’s interest, “Look at this carefully.” \”Never hold a mobile phone and stare at the screen. Too muchTalk to your child. Children will learn to express themselves through conversations between their parents and themselves. And they are exposed to many words through what their parents say. For example, I found that my son often repeated one of my words. Especially the ones he hadn\’t heard of. For example, once, my hand was cut. I just said, \”Oh, if there is inflammation, a lot of white blood cells will die.\” He heard it strangely, \”White blood cells? Dad, what did you say?\” I said white blood cells! \”What are white blood cells? What are they used for?\” It\’s time for biology class. I started to tell him about the components of blood and the division of labor among red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets. Then we can talk about the blood circulation system. Although I am a liberal arts student, the biology in middle school is enough to teach my children. It’s in the process of accompanying your children. We talk and the children listen, or the children talk and we listen. Between speaking and listening is the best parent-child time. It is also the best time for education. Another way is to read together with your children. Everyone has a learning stage where words don\’t convey the meaning. And reading is the most effective way. Each book has a theme for us to communicate with our children. When reading, it is not just as simple as telling a story. Children\’s vocabulary often grows at an alarming rate. And when children master more vocabulary. You will have more choices when expressing and will be much more accurate. Be able to use the power of this language more easily. This is the truth of \”the spirit of poetry and calligraphy comes from the heart\”!