Eileen Chang once said: \”Small sorrows and difficulties can develop a serious outlook on life.\” I deeply agree. Just like what a mother said to her son who has not yet grown up on the Internet, it has awakened countless parents. \”Child, I hope you are not living a very good life. You will suffer some hardships and suffer some hardships in your life. These small hardships and dangers will be precious treasures in your life…\” You must understand that you are reluctant to let your children suffer small hardships. You are doomed to suffer great hardships on the road of life. A few days ago, a clean and beautiful intern girl came to the unit. After working for less than a week, she submitted her resignation report. The reason was: everyone in the company was ostracizing her. Since I\’m not in the same department as her, I don\’t know the specifics. However, the girl made a good first impression on me, so I found out why. Only after asking this question did I find out that the girl had changed five jobs in less than a year after graduating. In fact, it\’s not that everyone excludes her or has objections to her, it\’s that girls can\’t bear the hardships and punishments. When they enter the workplace, they still want to pamper themselves like a little princess. When others asked her to do something, she felt that they were targeting her, ostracizing her, and deliberately making things difficult for her. Ask her to get a glass of water, take out the garbage, pick up a courier, or even speak a little harshly to her, and she feels that she has been greatly wronged. In her original words: \”I have never suffered such grievances at home.\” In fact, this phenomenon is not uncommon. Too many young people who have just entered the workplace are still living in their own dreams, unable to bear the pain and suffering. The root cause is the indulgence and pampering of parents during childhood. Parents think that they are giving their children the best by pampering them everywhere and not letting them suffer. In fact, they are doing harm to their children. It is said in the Ksitigarbha Sutra that neither father, son nor close relatives can suffer on our behalf. Everyone comes into this world with their own blessings and sufferings. Some suffering must be endured by oneself. If you don\’t suffer now, you will suffer more in the future. One of my children has been taught by his parents to live a \”hard\” life since he was a child. Every year during the winter and summer vacations, his parents would send him to live with relatives in the countryside for a period of time. The first is to enhance the relationship, and the second is to let Fa Xiao learn to endure some hardships. In the countryside, it is no longer just a simple matter of reaching out for clothes and opening your mouth for food. You have to wash your clothes when they are dirty and wash your dishes after using them. Even going to the toilet at night has to be done by being exposed to the cold. This kind of exchange life is like what is told in \”The Metamorphosis\”, where children from rural areas go to the city, and children from the city come to the countryside. The small difficulties encountered throughout the process will help children understand the meaning of \”life is really hard\”. In the same way, it will also make children understand that their happiness is hard-won, and it is a kind of gratitude to their bitter parents and their small achievements. Experiencing small hardships since childhood is the luckiest blessing in life, and good parents will become the helmsman of your life\’s blessings. You are too afraid of your child suffering, because you are a generation that has experienced hardship; you are too afraid of your child being wronged, because he is still too young and cannot bear any suffering; you are too afraid of your child suffering, thinking that everything in the world can easily defeat your child. Therefore, you hold it in your mouth for fear of melting, and hold it in your hands for fear of falling off. Your fear is inevitably too early and too unnecessary. The child must suffer appropriate hardships. In the program \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, every time we see aThe crew will always arrange some houses with particularly poor conditions for the children and their father to live in turns. The children refused at first, but found that there was no way to change it, and despite the hard work, they quickly accepted and adapted. In fact, children have very strong adaptability and receptive abilities. Their squeamishness is not something they are born with, but comes from their parents\’ pampering. Parents\’ doting inevitably comes with prejudice against their children\’s abilities, thinking that they are not good enough and that at their age they should not have to endure such hardships and grievances. Age is always used as a factor, and if children are not allowed to suffer a little first, is it possible that they will have to endure huge suffering when they grow up? True love is based on suffering. If you blindly let your children covet the fun, they will inevitably not be able to withstand the wind and rain when they grow up. A good life is like a cup of coffee that your parents make for you. It is sweet at first, then bitter, and the most bitter. And first there is bitterness, then sweetness, and the sweetest. Scientists once evaluated our \”Q\” as being divided into two types: emotional quotient and IQ, but now, there is an additional quotient – reverse quotient. What is adversity quotient? Adverse quotient is our ability to cope with adversity. In \”The Round Table\”, there was an issue where we talked about reverse business. Zhou Yijun and Li Xiaomu both mentioned playing chess with their children. The two seem to be playing with their children, but in fact they are training their children to learn to accept suffering and failure, and learn to take responsibility in difficult situations. Dou Wentao mentioned \”ostrich psychology\” in the program. What is \”ostrich psychology\” means that when an ostrich is afraid, it will bury its head in the soil and pretend not to see it. This is exactly the problem that many children have – they are unwilling to overcome difficulties, unwilling to take on the responsibility, and will only choose to avoid it. The reason for this phenomenon is that parents\’ education cannot escape the blame. If they indulge and favor their children blindly and do not let their children suffer a little hardship or experience a little failure, the children will not know how to take responsibility. In education, most of the time, failure in adversity is far more important than success in good times. Just like the Yao Jiaxin incident, parents did not provide \”hardship education\” to their children. Like the vast majority of parents, they only focused on studying and hoping that their children would succeed. Ignoring the necessary conditions for a child\’s long-term development – accepting failure and learning to endure hardship. In the end, when Yao Jiaxin encountered adversity, his personality even collapsed, leading to a catastrophe. If EQ determines which path you can take, then reverse quotient determines how far you can go on this path. Liang Qichao said: \”In life, you must know the pain of being responsible before you can know the joy of fulfilling responsibility.\” The so-called remembering the bitter and thinking of the sweet, first bitter and then sweet, is the truth. Only if you are ruthless enough to allow your children to suffer a little physical and mental hardship will they thrive. Failure is not terrible for a moment, but what is terrible is failure for a lifetime, and there is no chance to fail again. \”Be famous early\”, this is a sentence written by Zhang Ailing. Putting it in the midst of suffering is also applicable to educating children, that is, \”Eat hardship as early as possible.\” If you don’t let your children endure hardship when they are young, don’t curse them for being hopeless when they grow up. A foreign friend of mine, Anna, has lived in China for many years. Her way of educating children is worth learning from. For the big difficulties that children encounter, we help them and they participate in the work. For small difficulties, we let the children do it by themselves, and we watch and encourage them. for example, the same toddler fell, most Chinese parents shouted \”kid, darling, darling,\” took the child in their arms, and never let the child run or jump. It seems that after this fall, everything in the world will hurt my little baby with malicious intentions, except myself. But who knew that such doting would harm the child. But Anna won\’t. She will continue to encourage her children to run, jump, and wrestle. Within a certain safety range, she will let her children explore suffering on their own. Most of our parents know that it is necessary for their children to have a balanced diet. Daily eggs, lean meat, nasty carrots, and milk are all necessary. However, they forget to \”force\” their children to suffer a little mentally and physically to achieve true \”nutritional balance.\” Some things are burdens and sufferings at the beginning, but they will be the beginning of good things later. Just like the rainbow in the sky and the clouds in the clouds after a heavy rain. Tagore said: \”One day, your burdens will turn into gifts, and your suffering will light your way.\” Life is really hard, so be ruthless and let your children suffer a little bit. This is the most kind love in our lives.
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