Beware of that thief who steals your intimate time with your children

Since having a child, have you ever felt like a “female”? The answer for many mothers is yes. After becoming a mother. When your child sneezes, you quickly think about whether the child has gotten cold in the past 24 hours. When your child tells you one day, \”Mom, I don\’t like you anymore,\” you will immediately wonder if you have hurt your child in some way. My child loves to eat meat and I worry about whether he will be too fat. My child doesn’t like to eat meat, and I’m worried that he won’t be able to keep up with nutrition. The child goes to bed late and is worried that the child will not grow up. The child went to bed early, and I thought that the child seemed a little unhappy today. When a child has a cold or fever, he closes his eyes and wonders if it will burn out his brain or cause pneumonia. He wishes he could become a thermometer and monitor it 24 hours a day. The child beats others outside and is worried that the child is too violent. The child was beaten, and I was worried that the child was not brave enough. If the child has a docile personality, I worry that he will be too motherly. If the child has a hot personality, I worry that he will suffer a disadvantage. … You must know that many mothers are mothers for the first time. For the first time in my life, I am really confused and anxious! Of course, being a father for the first time may make you feel more confused and anxious. If you don\’t learn, you really don\’t know how to raise this baby in front of you. The intimate time is so short, who let love get hurt? The beautiful parent-child time is fleeting, and the baby grows older just by looking at it. But on the road of parenting, there are always things that make love hurt. I once remembered a sharing by celebrity mother Ma Yili, which inspired me very much. \”I regret more and more the cry immunity training I did when my beloved horse was one year old. Although I successfully got her to learn to sleep through the night in two days, it started to repeat again when she was one and a half years old. She would always wake up once after falling asleep and cry. I clapped my hands and begged for a hug, and found that no one cared about me, so I cried myself to sleep again, and I stubbornly hoped that she would fall asleep soon in the dark, numbing myself to ignore her helplessness, and even thought that she would not remember it when she grew up. These crying nights. This kind of suffering was a huge torture for me, her and the whole family. Finally, I listened to my mother’s advice and put her bed next to my big bed. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I would reach out and pat her. From then on, we and She slept extremely soundly. What’s even more frightening is that a book written by a famous British royal nurse is extremely popular. The book strictly stipulates the feeding and sleeping schedule for the child at each stage after birth, and requires the child to be asleep even at six in the morning. You must decisively open the curtains to wake up the child. Before going to bed at night, ask the mother to remain expressionless and not allowed to speak. She is not allowed to have any eye contact with the child to prevent the child from being excited. The author categorically says that any child can be trained as long as she strictly follows her method. Basically, I can sleep through the whole moon at the full moon!\” Seeing her reflection, I was reminded of many parents who use this so-called \”scientific method\” to raise their children. In the end, it often harms the child\’s growth. I have always been opposed to this kind of \”textbook parenting\”. Never buy a book on the market that teaches you how to raise a successful child. Not only does the quality vary, many books are \”poisonous\”. Anxious parents always dare not stop. One mother said that since the birth of her son, she, like many mothers, started her daily work: reading various best-selling parents’ books and taking notes carefully; strictly following the instructions every day.Prepare food for your child according to the recipes, then check the weather forecast every day, add or remove clothes for your child, and tell your child a bedtime story every day. However, children still have endless problems that make them at a loss every day, and it is completely impossible to deal with books! It seems that every growth needs a lesson. I have become anxious, and as my children grow up, I feel even more anxious. Sometimes I feel that I have really become a neurotic woman. At this time, I began to wonder, did I do something wrong? Many parents today are anxious because social anxiety is contagious. When your anxiety is rampant, it will be passed on to your children. You are busy, tired and confused every day. I expect my child to get better, so I get angry in a hurry. When you see your child slow, urge him to go faster. Seeing that my child is shorter, I wonder every day whether to give him a few bottles of calcium, iron and zinc. When I saw that my child’s grades were a little low, I thought about whether I should make up for my child’s grades! I am afraid that my child will run slowly. Therefore, all the children\’s time is fully scheduled and they are enrolled in various classes: painting classes, swimming classes, piano classes, storytelling classes, thinking training classes… I am afraid that the children will waste their time and lose their lives if they are not careful. At the starting line, children are not given enough time to discover their true interests. What\’s even more frightening is that children are not allowed to have hobbies that don\’t seem to help their grades: playing in mud, picking up sticks, getting wet in the rain, playing with friends… Whenever this happens, they pour cold water on them and blame them. Relax and don\’t let anxiety steal bonding time from you and your child. Many working mothers say that they go to work every day and their children are taken care of by the elderly at home. Every time I go home, I find that the child is very disobedient and spoiled by the old man. I don’t brush my teeth, wash my face, or listen to stories. I just like cartoons. I am afraid that my child\’s behavior and habits will be ruined, so I get angry whenever I see it. Then he started blaming the child for all kinds of wrongdoings and went back to work the next day. After returning home, the accusations started again, day after day. In this way, the child becomes less and less close to the mother, but becomes more attached to the old man. You must know that the elderly are very dependent on their children. If you just act as a referee and coach, how will your children get close to you? He doesn\’t dare to tell you what he has in private, and he doesn\’t dare to reveal what\’s on his mind. I always look fierce when I see you. Try to relax and change your perspective. Start with the elderly and let them know the habits they should develop for their children every day. Cooperation and mutual support are fundamental. Encourage children more, see their strengths, strengthen them, and slowly correct their shortcomings. Be sure to give your child time and don’t rush! In fact, it is you who have to learn and change. Almost all parents experience anxiety and pain. Learning is necessary, it is a channel to the light. And it\’s never too late. Good parents always take care of their children while repairing the little self inside them as they grow up. While raising your children, you are also growing yourself. It is children who make our lives feel like rebirth. Try to relax and really don\’t be anxious because anxiety is like a thief quietly stealing those intimate moments that belong to parents and children.