6 signs of low emotional intelligence in children, with coping strategies

Goleman, a Ph.D. in psychology from Harvard University, once said: \”IQ only accounts for 20% of a person\’s success, but EQ accounts for as much as 80%.\” People with high EQ and IQ are more likely to achieve success. It is easier to succeed if you are recognized by those around you, and the same is true for children. How to Improve Emotional Intelligence Magic Training Camp pdf Child psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein once made some summaries of children\’s low emotional intelligence. Among them, the following 6 manifestations are more prominent. If you find that your child has multiple of the following manifestations, it is time to reflect! 01. They are afraid of strangers outside, but stay in the nest. Some children are very timid outside and even dare not go to the supermarket to buy things alone. However, they are \”emperors\” at home. They are not afraid of anyone at home and often get angry and playful with their parents. ruthless! This is a typical \”haunting\”. If you are bullied or wronged by other classmates and you dare not resist, you will vent your anger on your parents who love you very much, or you may turn around and bully your younger siblings who are weaker than you, venting your bad emotions on unrelated people. . 02. Only pay attention to your own feelings. Most of today\’s children are only children. They are loved and cared for at home, and they gradually develop the habit of only caring about themselves and their own feelings. When playing with others, you can play whatever you want, and others must give way; you must eat what you want, regardless of whether others like it too. Everything is self-centered and everyone has to accommodate themselves. Being selfish, not understanding the feelings of others, and even hurting others for your own sake are all manifestations of a child\’s low emotional intelligence. For the sake of temporary convenience and not knowing how to consider others, they will lose the favor of their friends and others. 03. Like to listen to good words and pay too much attention to other people\’s evaluations. Some parents report that their children are \”submissive donkeys\” who eat soft things but not hard things. If you follow him and say nice things, he will listen; but if you criticize him, he won\’t be able to bear it, even if it\’s even slightly unpleasant. When they face a choice, it is difficult for them to make correct and objective judgments. It is easy for them to listen to the party who \”says good things\”, and it is difficult for them to consider problems from their own standpoint. When others point out mistakes, they seem to I am very angry, but in fact I doubt myself and value the evaluation of others. Parents will follow the principle that more things are worse than less things and educate their children. The result is that it becomes more and more difficult for children to make rational judgments about mistakes and understand themselves! 04. It is most common for children to lose their temper when they disagree. Many parents think that their children are still young and ignorant. In fact, this is also a sign of low emotional intelligence. Dabao was like this when he was a child. I was afraid every time I went to the supermarket. Because he can\’t walk when he sees a toy, and if you don\’t buy it for him, he will lie on the floor crying and fussing. When he is at home, he often rolls around and cries when he is not satisfied or is not satisfied, and no matter how much he is coaxed, it won\’t work! Children who lose their temper when they disagree and have difficulty controlling their emotions are simply unreasonable and unreasonable. Such children are the most unpopular because they are often rule breakers. 05. Like to refute others and poke holes in others. Children, like adults, like to be \”supported\” by others and enjoy the attention of others. However, not everyChildren can use the right method. There is a child in our community who is annoying to others. When playing with friends, he would always refute others. He would say another when others said one thing, in order to show his personality; he would even laugh at other people\’s shortcomings. If a child stuttered, he would imitate others and call him \”big stammerer.\” \”, no one wants to play with him. This is a sign of arrogance and disrespect for others. In order to show that you don\’t care about other people\’s feelings, in the long run, you will not be able to make friends and others will be isolated. 06. Willful and unwilling to listen to other people’s suggestions. My cousin’s son often plays with Dabao. What the two of them like most is building blocks and competing to see who can build the higher one. But basically Dabao wins every time. Once I kindly reminded the little guy that the building blocks below need to be placed a little more in order to build them up stably. But he couldn\’t listen at all, ignored me, and insisted on following his own method. As you can imagine, the result was that he fell off without getting very high. It is said that children are like this in school. The teacher points out his mistakes and does not take it seriously. He does not listen to any suggestions from others. Such children will sooner or later pay for their own stubbornness! What should parents do about children with low emotional intelligence? Daniel Goleman, the \”father of emotional intelligence\”, believes that a child\’s emotional intelligence is actually the ability to control and process emotions. The earlier parents consciously cultivate children, the stronger their children\’s ability to manage emotions and the higher their emotional intelligence will be. The five steps of emotional counseling are the methods proposed by Daniel for cultivating children\’s emotional intelligence. Parents can try to learn it and give it a try! 1. Pay attention to children\’s emotions. Children usually show it when they encounter things. Parents should communicate with their children frequently and pay attention to their emotions. 2. Encourage children to express their emotions. Whether it is sadness, anger or happiness, it is a normal emotion. Parents should allow their children to vent, and often encourage them to express their feelings. 3. Listen to their children’s emotions with empathy. Many times, children do not dare to express their feelings because they are afraid of their parents’ criticism; while parents’ criticism is because of their disrespect for their children. The emotions are not felt and viewed with empathy. In fact, the little things we think may be very important to the child. Parents should stand from the child\’s perspective and feel his emotions. 4. Help the child understand emotions. The child loses his temper when he disagrees with his words. Sometimes he is sad but dare not cry. It\’s all because they don\’t understand what emotions are. What parents have to do is to teach their children to understand emotions correctly, without fear or hiding. 5. Help children deal with bad things with a correct attitude. Emotions are not just about happiness. Of course, things will also have bad times. But in the face of bad things, we can still face it optimistically. This is the most important point for parents to educate their children. Some people say that IQ determines the lower limit of a child, and EQ determines the upper limit, so parents must pay attention! In order to better help children improve their emotional intelligence, Doudehui has found a set of parent-child emotional intelligence audio courses to share with everyone! 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