Children don’t like to do homework, how to help them start quickly

I received a lot of messages in the background. Many friends reported that their children did not like to do homework or did not want to do homework. Asked how to use this method to get children to take the initiative to do homework? 01. The root cause of a child\’s reluctance to do homework may not be the homework problem. If a child has \”extreme difficulty\” in doing homework, if you talk to the parents for a few more words, you may find that the child is not just having difficulty with homework. , there are also various non-cooperation situations with parents in other aspects. The most common solution pattern is probably: parents suppress their emotions to reason with their children – the children do not respond or listen – the parents\’ blood pressure soars, which escalates to scolding the children. The child who was scolded cooperated once and then returned to his original form. How can I write my homework quickly? Efficient homework lessons for children aged 5 to 12, all 12 lessons MP4. Most of the parents who have been in this situation for a long time are exhausted because of homework problems and their children every day. There may be many reasons why children don\’t like to do homework, which cannot be summed up by \”don\’t like to study, don\’t do homework\”. Think back to whether we have too high demands on our children in life. For example, when children are doing things, we have an \”idealized template\” in mind: we believe that children should concentrate on their homework. Once they are distracted, we will conclude that \”concentration is not good\”; we believe that the principles and methods to teach children, Children should understand and correct it once; …for a long time, under the influence of the concept of self-control, we may think that we are trying our best to help children by punishing or rewarding them. If a child doesn\’t do what we expect, we think it\’s their fault. In fact, these \”progressive voices\” do not explore the problem itself and will only make parents more anxious. In order to calm our worries, we may repeat words such as \”You have to work harder\” and \”You have to do the questions more carefully\” to our children, but they do not provide real solutions. At the same time, they also distract the anxious The atmosphere is conveyed to the children\’s hearts. The brain of children who are constantly stressed will continue to secrete cortisol, a \”stress hormone\”, which may remain in the brain for days, weeks, or even months. Chronic accumulation of excess cortisol weakens hippocampal cells and eventually kills the hippocampus. The hippocampus is where humans create and generate memories. 02. Calm your mind and adhere to long-termism. \”Self-driven Growth\” mentions a competency model, which is divided into the following four stages: Stage 1: Unconsciously incompetent. Children at this stage think: \”I\’m pretty good. I don\’t need to learn math, I already know it.\” But in reality, he doesn\’t. At this stage, when the child clearly expresses that he does not need help, even if the parents provide help, they cannot inspire or enlighten him. But it doesn\’t matter, even if the child fails at this stage, he can still move forward. At this time, parents only need to help their children understand that failure is only a temporary failure, and summarizing experience has long-term value. Stage 2: Conscious incompetence. At this time, the child will think: \”Wow! Okay, this is harder than I thought., it seems that I have to put some effort into learning mathematics. ” Even if he hasn’t taken any practical measures, he already knows this in his heart. To do this, he usually takes the next step, which, as you know, is to study. Stage 3: Consciously Competent. This is when the child begins to think, \”I\’ve really studied hard, and I know I will do well on the math test.\” When our children reach this stage, we are usually very happy. Stage 4: Unconsciously competent. Let\’s fast forward 20 years, and that child is now a parent. He has studied mathematics for a long time and can even use it freely without having to think too hard. We hope that our child can reach stage 3, but if he does not successfully pass the other stages on his own, it will be useless no matter how hard the parents think. In this gradual process, parents\’ help is indeed needed, but we can only provide assistance and cannot help the children steer the ship. 03. Detailed approach, use skills instead of nagging. The whole social life is full of unconscious urging designs, but they are not offensive: for example, the countdown of the traffic light when crossing the road, the yellow light when the subway door is about to close, It flashes and makes a beeping sound. When the mall is about to close, it will play that familiar song to signal closing and so on. At the same time, in order to increase people\’s stay time, shopping malls will play some soothing music to make people feel relaxed, while fashion clothing stores will play some fast-paced dynamic music to increase people\’s desire to shop. People don’t like to be forced, and these mechanisms quietly influence us. Likewise, children don\’t like to be forced. Especially in terms of physiological mechanisms, children do not pursue a certain result. They explore aimlessly and cannot follow the rules of efficient work. Not only are they unable to participate in adult social activities, but they are disruptors of family, school and social order. Therefore, we need to give children hints in various ways and find ways to mobilize and stimulate them. Homework can actually reflect a lot of things. Below, I will first talk about how to get children started quickly without being disgusted. It is somewhat difficult to develop orderly habits by asking children to do their homework as soon as they get home or to do their homework at a fixed time. If we think about it from our perspective, it is very difficult for us adults to work overtime for a whole day and immediately start working overtime after returning home. Before your child does his homework, he can play for a while, including doing some sports. Especially nervous children need to vent their energy before they can calm down. Then use an alarm clock, or music that your child likes, as a signal. When it goes off, it means it’s time to start doing homework. Or there is a time for children to eat fruit every day when they come home, and after eating, it is time for homework, forming a good sense of rhythm. 20-Second Quick Start There was once a psychologist named Sean Echol. He wanted to learn guitar well, but he wanted to watch TV as soon as he got home. As a result, he did not practice guitar on one day in the 21-day plan he made. After observing, he found that the reason was that as soon as he got home, he could get the remote control in one second after sitting on the sofa, and he could turn on the TV by pressing the remote control. andThe guitar is placed in the study, and I have to go through the living room to open the cabinet and take out the guitar to practice. For an already challenging task, if the startup time exceeds 20 seconds, it will be difficult to get started. This is the 20-second rule he proposed – if the start-up energy of something is greater than 20 seconds, it will be difficult to start, otherwise it will be fast. Later, in order to change this situation, he took out the battery from the remote control and put it in the cabinet. Instead, he put the guitar on the sofa. It became easier to practice consistently. When children are faced with the mountain of homework, if they don’t have an idea in their mind where to start and the thinking time exceeds 20 seconds, it will be easy to continue procrastinating and be unable to start. We can remind children to start with the subjects they are interested in, start by writing a word, reading a question, and get into the state quickly. Our brain itself is very lazy. In order to save energy, it prefers to accept familiar things rather than always innovating, so it is more difficult to form a new habit. But starting with easy-to-follow steps will send signals to your brain—and it won’t require a lot of energy on your part. We can also explain this principle to children and let them try to arrange the positions of some tools to feel whether quick startup is helpful. The gamification homework \”Positive Discipline\” mentions that only by making children feel good can they do well. The homework itself is a neutral task, and doing it in an interesting way can also make children feel good. For example, some projects can be completed quickly as long as you concentrate. Many parents compete with their children to see who can do it faster. The children feel that this is a parent-child game, their emotions are high, and their homework is completed quickly. There is also a way to exercise concentration, which can be used for some copying or reading assignments. Let’s play a time guessing game with our children. We turn on the phone and count the time, and let the child start doing homework. When he thinks he has persisted for 5 minutes, he can stop. At this time, look at your phone to see if the duration is more than 5 minutes or less than 5 minutes. Keep going for a few rounds and see which one comes closest. Similar methods can not only create a peak learning experience for children and leave them with a positive and non-boring impression of homework, but also increase speed and efficiency. There are many ways to write at the end, but there are no two identical leaves in the world, just like there are no two identical children. Therefore, when parents try various methods, they need to carefully monitor and see which method their children \”call\” on, and then adjust and choose a suitable method. At the same time, you don’t have to work so hard to educate your children. If you persist a little bit every day, it will add up to a huge progress. Rather than pulling the child to complete the task first, it is more important to help the child find the way that suits him best. This is like a child who cannot run fast in a marathon because he is wearing inappropriate shoes. In order not to fall behind the rest of the group, he keeps moving forward and does not dare to stop and change shoes. As everyone knows, if you stop for a small step and change to a suitable pair of shoes, you will catch up faster.