Establish good rules and children will feel safer

When a little life comes to us, it brings us infinite joy. This little baby will soon go from a period of eating and sleeping to a naughty period. I saw in a parenting book that this period of time for children is called the \”child\’s ignorance period\”, which generally refers to the fact that there are many dangerous items, but the child has the ability to touch them, but is unable to identify whether they are dangerous. For example: if a button on clothes is caught by a baby and is not noticed in time by an adult caregiver, it can easily be swallowed as food, causing life-threatening consequences; a fruit knife placed on the coffee table can be taken by a baby out of curiosity. Use it as a toy in your hand. The dangers can be imagined; letting a baby eat with chopsticks will cause him to fall down with the chopsticks… Just imagine these unsafe hazards appearing all the time as children grow up. However, these foreseeable hidden dangers can be prevented and eliminated as long as our caregivers are more careful and move dangerous objects out of the baby\’s sight and place them out of the child\’s reach. If the protection is good and the children are not harmed, they will feel safe. However, children\’s growth requires constant exploration, safety hazards will become more and more uncertain, and behavioral habits will also have many problems. When he doesn\’t encounter obstacles, he doesn\’t understand where the danger lies. His fear of the unknown makes him dependent on others, and he needs a clear boundary. I remember reading a passage in Dr. Dobson\’s book \”The Courage to Discipline\” that mentioned rules for children: \”If there is a railing on the edge of the cliff, then people dare to lean on the railing and look down, because they will not be afraid of falling. ; If there is no railing, everyone will stop far away from the cliff, let alone stand on the edge of the cliff and look down. The railing is the boundary, and children who know the boundaries (rules) will feel safe. On the contrary, there are no boundaries The child does not feel safe because he does not know where the safety standard is.\” I feel the same way. When my daughter was 2 years and 3 months old, by chance, I read \”Disciple Rules\” to her, and suddenly I thought it was time to start We have established \”Family Rules\” for our family, and we want our daughter to know what things need to be done to abide by the agreed rules. I have grasped the following six points when setting up \”Family Rules\” for my daughter: 1. It is simple and easy to understand and easy for children to follow. For example: the rules about eating in our \”Family Rules\” stipulate that if you leave the table, it means you are full, and you cannot play for a while and come back to continue eating. (Don’t worry that your children will be hungry. Once the rules are established, they will eat better.) 2. Family members should abide by the rules set, regardless of the occasion. For example: There is one article in our \”Family Rules\”: \”No littering\”, so whether we are at home or taking our children outdoors, we will follow the rules. I will bring a plastic bag in advance and collect all the packaging bags of my daughter’s snacks in the plastic bag, so that there will be no littering. 3. Set rules and tell them in a calm tone, respect your children’s ideas, and trust them to do it. You cannot act like a parent: \”You must listen to your father (mother), we have the final say!\” Forcing children to obey their parents will only turn the rules into punishment. 4. Rules are not only for children, but also for parents. My daughter was introverted when she was a child and didn’t open her mouth very much when meeting people.greet. Our \”Family Rules\” stipulate that we must be polite when meeting others. Whenever I meet neighbors or kindergarten parents and children, I first greet them loudly and use civilized language, such as \”hello\”, \”thank you\” and \”please\”. The children quickly imitate it, and now they have changed their previous \” \”It\’s difficult to open the mouth of Chrysostom\”, and you can take the initiative to say hello to acquaintances you meet. 5. When setting rules, pay attention to the child’s perspective. Don\’t attribute your child\’s naughtiness to \”making mistakes\”. Know that children always follow their parents\’ behavior as a standard, so it\’s more important to maintain good behavior! 6. Choose a time to establish rules. Don\’t think about it all at once. It should be done when both the child and you are calm. This will be more effective. Once, at around 9pm, I was about to discuss with my daughter about extending the piano practice time by 10 minutes every night. When I saw that the child looked tired, I stopped. I arranged for the child to wash and rest first, and decided to postpone it until the next day. Make another request. If \”Family Rules\” are established, will the children be able to abide by them completely at all times? the answer is negative! This requires parents to be patient, repeat it N+1 times, and not be afraid of trouble. This is also a necessary process for children to grow in early childhood. We use judgment to decide which things must be observed in principle and which ones can be appropriately relaxed. Safety issues are of course the first priority. Children must not be allowed to climb over the railings or throw things under high-rise buildings… As for toys and books that are not taken back and placed in their original places in time according to regulations, even if you are very bored, you can tolerate it for the time being. Don\’t get angry at your children. Remember: The worst way to set rules is: sometimes it’s okay, sometimes it’s not okay, leaving the child at a loss as to what to do. Yesterday, I took my daughter for a walk in the park near my home. I found a group of ants. I squatted down and said to my daughter: \”Baby, pull out two pieces of grass and come here and we will watch the little ants move.\” As soon as I finished speaking, my daughter\’s childish voice came to my ears: \”Mom, you broke the rules. Did you say you should take care of flowers and plants?\” I suddenly remembered that when my daughter wanted to pick the roses planted by her aunt in the yard, I stopped her and told her to take care of the flowers and grass. But this time I asked her to pick it again… I apologized to the child for my rashness, because we adults must set an example. Some mothers will definitely say that what kind of rules should such a young child set? When he grows up, he will naturally understand everything. We must know that \”loving children\” and \”setting rules\” are not a single-choice question. As parents, we must realize that rules and love are inherently unified. If the love we give our children causes them to be selfish, uneducated, and unpopular wherever they go, then this kind of love will cause endless harm. Establishing rules is not to restrain children or to punish them, but to help children develop good behavioral habits. We cannot accompany our children throughout their lives. If there is anything we can do for them that will benefit them throughout their lives, it is to give them all our love and teach them the rules of life and doing things. It is the instinct of every parent to love their children, and it is important to set rules for their children so that they can grow into independent and responsible people. real rulesRules are rules that embody love, and true love is love with rules.

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