A lazy mother is better than a good mother

Last week, several mothers formed a group to go on a family trip to the suburbs. Biscuit, the eldest son of my colleague Sister Su, is sunny, confident, and very warm-hearted. Along the way, carrying large and small bags of luggage, I never said I was tired. As soon as we arrived at our destination, we started serving tea and water to my mother. \”Mom, are you hot? I brought a small fan.\” \”Mom, are you thirsty? I\’ll get you some water…\” When other mothers saw such a hard-working and capable child, they all came to ask Sister Su for advice. Sister Su said that since she gave birth to her second child, her heart has become bigger, her mouth has closed, and she has become much lazier. However, she did not expect that her child has become more sensible and conscious than before. \”Maybe I\’m lazy, so he needs to be more proactive.\” Sure enough, as long as the mother is lazy enough, the children will come to repay the favor. I recall that Inamori Kazuo used his own experience to tell us in the book \”Mother\’s Teachings Changed My Life\”: \”How happy a child\’s childhood is with a \’lazy mother\’. Only when parents are lazy can children be diligent and better.\” Develop yourself and find your own way.\” If mothers learn to be lazy, only then can their children have the space to be diligent, independent, and self-motivated. Recommended scientific parenting books. I really hope my parents have read the electronic version of this book and download it. Mothers should be lazy and not focus on shortcomings, so that children can grow. A psychological counselor once shared a case about \”rubber syndrome\”. The mother said that her daughter was very slow in doing homework and always liked to erase it with an eraser. If the handwriting is even slightly uneven or unclean, it will be immediately erased and rewritten. Later, it even got to the point where I scratched out all the notebooks and refused to give up, as if I had obsessive-compulsive disorder. After some inquiries, I found out that the cause of the child\’s illness was that every time he was doing homework, his mother would supervise him, causing the child to be overly anxious and nervous. Later, with the advice of a psychological counselor, the mother stopped watching. Instead, she said to her daughter, \”Do your best and come back to me if you encounter difficulties.\” At first, her daughter still wiped her hair and wiped it. From time to time, she peeked back to make sure her mother was still watching her from behind. A few months passed like this, and my daughter slowly got better. In fact, many of children\’s problems are caused by parents. If there is anything wrong, interrupt immediately, and if there is a mistake, you will rush to correct it. You are afraid that the child will take a detour, but in the end the result is often counterproductive. Good mothers know how to turn a blind eye. Promote education with a good attitude, and cultivate children with promotion and encouragement. There was a 3-year-old boy who wanted to prepare a big meal for his mother. From visiting the supermarket, choosing ingredients, to taking things home, researching dishes, and setting the table, the whole process is amazingly skillful. The most admirable thing is that when pouring the juice, the little boy fell twice in a row and spilled the juice twice. However, he did not cry or make a fuss. Instead, he brought a rag, cleaned it up, and did not forget to put the remaining juice in the cup. Drink the juice. Many netizens praised the little boy\’s independence and mentality, but I admired the mother behind the scenes who dared to let go. Don\’t be afraid of your children making mistakes, don\’t focus on their children\’s shortcomings, but choose to use trust and give your children the opportunity to solve problems on their own. Dr. Montessori once said that the biggest misunderstanding parents have about their children’s love is to become children.Servant of the child, help the child do it. Life will always take some detours. If you don\’t take small detours as a child, you will take big detours when you grow up. Children are still young, so the cost of trial and error is low and they can afford mistakes. Mom is too lazy to stare, too lazy to be serious, but what lies behind is actually trust and wisdom. Only by believing that a child can handle it on his own can he grow up despite groping and falling over and over again. The mother\’s \”mouth\” must be lazy and not preachy, so that the children can have their own opinions. In the first few years of getting along with my child, I really liked to talk to my child about some truths and wanted her to follow my ideas. If she doesn\’t sleep at night, I will follow her and push her hard; I am always picky about food, and I can explain a lot of reasons; I like red when buying clothes, so I persuade her to choose pink… I thought this was correcting the child. I have a bad habit, but later I discovered that my child would ask me for permission when going to the toilet, \”Mom, I need to poop.\” If she had any thoughts, as soon as she saw that I was not in a good mood, she would immediately change her mind and admit her mistake, \”I\’m sorry, I was wrong. Don\’t Angry\”; when getting along with friends, she always shows some restrained body language. The little details about her inferiority complex and timidity made me feel very uncomfortable. I hope she is a child who has her own self and an expanded personality. I realized that I needed to change, and I began to learn to be \”too lazy to talk.\” If you don\’t like eating celery, then don\’t eat it; if you want to buy red clothes, then respect her; if you don\’t want to greet people, then forget it and don\’t force it… When I stop nagging and trying to force her to obey by getting angry Instead, I let her make her own decision, and she began to change. I laugh more often, I feel more confident when interacting with others, and I dare to stick to my own opinions in everything. Some people say that it takes us two years to learn to speak, but it takes us a lifetime to learn to shut up. If you are too lazy to urge, you can cultivate your children\’s autonomy; if you are too lazy to nag, you can let your children have their own opinions; if you are too lazy to criticize, you can help your children build self-confidence. Every life has a desire to improve, and every child needs to be his own master. Just like the host Jing Yidan, the thing she says most to her daughter is \”You decide for yourself.\” When she was a child, her daughter loved beauty, so she let her choose what clothes to wear. When she grows up, her daughter makes her own decisions about going to school, going abroad, and getting married. Mothers should be more lazy, preach less, criticize less, and suppress less, so that their children can learn to think independently and have the ability to make decisions on their own. The mother\’s \”hands\” must be lazy and not take care of everything, so that the children can be independent. In life, many parents give their children not too little love, but too much love. I have an aunt who went through a lot of hardships trying to get pregnant. When I was in my thirties, I finally got pregnant. At that time, the pregnancy reaction was very severe, the morning sickness was so uncomfortable that I couldn\’t eat anything, and my hands and feet were severely swollen. Finally, after going through all kinds of hardships, I gave birth to a daughter, who naturally grew up holding it in my hands. Now, my daughter is in fifth grade, and her family members say she is a “mom’s girl.” Before going to school every day, her mother must find and put on clothes, pack her textbooks, and organize her schoolbags… Others have advised her not to be so big.She takes care of everything, but my aunt always says that it’s okay if she is tired, as long as the child is happy. Until last time, my aunt had a high fever and forced herself to cook dinner for her daughter at night. Her daughter only ate it by herself, then said \”I can\’t wash the dishes\” and went back to the room. Later, the aunt reminded her daughter to remember to wash and brush her teeth, but her daughter was not happy. Instead, she asked, \”If you don\’t squeeze out toothpaste for me, how can I brush it?\” When my aunt told me about this, her eyes filled with tears and she said she didn\’t expect it. The child is so ignorant. There is an old saying that if adults are diligent, children will be lazy. The mother does everything herself, and being tired and exhausted will only encourage the child\’s laziness. Shen Yifei, a professor at Fudan University, once put forward a point of view: \”Mom is a superman\” will harm the child\’s life. In her family, when she comes home, she usually divides all responsibilities: her husband is mainly responsible for accompanying her, and she learns to let the children take responsibility for themselves, and she will take on limited housework. Apart from that, she looked for ways to relax and unwind. Seeing that she was always \”lazy\”, her mother said that she was \”an unqualified mother\”. But in fact, her child is warm-hearted and independent, and will take the initiative to help with any little thing at home. For example, if she eats a sandwich and spills it on the floor, her son will come over and clean it up as soon as he sees it. In the eyes of the son, housework is never the mother\’s business alone, and taking care of the mother should be his own responsibility. Mother\’s laziness is a kind of smart withdrawal, not arranging or controlling. Only by giving your child a chance to express himself will he learn to be independent and self-care, and understand responsibility and responsibility. American psychologist John Gottman once said that everyone has two roles: \”child\” and \”adult\”. If you always act like an adult, the people around you will show more of their childish side, creating a subtle balance in your relationship. If you are lazy, your children will be more diligent; if you are a child, your children will become adults. Learn to be a lazy mother. This is not laziness or irresponsibility, but a wise strategy. Education expert Jiang Peirong once said, don\’t burn yourself to warm others. Sowing requires timing, and love requires moderation. Thumbs up, I hope all mothers will be lazy and raise an outstanding child who is independent, self-reliant and self-conscious.