Children who grow up to be outstanding are just because their parents did this when they were young

Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: There are two factors that affect relationships, love and freedom. Love brings our relationships closer; freedom keeps relationships at a distance. Relationships that are too close or too far will make us anxious. So what is freedom? Freedom means proper giving from parents, reasonable expectations from parents, secret attention and respect, proper guidance and giving children time to think, and having boundaries and bottom lines. This is freedom. Freedom does not mean that parents let their children have their way in the name of loving their children, nor do they ignore their children. This is not freedom, but using the guise of freedom to make children lack the right direction. Therefore, if you love your children, you should give them the right freedom, because the right freedom will make your children have boundaries, bottom lines, confidence and excellence. As the American psychologist and educator Rogers said: As long as there is a safe, free, and humane psychological environment, the inherent excellent potential of all people can be automatically realized. Therefore, when we propose to give children freedom, we must think about what real freedom is, rather than blindly giving it to children. Information that is useful, valuable, and can make people progress needs to be thought about and digested. Good education runs counter to eagerness for quick success and instant benefit. Good education is a combination of theory + practice, not something that can be changed by a few cases or by parents who seem to be constantly studying. Children must be taught in accordance with their aptitude based on their current state and situation. Just like last year when my child was disobedient, I started looking for solutions from books. I saw many methods in the book, such as not to disturb the children, but to listen and give the children freedom, so I tried to guide the children using the methods in the book. But when I did that, I found that not only did the child not get better, but he became indulgent. I thought about whether I was wrong or right, and the result was that I was wrong, because what I understand as listening is to listen to the child\’s voice. Freedom means not caring and letting children develop the habit of self-discipline. It is conceivable that children lack self-discipline when they are young and need guidance. I misinterpreted all these, and I did not teach children in accordance with their aptitude according to their specific circumstances. Different children have different education methods. Just like asking a child to put away the stool after eating, many times the child will forget. Sometimes, he will be particularly reluctant, push off, and don\’t want to do it. I later found out that this was not conducive to disciplining the children, so I set rules for the children. After everyone finished eating, they wiped the table and put away the stools. They did what I asked them to do, and the rest of the time was spent by themselves. Now that children are given freedom, they not only feel that cleaning the table and collecting stools is their own business, but also develop a good sense of responsibility. Therefore, true freedom is freedom with rules, rather than giving children some behaviors without any bottom line or boundaries. The book \”Awakening Children\’s Intrinsic Drive\” says: Real education lies in creation, rather than copying or copying books, because the results of copying will make you disappointed. If you are flexible, provide appropriate guidance, and allow yourself to slow down and think based on your child\’s situation, it will be easier to raise excellent children. There are boundaries and bottom lines for loving children. The true love that parents give to their children is a combination of love and rules. The book \”Awakening Children\’s Inner Drive\” says: Freedom without rules is not true freedom, restraint without freedom is tyranny, boundaries andThe right measure depends on how well you understand your child, that is, different children have different methods. A few days ago, when I took my child downstairs to play, my mother complained that her 5-year-old child was looking at her mobile phone until midnight, and if she was not allowed to look at it, the child would be very quiet. But I read in a book that I wanted to give my children freedom, so I never forced them to do so. However, when my children are so young, they love to look at their mobile phones, which really gives me a headache. After listening to this, I feel really helpless. For a 5-year-old child, because the parents want to give their children freedom, they let their children look at their mobile phones according to their wishes. Is this really correct? To be honest, I quite disagree. Children are still young and need correct guidance. This does not mean that they are not allowed to watch, but that they should watch appropriately and let the children know where the boundaries of doing things are. Just like my child, when he started looking at his mobile phone when he was 2 and a half years old, I set a rule to look at it for 3-5 minutes and turn it off at the end. He is now over 5 years old. That is, an animation episode after dinner, about 15 minutes. After dinner and homework, he can control the time himself, but the time for going to bed is 9 o\’clock. In the past, I was always afraid that setting too many rules for my children would affect their real growth, but as my children get older, their habits become better and better. And many times, I am happy when I don’t need to exert any special effort on my part. Fan Deng’s reading recommendation: How to stimulate children’s inner drive pdf+mobi+epub​As parents, when your children are growing up, you don’t just ignore them, but you secretly work on them, teach them well, and moisturize things silently. Only in this way can children develop good habits and achieve self-discipline. A self-disciplined person is not only conscious in learning, but also truly disciplines himself in terms of the quality and depth of his life. A child who is able to be independent in aspects such as honesty, kindness, perseverance, courage, and cooperation is a perfect and comprehensively developed child. Written at the end: Children’s growth does not change in an instant, but slowly gets better with the fine-tuning and appropriate guidance of parents day after day. They exist in the details of life. It only depends on whether the parents are careful to discover and observe and encourage their children through the small things in life. Parents\’ encouragement and love are like a ray of light illuminating a child\’s world, making the child feel cared for, understood, and respected.