Why don’t the child want to poop in kindergarten? 3 reasons parents should be clear about

Every day when I pick up my baby, many mothers’ first words are not “Have you had fun today”, but—— “Did you poop today?” This matter looks small, but in many families, it has become a “daily question.” When the child arrives at kindergarten, he refuses to poop. Even if he is at home, he starts to hold back, endure and hide when he goes to kindergarten. My face turned red and my head was sweating profusely, and I refused to let it go there. Some mothers are very anxious and are afraid that their children will have constipation. Some people began to wonder if the teacher did not go to the toilet. Some simply think that children are \”working\”. Why don’t the child want to poop in kindergarten? It’s really not that the child is pretentious. Parents should be clear about three reasons. 1: The child is \”practiceing control\” and is unwilling to hand over his privacy. Is this happening to your child? Before going out in the morning, I said that my stomach was uncomfortable, and hesitated when I asked. When I arrived at kindergarten, the teacher said that I had never pulled it all day. When I got on the bus after school, I complained that my stomach hurts, and I successfully squatted at the pit three minutes after I got home. Does it look like the machine and the site selection are carefully selected? In fact, this is not constipation, but the \”control feeling\” awakening. A child aged three or four is in the \”autonomy period\”. At this stage, they are particularly concerned about \”I have the final say\”. The defecation is the most primitive and instinctive \”control behavior\”. Where to pull, when to pull, and who to show it, this is the \”sovereignty\” of the child\’s own body. If he feels that the environment is unsafe, unfamiliar, or just doesn\’t trust that much, he will instinctively press the \”pause button\”. No, he is saying, \”I am not familiar with this land yet. Don\’t worry about my physical affairs.\” Many mothers think that their children are afraid of dirt and teachers. In fact, what is deeper is that they don\’t want to expose their most privacy in unfamiliar environments. In our eyes, pooping is a physiological behavior, and in our eyes, it is a \”boundary experiment\”. It’s not that they can’t control it well, but they want to control it too much. How to break it? We are not persuading or urging, but making him feel that control is in his hands. We can discuss with the teacher: ① Give \”right to choose\”. For example, the teacher can say, \”Do you want to choose a trick yourself, or do the teacher help you choose?\” – It\’s not about forcing him to pull him, but about asking him to choose how to face it. ②Agree on the \”signal\” to let the child make a secret appointment with the teacher, such as a small gesture or saying \”I want to be quiet\”, the teacher will take him to the bathroom, which not only preserves privacy but also avoids coercion. ③ If you allow \”no pulling\” we should tell your child: \”If you want to pull, don\’t rush. You know the most about your physical matters.\” When a child is not afraid of the pressure of \”must pulling\”, it is easier to let it go. The child needs time to \”claim\” this toilet territory. When he felt that he could control this place, he could naturally pull it. 2: Fear of being embarrassed and being joked. The child\’s \”shaming\” was launched. A 3-year-old girl told her mother: \”I don\’t want to pull it. There are other children in the toilet, and they will laugh at me.\” The mother was stunned when she heard this: It turned out that it was not that she didn\’t want to pull it, but that she cared too much about other people\’s opinions. When the child reaches his 3 years old, he gradually begins to develop \”self-awareness\”. They will care about how others view themselves, especially whether the \”special actions\” have been paid attention to and whether they have been ridiculed. The sound and smell of pooping are often watched or commented by other children, \”She is pooping, \”It smells so smelly\”… Don\’t look at it just a child\’s words, for children, these words are \”social damage\”. He will subconsciously feel: it turns out that pooping in kindergarten is a \”shameful\” thing. Shame is planted like this. Before, it was easy for a child to poop at home because you were guarding outside the door, and he knew you wouldn\’t laugh at him. But now, outside the toilet, there are peers, people who can speak and have a little \”aggressive\” attitude, so the child will naturally be nervous. At this time, adults can no longer use \”everyone pooping,\” There is anything to be afraid of? To comfort me. The child knows that everyone will do it, but what he is afraid of is not \”porn\”, but \”I am porn\” and others see it\”. We can try to play \”character games\” with the child, such as \”doll going to the toilet\”. We play a play with a rag doll: the doll just wants to porn, but was laughed at by the doll next door, and then she faced it bravely. Let the child experience it in the game: it turns out that it\’s nothing to be laughed at, but it turns out that \”don\’t laugh at me\”. You can also teach the child \”dialogue script\”, such as someone saying \”you porn, right? \”He could respond: \”Don\’t you also pull it off? It\’s not just me. \”We don\’t have to \”cover up\”, but teach them how to \”cope\”. Shame is not an enemy, it is just a sensitive period for children to the social world. Slowly, when the child knows that \”there is not that scary to others say something\”, he will put down this psychological burden and start to \”release\” with confidence. Three: The rhythm is messy, and the body is not ready at all. You may find that the poop at home is very regular, and it will be successful after breakfast; but when the rhythm of the kindergarten changes, the child is like cutting off the defecation button. At this time, many people think it is a psychological problem, but in fact it is – the child\’s body is not ready. The defecation of the human body requires a sense of rhythm. The time of eating, the time of getting up, and the activity state will affect the defecation reflex. But after the child goes to kindergarten, he wakes up early in the morning, rushes out, eats hastily, and is nervous… This series of operations is equivalent to skipping the \”body preparation time\”. You ask him: \”Why don\’t you poop? \”He couldn\’t answer either. Because it wasn\’t that he didn\’t want to, it was because he didn\’t feel \”pulled\”. In addition, the kindergarten has a prescribed time, the teacher needs to organize activities, and the toilet is not necessarily around, and the child is easily interrupted if he has a defecation. In this case, he will naturally miss the best defecation window. When the body has a signal, the time has passed, and the child will become a habit. To solve this problem, we must first help the child recover the rhythm of the body. ✔ First, don\’t rush to go out. Try to get up ten minutes early and leave five minutes of toilet time for the child after dinner. We can sit with him for a while, even if he is just there to \”listen to whether there is any movement in his stomach\”, which is also a training for body rhythm. ✔ Secondly, don\’t treat \”pooping\” as a task or competition. Don\’t say \”Hurry up, you\’ll be late\”, we can say: \”The toilet time is up, do you want to try it? \”Slowly, the child\’s body will re-establish the defecation channel \”after breakfast and before activity\”. Once he feels the rhythm himself, he will naturally \”pull if he wants\” in the new environment. It is actually not a problem for the child to do not poop in kindergarten.It\’s them who are practicing \”how I\’m outside\” . The fact that pooping is the best reflects the child\’s sense of independence, autonomy and security. We often say that we should respect the pace of children\’s growth, and the toilet is actually the best observation window. When did he want to pull him in kindergarten mean that he began to trust this place; the ability to relax himself in front of his classmates means that he has boundaries and courage. Mom doesn’t have to worry or urge, let alone feel frustrated because of the “pooping problem”. Because the \”can\’t pull it out\” in your eyes is \”I\’m slowly adapting to it\”. Let’s give him some time, a small sticker with a strong sense of identity, and a sentence “just decide for yourself”, maybe it can open the “door to poop”. Growing up sometimes hides in a safe squat.