Emotions are divided into positive and negative, as well as high frequency and low frequency. For example, happiness and happiness among positive emotions belong to high frequency, while calmness and tranquility belong to low frequency. For another example, anger and fear among negative emotions belong to high frequency, while sadness and helplessness belong to low frequency. Teacher Todd lectures on preschool child psychology for free download [180 episodes completed] Children\’s emotions, whether positive or negative, low or high frequency, are relatively direct. Compared with adults, they have less disguise. Their thoughts are written on their faces, so parents can easily detect them. However, they are often helpless in the face of children\’s negative emotions. Today, I will tell you two sentences as tips. Regular use can relieve your children\’s emotional stress, and it will also relieve your stress. The first sentence of Vol.1: So what? These four words are very powerful, like a shot in the arm, which will instantly give people strength, make them feel confident and no longer afraid. Especially for children, the caregiver\’s words will directly have a soothing effect. \”So what\” is more suitable for two situations: ✰ The first one: anxiety about breaking through yourself. Under normal upbringing, children have a natural motivation to show themselves to others in order to gain recognition from their peers. However, they sometimes feel unconfident, nervous, anxious, and not courageous enough. For example, I want to participate in the sports meeting but I am afraid that I will not get a place in the class, I want to make peace with my classmates but I am embarrassed to speak, I want to raise my hand to ask a question but I am uneasy, etc. At this time, no matter how entangled they are in their hearts, they will all point to the anxiety of \”What if I don\’t perform well?\” Your encouragement cannot be \”No problem, you are great, you can do it\”, but rather \”It doesn\’t matter if you don\’t perform well\” or \”As long as you perform well, you will be successful.\” You can firmly tell him \”just go ahead, it\’s okay\” or \”so what\”. This will give the child the confidence to be “just that”. When your child feels your firm attitude, affirmative eyes, and gentle words, he will be surrounded by a sense of certainty, as if he has a backer behind him and a base camp for retreat in his heart, then he can charge into battle. The fear in my heart is like a paper tiger in front of these words. \”Just do it! It\’s no big deal.\” ✰ The second type: guilt and punishment after breaking the rules. This is more common. For example: the child is late, is caught by the teacher bringing snacks, says the wrong thing to a good friend, fails to finish on time Homework, contradicting my mother, failing in exams, not up to par in running, etc. In short, it just failed to meet expectations or broke a certain rule. At this moment, the child feels guilty and afraid. The guilty thing is that he thinks he shouldn\’t do it, and the fear is that he will be punished. This is a low-frequency emotion that needs to be supported, someone needs to tell him that it is okay, someone needs to let him feel that he will not be punished, that it is not your fault, or that he needs to feel that even if it is a mistake, it is okay and someone will be with him. face. \”So what\” has a miraculous effect at this moment. It will instantly make the child feel that you are on his side. The child\’s subconscious fear of being punished by his parents will also be dispelled. I would like to emphasize two points in particular: ✰ First of all, you must really think that this is nothing. My point of view is: autonomy is more important than following discipline, especially some small rules, such as being late. It doesn\’t hurt to break them occasionally. Imagine if a person who has never broken any rules in his life would have an ego? will be creative? ✰Secondly, this sentence is just a representative. It represents acceptance and your tolerance for allowing your children to make mistakes. Behind it is your attitude towards yourself: Do you allow yourself to make mistakes? Do you allow yourself to break the rules? Giving yourself permission to not be good enough? Remember, your acceptance of yourself will directly influence how you project to your children. How to Cultivate Children\’s Concentration Training Manual Video Course Section 53 I am deeply touched by this. Every time I send my daughter to school and see anxious parents and other children, my daughter and I will look at each other and smile, feeling calm and relaxed. This is the result of being passed down from childhood. My daughter has developed a calm attitude and will never lose control of her emotions just to rush for a few minutes. By analogy, the same is true for other things. Take a step back, even if you can\’t adopt the \”so what\” attitude, at least don\’t scare your children. Sadly, a lot of scaring is a daily routine for parents. For example, eat quickly or you will be late, get dressed quickly or you will miss the bus, study hard or you will have an exam soon, be polite or people will stop playing with you, I will be angry if you make trouble again, write what your dad wants quickly. Back… These words are threatening and intimidating, creating anxiety bit by bit, making the child live in an environment full of danger, like a frightened bird. They are all unconsciously conveying that you cannot make mistakes, and you will be punished if you make mistakes. It is really far away from \”so what\”. If you don’t believe in the power of these words, you can use it on yourself first and tell your inner child “so what” over and over again, and you will feel the power of being accepted. What\’s the big deal, the worst possible thing is to start over again – this is not only comfort, but also self-soothing. I remember there was a TV station line that said: I am not even afraid of death, let alone divorcing a bastard! Life is not about life and death. Remember, you just lack the courage to \”so what\”, that\’s all, but so what? The second sentence of Vol.2: Yes, that’s it. This tip is suitable for low-frequency emotions such as helplessness, helplessness, and powerlessness. As a human being, we will often fall into a deep sense of helplessness. Life is like this many times, it just has no meaning, no goal, it is not as beautiful as imagined, it is so ordinary, dull, boring, boring, and even all kinds of suffering. For example, you have lost your beloved things and loved ones; for example, no matter how hard you try, you are still standing still; for example, what you want and what you have is always unfair; for example, reality always crushes your fragile dreams time and time again; for example, no matter how hard you work, you are still not as good as you. But the people around you… Yes, what makes you suffer is not the specific negative emotions, but a kind of helplessness, a kind of frustration of having to bow to fate. You don’t want to do anything but you can’t do nothing. Any comfort will not help. It will also arouse shame and make you feel even more worthless and shameless. The specific reason cannot be explained, but it is an inexplicable sadness and depression, a sense of loss that cannot be named. If you have to contact reality, it may just be a fallen leaf, or a dispute, or a memory, or a small mistake. Faced with this helplessness, \”so what\” will be ineffective, because it is aimed at maintaining and supporting high-frequency emotions, but it has no solution for indescribable, obscure, complex, and low-frequency emotions, and will also stimulate riseGreater helplessness. And that’s where “yes, that’s it” comes in handy. Under normal circumstances, no matter how helpless it is, it will eventually point to – I still can\’t accept this helplessness, like falling slowly in the dark and damp, with no one to rely on up, down, left, or right. Therefore, if someone says with care: Yes, dear, I know it\’s difficult for you right now, but that\’s how it is now. This sentence may seem powerless, even helpless, but it can resonate with you. It seemed that after the helplessness was spread, there was an echo. The Hunt bbc hunting documentary full set network disk download all 7 episodes 1080P ultra-clear 19.2GB Echo is very important. Just imagine that you turn your full complaints into a long roar in front of the mountains. It is very satisfying in itself. If the echo of the mountains comes from the opposite side, Just like a close friend in the mountains and flowing water reappears on the same channel with you: me too, me too, me too… This is also why many people will unconsciously find a certain piece of music when they are sad and helpless. With the melodious ups and downs of the tune, it seems to take away your thoughts. Layers spread out and slightly rippling, each ripple of thoughts possesses the magic of echo. Similar not only to music, but also to a movie, a novel, a mountain climbing trip, the smell of a cup of coffee, a mind-closed mind wandering, etc. They all have the same effect, and they all convey silently: Yes, dear, you can Sadness can be sad or helpless, so be it, I will be with you quietly. The same goes for Vol.3, which returns to the topic of this article. Children, especially adolescent boys and girls, are confused not by one or two specific emotions, but by the inexplicable, complex, and helpless psychological process mentioned above. You will see some students staring out the window in a daze, you will see children locking themselves in the room all day, and you will also see them being uneasy. This is a powerless emotional state. At this moment, you\’d better not disturb him and give him some space to reconcile with his heart. You won\’t starve to death if you don\’t eat for one or two meals. What\’s more important is that you should calm down your emotions and don\’t be disturbed by this state of being without any energy and spirit, which will make you anxious and think that you have to do something. Having to do something for your children is really wishful thinking. Be clear that no matter what you do, it is to relieve the uneasiness that his state brings to you. If the parent-child relationship is good enough, the child may ask you for help when he or she cannot digest it. However, because these emotions are difficult to express, even children with good eloquence can only say that they are sad for some reason. You are trusted at this moment, but don’t be overly helpful. You just need to be like the echo described above. Hold him gently and say softly: Yes, kid, it’s sad to see you. As for people, that’s how it is sometimes. . If you really feel sorry for your child, tears will fall. At this moment, you and your child are together. This is the so-called love. If you were this child, how would you feel if you were treated like this by another person? The answer is self-evident. It must be to feel deeply understood, moved, soft and warm. So, is there anything more important than this? The answer is equally self-evident: no. No matter whether a child or an adult, if someone in his environment can give him the feelings of \”so what\” and \”yes, that\’s it\”, he is undoubtedly lucky and rare.It all depends on whether there is someone who loves him and tolerates him. What is a little helpless and a little hopeful is that even if you are not so lucky, you can still be self-sufficient and you can learn to treat yourself this way. Treating yourself this way is precisely the basis for treating your children this way. It is no exaggeration to say that it is also the basis for you to attract your lover to you. Recommended books on scientific parenting. I really hope my parents have read this book and download the electronic version. It is said: He who loves himself loves others, and he who loves himself is loved.