Encouragement and expectations for children are the greatest affirmation from parents

Mark Twain even said: \”A sincere compliment can help me live two more months.\” There is no doubt that praise has a positive effect on people. What parents need to understand is how to best guide their children\’s growth through praise. Our common words of praise may have become mantras, such as \”you are smart\”, \”you are great\”, \”very good, keep up the hard work\”, etc., but in fact, real praise is not reflected in these general compliments. Praising your child\’s talents instead of praising his efforts, strategies, and choices is slowly killing his growth mindset. Because the biggest difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset is that people in a fixed mindset believe that their intelligence and abilities are quantitative rather than changing. People with a growth mindset believe that through hard work they can improve their abilities. Stanford Professor Carol Dweck once conducted an experiment on \”Praise Style and the Development of Thinking Modes\” and finally found that: children with a fixed mindset (Fixed Mindset) think that hard work and difficulties make them feel stupid; while a growth mindset Children with the Growth Mindset believe that effort and difficulty can create new neuron connections and make the brain smarter. Growth Mindset enables children to: Embrace learning and growth – Understand the role of effort in intellectual growth – Have good adaptability in the face of setbacks. Most importantly, it can be taught and developed. So as parents, how should we cultivate a growth mindset in our children? 10 Recommended Classic Family Education Books 01 Praise for Effort When a child gets good grades, which of the following two mothers’ praise methods do you think is more encouraging to the child? Method 1: \”You did really well in the exam, baby!\” Method 2: \”You did really well in the exam, you must have worked very hard, keep up the good work!\” If you often use method 1 to praise your children, they will not be disappointed in their future studies. He will not pursue the ultimate or challenge himself, but will often choose simple tasks because what he hopes is to complete them successfully and gain recognition. The second common method is to praise children, and children will dare to challenge more difficult tasks. In contrast, the growth of the latter is naturally faster than that of the former. 02 Praise perseverance. When a child attempts a challenging task, such as breaking a Go game or trying to climb a rock, after countless attempts and failures, please remember to recognize his patience and perseverance. Compared with \”Come on, you can do it!\”, \”Persistence is the greatest success, you are doing well, keep up the good work!\” is more encouraging to the child, and will not put too much pressure on the child and cause the child to give up halfway, and the child will succeed. The probability will be higher. 03 Praise for details. When a child’s ability has improved to some extent, remember to praise details. The more specific the better. For example: Baby, your swimming posture is more standard now, and your ventilation frequency is more even. You have made great progress compared with before! This kind of praise can make children pay more attention to their own details. Details are often the key to success or failure. 04 Praise creativity. Children have the richest imagination. When a child’s imagination is recognized, he will be more willing toTo think about the world and life. Children\’s creativity is the accumulation of creativity and thinking. Therefore, when your child happily shares his creativity with you, be sure to praise him! 05 Praise for Attitude Whether it is in study, work or life, attitude determines quality. When your child completes his homework and previews tomorrow\’s learning content, have you ever praised his learning attitude? When children complete tasks with a positive attitude, don\’t forget to affirm their attitude. 06 Praise for cooperative spirit. No matter how smart the child is, he will not always be able to complete all the work alone in the future. Being able to cooperate well with peers is actually cultivating children\’s ability to communicate with others and their ability to unite and cooperate. It is very important to praise your child\’s cooperative spirit. When your child completes his group assignment, tell him: \”Your group worked together to achieve a goal. This spirit must be maintained in future life!\” 07 Praise Leadership skills: Although some things are not entirely done by the child himself, he is responsible for management and he does a good job because he has a strong sense of responsibility and leadership skills, which must be praised. Let your child know that although he was not personally involved in every step, you made it happen, which is a very important factor. 08 Praise for courage. Praising a child for his courage is the best time to help him improve his confidence index. Courage is a child’s outward expression, but also their inner understanding of themselves. Children dare to let go of their parents\’ hands when learning to swim, and children are not afraid when learning to ride a bicycle. Parents should encourage their children: \”Dare to face difficulties head-on, is the best quality!\” Help children to have an adventurous spirit, be full of confidence, and be confident and calm when they walk independently in the world. 09 Praising carefulness often reflects the details in some small things, and the details reflect the child\’s comprehensive and multi-angle thinking. When you go out to play, your children will not forget to bring an umbrella, which comes in handy when it rains. A careful child will check the weather forecast before going out. At this time, parents should praise him for being careful and thoughtful. 10. Praising a trustworthy person and breaking one\’s trust will lead to a bad reputation. Good credit is a quality that must be cultivated, so we should help our children understand the importance of integrity in a timely manner. For example, when you have an agreement with your child, you can say: \”I believe in you, because you have fulfilled everything you said before.\” \”I believe in you, you will find a good way…\” 11 Praise for humility from others Absorbing good advice and experience can also improve your own abilities. People with a growth mindset generally have the mentality to learn from others with an open mind and not be arrogant in victory or discouraged in defeat. When a child succeeds, you cannot just praise it. You should guide the child to summarize the gains and losses and let the child continue to work hard. When a child fails, the child must learn to listen to other people\’s suggestions. When the child listens carefully to the advice given by others, be sure to praise the child. 12. Praise choices for completing tasks well, sometimes because of hard work, but sometimes because we made the right choice. Praising children for making the right choice is also the key to cultivating a growth mindset. Dear parents, when you want to say \”You are awesome!\” to your children, think carefully about how to praise them to help them grow better.