7 ways to make your children like you more and more [very practical]

There is a friend next to me. She and her husband are both doctoral students and hold important positions in public institutions. They win many awards every year. Friends joke that people like them should have more children to \”import\” talents to the country. But when it came to their children, they both frowned in unison. It is said that their son is four years old this year. He has been mainly taken care of by his grandmother since he was a child. When he saw them, the most common thing he said was, \”Are you bothered?\” Because they are both annoying. Kouzi is usually busy with work. Whenever he has time to spend with his children, he wants them to learn more. For example, the father is responsible for mathematics and Go, and the mother is responsible for English. They often read extracurricular books (literature) with their children. Based on the content of the day\’s study, the two people also gave the children \”test papers\” to test, and they will check again in two days. Once, my grandfather caught a sparrow for his grandson. My friend was worried that the sparrow had bacteria on it, so he released the sparrow while the child was in kindergarten. When it comes to toys, my friends are also very strict about it and don’t buy plastic ones or those with noises. In this way, these two people are senior executives in the company and their careers are prosperous. But why bother children so much? I believe everyone has noticed it a long time ago, because these parents are so \”reliable\”. Someone asked on Zhihu, what kind of parents are the most successful parents? Some people say that children are trained to become talents. Some people say that children should be filial to themselves. However, the final answer given by the author is that the most successful parents are those who make themselves the parents that their children like. Children are the smartest spirits. Wanting to be their favorite person is not an easy task and requires parents to \”do what they like.\” 1. Hand in hand, play games together. 0-3 years old is a critical period for children to establish a sense of security. The company of parents directly affects the establishment of a child\’s sense of security. 3-6 years old is a critical period for the formation of a child\’s personality. Children who are accompanied by their parents more often have a secure attachment personality. Playing with your children is the best gift parents can give their children. In the community, there is a mother with a child, and the family is not very well off. However, she still declined the old man to take care of the baby, and insisted on taking care of the baby by herself until the child was three years old. Because family conditions are limited, children don\’t have many toys, but mothers can often be seen with their children holding small bottles to catch tadpoles; or catching grasshoppers in the grass. Occasionally, she would take her son to play football together. She was exhausted and out of breath, but the child smiled very happily. When many working parents face children with separation anxiety, the most common thing they say is \”Mom and dad make money to buy you toys.\” In fact, for children, no toys are as good as having their parents play with them. Ji Xianlin mentioned his mother in his later years and once said: \”I still think about it when I am old. No matter what fame, fortune or status in the world, nothing can compare to staying by my mother\’s side.\” 2. Squatting. Lower body, let the love spread down Zhang Ziyi\’s popularity has soared since she became a mother, and she has been praised by fans, saying that she is a super good mother. Zhang Ziyi picked up pebbles with Xingxing, not bending over, but lying on the ground. When talking to Xingxing, she also squatted down and kept eye contact with the child. While walking on the road, some adults blamed the children for not wanting to hold hands and walking on their own because it was too dangerous. However, when you adjust the height andLike a child, I raise my arm to hold the hand of someone much taller than myself, only to find that such a \”hand holding\” makes me particularly uncomfortable. Only by looking at the problem from the child\’s perspective and respecting the child\’s choice can you become a parent your child likes. 3. Parents who communicate gently and gently are a rare gift to their children. Because he is gentle, he can talk and communicate well with his children. There is a kind of violence called verbal violence. For children, verbal violence is as harmful as physical violence. In psychology, there is something called the south wind effect: the north wind or the south wind compete to see who can take off the coats of pedestrians. A biting cold wind came from the north, and people wrapped their coats tighter to resist the cold. The south wind blew slowly, and suddenly the wind became warm and sunny. Pedestrians felt warm and took off their shirts. The south wind was victorious. Gentle parents are like the south wind, making children feel warm and willing to accept their guidance and education. Moreover, children educated by gentle parents are better, stronger and more powerful. 4. Answer all the children’s questions. The child is a curious little motor. They always have some inexplicable questions. For example, why is the sky blue and why does the water flow? Is the TV a monster? Why are there cartoons on it? Curiosity is the best stepping stone for children to understand the world, but if they don\’t get the answer, they will be very disappointed. This is why parents need not to be annoyed by their children, but be more patient and give them answers. Sometimes, there is no reasonable explanation for some of the children\’s problems. For example, one day my son asked me, why do people only have one mouth? In his little mind, he thought that with many mouths, he could eat a lot of delicious food. One mouth for candy and the other mouth for drinks. How beautiful. Even if the question is weird, I won\’t refuse to answer it. I told it seriously, because everything you eat must be stored in the stomach. The stomach can only hold so much. If you eat too much, it will burst. Sometimes, when the girl is around, she will think that her brother\’s questions are too \”childish\” and say that they are not a problem at all. I smiled and said, you asked me when you were a child why people have bones in their bodies. 5. Love life The movie \”Life is Beautiful\” tells the story of a Jewish man and his son who were imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp. His wife also went to the concentration camp for them. In the concentration camp, the man was forced to do hard labor, but he told his son that they were playing a game. If they followed the rules of the game, they could get high scores. When they reached a certain score, they would get on the tank. He used this passion to protect his son\’s childlike innocence. He found an opportunity to get close to the loudspeaker and express his love for his wife in his own unique way. Even though the situation was so difficult, he worked hard to infect his wife and son with his enthusiasm. In the end, under the protection of his father, the child had no idea that this was a cruel war. The moment he saw the tank, he cheered happily: \”I got the reward, I won.\” The psychologist said: Parents The worst impact on children is to make them feel that their parents are not living a good life. Parents who love life will make their lives poetic and ritualistic. There is a literary friend in the circle of friends who uses Dongting every morningThe nursery rhyme wakes the child up. When the child opens his eyes, she will give the child a hug and say: \”Good morning, today is another beautiful day, be happy.\” When sending the child to kindergarten, she will also give her a hug. , telling the children to work hard to \”annihilate\” all the lunches and \”make fun\” of the games. Even if raising a baby is boring, you should use great enthusiasm to make your life blossom. 6. Be your child’s most loyal “fan”. Children are also eager to achieve. Praise and praise from parents will satisfy their feelings and create a harmonious family atmosphere. Praise is like sunshine to children. With it, children will grow and bloom. Jin Bao in \”Cute and Adorable Home\” has been recorded in several episodes. She only cares about her mother, ignores her father Yuan, and does not play with other children. In one episode of the show, Tan Weiwei and her husband Chen Yifei were guests, but Jinbao had a \”soft spot\” for Chen Yifei. Because Chen Yifei would always praise her as \”so good\” and \”so cute\”, Jinbao was willing to \”make tea\” for Chen Yifei to drink. , and toasted to him. There is a term in psychology called the \”sandwich effect\”, which is to add criticism between two praises, which will make it easier for children to accept it. Parents can try this method to ensure that their children like it without any negotiation. 7. Don’t be a “helicopter parent”. A survey asked a hundred children to tell what kind of parents they disliked the most. The result was that 73% of the children said they didn’t like their parents being too controlling. Helicopter parenting is a new term that is currently popular internationally. Some parents who \”hope for their children to succeed\” and \”hope for their daughters to succeed\” are called \”helicopter parents\” – hovering over their children like helicopters, monitoring their children\’s every move at all times. A friend of mine did not let his child choose his own toys. He was worried that the child would fall, so he forcibly held his hand. He was afraid that the child would be infected with some disease from the sparrow, so he let the child\’s sparrow go without permission… A childhood that is not let go is destined to be sad. The first condition for children to explore the world is to be let go. As long as we don\’t violate the rules and don\’t violate the bottom line, we can give \”freedom\” back to our children. The little girl Mary in \”The Secret Garden\”, after she was fostered at her uncle\’s house, she kept Colin, who had been ordered to \”protect\” by her uncle, thinking that her uncle had lost his wife and he did not want to lose his son again, so he ordered him to stay in the room. Stay, everyone entering the room must wear a mask to avoid spreading germs. Colin was unable to walk due to long-term bed rest in a room without sunlight. Mary \”rescued\” him and took him to the mysterious garden, letting him feel the sunshine, flowers, rain, dew, and birds. She also encouraged him to try to stand up and walk step by step. The free Colin not only did not die from the \”infectious disease\”, but he could also walk and run independently. Seeing what his son was doing, Colin\’s father returned his freedom to him, and the lost family affection returned. The best love in the world is to give your children the love they need most. \”Appropriate\” payment means the least investment and the most return. Keep these seven methods in mind, so that you can be a \”lightly-packed\” parent and fight a beautiful education battle with your children.