Why do you have to be the first to pick up your child when he goes to kindergarten? The reason is more heartwarming than you think

Every time she sends Bu Niu to kindergarten, she always begs seriously: \”Mom, you must be the first to pick me up!\” Cuckoo\’s mother said, \”Okay, mom, try to come early.\” At this time, other children next to her heard it and quickly shouted to her mother who had not yet walked away: \”Mom, come to pick me up at 4 o\’clock!\” So the children shouted, \”Mom. Come and wait at 3:30!\” \”Mom, come to pick me up at 2 o\’clock!\” \”Mom, come to pick me up after lunch.\” Our group of mothers found it funny. Come so early, drink the northwest wind? We will think that it doesn’t matter if it’s a matter of how much it is to pick up the child a few minutes earlier or later. Why do children value it very much? The reason is more heartwarming than you think. 1: Why do you have to be the first to pick up your child when he goes to kindergarten? I have to admit that for the children, being picked up first is indeed a very respectable thing. The kids in kindergarten are very simple. Whoever was picked up first, and whose parents appeared first seemed to have become the \”little stars\” of the day. Everyone\’s eyes would all look at the door, and the proud expression of \”I\’ll leave first, beg you\” was really satisfying the little vanity in the hearts of the children. In addition, there is actually a little secret hidden in the child\’s heart, called \”sense of certainty\”. What is a sense of certainty? We all need to be loved \”confirmly\”. And for young children, this sense of certainty\” is particularly important. For a child who has just entered kindergarten, kindergarten is a brand new world. Although there are many toys and many friends, after leaving parents, the world is always full of uncertainty. At this time, \”the first to be picked up\” is the fastest way for children to get a sense of certainty. Because when your figure appears at the door on time, the child will immediately realize: \”Mom said she will pick me up early, and she is really here! \”I am particularly important to my mother, and she really values ​​me! \”So, the child is rushing to be picked up first. On the surface, it seems to be a competition between children, but in fact it is to use this method to determine that he is loved. This explains why you have occasionally achieved the first time to pick up the child, but the child is not satisfied: because the sense of certainty is a continuous need, not that it is enough to meet occasionally. 2: There is also a little \”little anxiety\” in the world of children, which is a little more complicated than what we think. We often think that going to kindergarten is just singing and dancing and playing with building blocks? What pressure is there? But in fact, this is the first time in the true sense of the child\’s life \”Leaving home\”. That kind of small anxiety is called \”separation anxiety\”. Although the child will adapt to the kindergarten quickly, deep down, he still longs to go home and return to the place where they feel warm and safe. \”The first one to pick up\” is the fastest channel for children to return to a sense of security. To use a simple metaphor, a child is like a small power bank, \”discharged\” in the kindergarten all day, and his body and mind are already urgently needed to recharge. The first person to pick him up is the person who \”recharges\” him the fastest. Maybe you will think: \”It\’s not that I won\’t come to pick him up, can\’t it be possible to be a little late? \”Of course, but for the child, earlier and later,The meaning is completely different. Every minute early, the child will have less anxiety in his heart. 3: What children really value is not \”first\”, but your attitude. Many times, when a child asks to be the first to be picked up, it is not that he has to become a \”little star\” in the class every time, but that he is using this to confirm your attitude: \”Will you work hard to do it because of my request?\” There is a deeper need behind this, called \”being valued.\” Sometimes we are busy with work and hurry to the kindergarten gate. When we are a few minutes late, we feel \”indifferent\”. But in the child\’s heart, these few minutes may mean that he was tiptoing at the door, looking around constantly, and waiting to feel panic. There is a lot of room for buffering in our adult world, but there is not so much space for children’s inner world. They test you with the \”first one\” because they want to feel: \”Mom really cares about my feelings.\” Just as psychologist Li Songwei once said: \”What children really need is never perfect parents, but a certain feeling of being seen.\” It doesn\’t matter whether you can get the \”first reception\” of your doing. The key is how you respond to him. Maybe you can tell your child: \”Mom knows you want me to come early, and I will try my best to do it.\” Instead of saying lightly, \”Isn\’t it the same for the first time to pick it up?\” As long as the child feels your importance, in fact, even if you occasionally get it a little later, he can quickly settle down. 4: There is no need to grab the first place every time. Speaking of this, you may ask: \”Does I have to grab the first place every time in the future?\” Of course not. Occasionally you can even pick up the second or third person on purpose. This can make the child gradually get used to waiting, and it can also make him understand that even if he is not the first one, the mother will still come and love will never be absent. Children\’s sense of security comes from every time we take it seriously. For children, the real value of \”first reception\” is not the order, but: you care about me, so you are willing to come early. Every small request taken seriously plants a small seed in the child\’s heart and eventually grows into a firm belief: \”No matter when, I am firmly loved by my mother.\” Perhaps this is the child\’s innocence: he uses the simplest and most clumsy method to try to firmly grasp your gaze. So, next time the child says, \”Mom, you must be the first to pick me up today!\” We can agree to him with a smile, or tell him quietly, \”Mom is the second to pick you up today, but Mom will bring you a surprise!\” Because we all know that what children really need is not to be the first every time, but you can respond seriously every time. Every time you appear on time, in the eyes of your children, it is the greatest happiness – after all, for them, the real magic is never the \”first\”, but the consistent companionship and seriousness in every ordinary day.