A shocking video has gone viral on the Internet. In the video, an old man and his son are walking on the road in Xiaoxi New Village, Ninghua. The son suddenly became furious, picked up a stick and hit his father on the head. The old man fell to the ground on the spot. But the son did not stop, and his attacks became more and more fierce. When the stick was broken, he replaced the bottle and spatula… In the video, a loud \”bang bang\” sound can be heard, which is frightening. Later, because passers-by blocked him, he dropped the murder weapon, yelled at the old man in a pool of blood, and left reluctantly. After the incident, the unconscious old man was sent to the hospital. His left hand and left cheekbone were fractured, and his head was scarred. He needed many stitches before he was out of danger. After the old man regained consciousness, he told the media: When his son was young, he and his wife worked hard to make money for their children. They only care about allowing their children to enjoy good material conditions, but forget to nourish them spiritually and teach them to love their parents. Gradually, he became ungrateful, willful and overbearing. He only knew how to ask for things, but he didn\’t know how to be considerate. Therefore, when his son grew up, if the old man said or did something that did not suit his liking, he would instantly turn against him and beat and kick him. Sometimes it was because his father would not let him spend money randomly, sometimes because he felt that the money his father gave him was too little… Educator Lu Qin said: \”If you cultivate your child\’s love, it will grow; if you ignore it, it will wither.\” When a child is young, if he neglects to cultivate him or is too pampered, he only thinks about enriching his life. body, and forget to nourish his love, then when the child grows up, he may really be unscrupulous towards others and live lawlessly. This kind of story is not unique. The Yao Jiaxin case and Li Tianyi case, which once caused a sensation, are no exception. Their parents devoted all their efforts to their children to make them materially wealthy and comfortable, but they neglected to nourish their children\’s souls and cultivate their ability to love others. As a result, they were very poor in love, which led to the neglect of their children when they became adults. Rules, indifference to others, selfishness and going your own way, until you do something wrong, it is hard to recover, which is regrettable. The \”Three Character Classic\” says: \”When people are born, their natures are good, their natures are similar, and their habits are far apart.\” Every child is born with a kind heart, but due to the influence of their growth environment, their natures will be very different. Therefore, the ancients said, \”If you don\’t teach, your nature will change. The way to teach is to be specialized.\” If you don\’t discipline your children, their natural kindness and love will change, and the best way to educate them is to focus on them. Give them real enrichment: cultivate their ability to love and let them learn to give love so that they can be considerate and kind to others. As Lincoln said: \”A good education is to cultivate early love and habits.\” My neighbor Ali loves her daughter very much. At home, she takes care of her daughter\’s daily life, food, and daily chores. Although the child is 9 years old, she still helps him dress, wash and comb his pigtails every day. During meals, she would also serve her daughter with bowls and dishes, feed her with soup and rice, and finally gently help her daughter dry the oily corners of her mouth. After dinner, she would wash and peel the sweet apples and crisp cantaloupe, cut them into small pieces, insert toothpicks, and bring them to her daughter\’s room. Under such pampering, my daughter became idle and did nothing to do anything. Sometimes, Ali also wants her daughter toShe does small things, such as sweeping the floor and washing dishes, but every time her daughter pouts, stamps her feet, and complains loudly: You should do the work, why should you let me do it? After hearing this, Ali just laughed it off as a child\’s talk. It wasn\’t until something happened that she changed her mind. One day she had a fever and a splitting headache. As soon as she got home, she collapsed on the bed, feeling dizzy and dizzy. After a while, her daughter came back, and Ali thought: If my daughter sees that I am not feeling well, she might take the initiative to cook and give me a bowl of hot noodle soup. No, even if you just pour me a glass of water, I will be satisfied… However, my daughter walked to the bed and looked at her pale face. She didn\’t even say a word of comfort. Instead, she screamed: It\’s so late, what are you doing? Not cooking yet! Want to starve me to death? At that moment, Ali felt a biting coldness in her heart. As the saying goes, bad words hurt people, and it is even more heartbreaking when someone close to you speaks the most distant words. Ali said that from that time on, she felt that she could no longer spoil her child, and she must learn to reciprocate, love others, and give warmth. Bi Shumin once said: If a child is immersed in boundless love until his mouth and eyes turn white, it will deprive him of the ability to perceive love and create a loving imbecile. If parents love their children, they must let them start loving you and the people around them as soon as they can. Yes, the ability to love parents and others is very important, and parents must teach their children this. In the past, Ali thought that raising a child richly meant taking good care of her and providing her with good food and clothing. Now she understands that true enrichment means giving her the ability to love, learning to give love, and understanding that blessings come to those who go, and blessings come to those who love out. Otherwise, no matter how much care you give your children, you can only make them carefree materially and live a colorful life, but they will be selfish, poor, and empty in their hearts, like a desert. Such children are not in the minority. The Tianjin Children\’s Health Center conducted a survey on 8,786 children in more than 30 key kindergartens. The results found that the detection rate of children\’s behavioral problems was very high, with 38% of children showing willfulness, self-centeredness, and lack of caring, consideration and sharing. . These children are financially well-off and attend the best kindergartens. However, they have never been truly well-off. Their parents have never taught them the ability to love and how to give love. Their indifferent attitude towards their parents is heartbreaking. Some children who have never been truly rich will be cold and indifferent in their words, and some will be violent and extreme in their behavior. If we want to truly enrich our children, we might as well do this in life: 1. Guide our children to learn empathy and care for others. Empathy refers to our ability to put ourselves in their shoes, think from their perspective, and feel the emotions of others. People who are good at empathy will be filled with tenderness and care when they see others in need of help, and will provide as much support as they can. Psychology tells us that children are born with the ability to recognize other people\’s emotions and take into account other people\’s emotions. Babies less than one year old will cry with a child when they hear them cry; if they are older, they will want to comfort others when they see others crying. Children have the instinct to help others, so parents need to provide timely guidance and take the initiative to set an example. We can teach our children to take care of their elders, give up their seats to others, accompany us to donate money, donate blood, and do other thingsVolunteering and visiting patients can help them slowly learn to empathize, get rid of self-centeredness, and behave altruistically. Children who can empathize will not only make their parents feel super warm, but they will also be liked and accepted in interpersonal interactions, making them less likely to have difficulties in social adaptation. 2. Use the “Monkey Management Rule” In the management world, there is a famous “Monkey Management Rule”. It is said that many subordinates evade responsibility and leave things that should be completed by themselves to their superiors to make decisions and take responsibility. If you compare responsibility to a monkey, then it is like the monkeys on the shoulders of subordinates jumping on the boss. In this way, the subordinates are happy and leisurely and have no intention of making progress, while the boss is carrying many monkeys, exhausted and hard to come back. Therefore, this law recommends teaching subordinates to do their own things, so that subordinates will have the courage to take responsibility, solve problems independently, and become more mature. Moreover, when subordinates understand the hardship of doing things, they will not take away the care and dedication of their bosses. Take it for granted. In a family, parents are like bosses and children are like subordinates being managed. Parents should let their children take care of themselves from an early age, and never let their children take care of themselves. As the saying goes, if you are not in your position, you will not plan your affairs, and you will not know the difficulties until you have experienced them. If a child doesn\’t know how troublesome it is for parents to deal with trivial matters every day, he won\’t be grateful; if the child doesn\’t know how to be independent, it will be difficult for him to mature his personality and feed back to his parents. American parenting expert Jane Nelson once listed what children of different ages can do on their own. For example: a 3-year-old child can wash hands, take off shoes, pack away toys, and put dirty clothes in the laundry basket; a 4-year-old child can put on clothes, straighten the sheets, place books and periodicals, and arrange the dining table; a 5-year-old child can comb and wash his hair. , collecting and folding clothes, cutting bread and spreading jam, polishing shoes and glass, and going to the store to buy things. Try it, let your children do things and let them go, just like a leader delegating power to his subordinates. You will become relaxed, and your child will become considerate and capable. 3. Have expectations and recognize the good character of the child. There is a \”Pygmalion effect\” in psychology, which comes from a legend. The ancient king Pygmalion loved sculpture. Once, he carved a beautiful statue. So he thought: It would be great if he had a wife like this. He longed for it day and night, and one day, his expectation came true: the statue came to life, turned into a stunning beauty, and became his wife. Later generations used this effect to illustrate that one person\’s expectations or predictions can make many things change in line with your expectations. Yes, even cold stone statues can be turned into warm flesh and blood. The human heart is made of flesh. It is not difficult to make it warmer. As long as you have expectations for your child and encourage him, his heart will become more kind and soft, forming a closer emotional link with you and increasing positive interactions. The historian Migne once said: \”What kind of person a person is expected to be will soon become that kind of person.\” You have to believe that your children will become caring little cotton-padded jackets, and encourage your children to do small things for you, such as , pick up a courier, take out the trash, or pick up milk. When he or she has finished, praise him or her in time, praise the child\’s good character, such as kindness, filial piety, etc., and give him or her positive reinforcement and feedback.If you give them feedback, they will be willing to continue doing this. Over time, habits become natural. The reason why you should praise good character rather than praise good behavior is because researcher Joan Grusek once conducted a survey. She found that if you praise your child\’s moral character, the child will internalize the good character into himself. Part of the identity, truly becoming that person. They will believe that their actions are a reflection of good character, thus make more ethical and warm choices, and have a stronger motivation to be kind to others. If you expect your child to be kind and filial, and provide him with positive reinforcement and recognition in a timely manner, then he will be able to build a positive self-image in his heart, be caring and considerate to you, and make you proud. And he himself will also be happy because of his efforts and become a person with a fulfilling and happy heart. The philosopher Locke once said: \”The only reliable and safe way is to base your children\’s happiness on virtue and good education.\” Yes, true wealth is to give children a good education and let them Be willing to give, know how to care, have a healthy personality and a full soul, so that you and your partner can live happily in the future.
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